So I have tried giving up picking in the past, and always eventually failed. It's hard to break a habit that has only been getting increasingly worse for over 10 years. But I have realized that it is essentially how I deal with any form of stress. I am enduring a lot of stress in my life, dealing with my family (or rather, trying not to), moving out, a freshman in college in a stressfully unsafe neighborhood. However, I have been here a little over a month on my own and I have come to the conclusion that if I don't stop now, I never will. I could be setting myself up for failure (hey, aren't I already a failure though? my arms and legs look pretty nasty), but I NEED to try something.
Which leads me to my [attempt at a] solution. I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday a few days before I moved out here, and I want so many more. I have so many images meaningful to me that i want to decorate my body with. Through talking to people and researching, it seems that one can tattoo over a scar as long as it is well healed and not too severe. I don't think any of my scars are that severe, they're mostly just discolorations, with some slightly raised. But I want them to be gone, this part of my life to be over.
I have decided that I will not pick. And I will do this because I want to have beautiful arms again. To me, beautiful arms means full sleeves. I know I can't bring myself to harm a gorgeously designed tattoo. So instead of sitting around picking and digging my skin, i will be designing my tattoos (I'm in art school). Someday (I think two years is long enough for everything to heal) I will cover up the personal reminders of all I have been through with something much more pleasant to look at. I must move on.
P.S. Please refrain from telling me all about how you know I will regret my tattoos, I have already received many a lecture on all the reasons why not to. I appreciate your views, but I didn't post this to get reprimanded. I just wanted to make this goal sort of official. And it's not like I'll be marring my skin with tattoos, it's much more gross as it is.