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Lip Picking

ar6473 , 01 Oct 2009

severe lip picking

I have been picking my lips my entire life( as long as I an remember) and I'm a 20 year old female. Sometimes I can go a day without doing it, but usually I cant. I do it probably over 100 times a day without even noticing. I dont even realize my hand is up at my lips when it's happening until a few minutes later. My bf gets really upset with me about it and wants me to stop. he doesnt understand that it is so incredibly hard for me to control. Every time he sees me doing it he yells at me. He thinks its going to help and make me stop. It just makes me do it even more when hes not around. I feel like I HAVE to do it, and I can't imagine ever stopping. I can remember so many times when I have sat down and decided I wasn't going to do it anymore. Then about three hours later I catch myself doing it. When i do catch myself, i make myself stop but I start getting extremely anxious and my head starts to hurt if I can't let myself do it. It almost relieves the physical pain I feel when I cant do it. When my bf slaps my hand away, the urge do it becomes so much worse. I feel like im going to go crazy if i cant. I have literally no idea what to do. I am so tried of my bf getting upset with me over it. He gets really mad everytime I do it, and he doesn't understand that I'm not able to control it. He says i need to replace it with something else. But nothing can replace that. I cannot imagine ever getting over this, but I would give everything I have to never do it again.
166 Answers
Iwant2Stop
March 18, 2013

In reply to by Iwant2Stop

I bought myself a little tub of Vaseline and it works great and ladies if you put this on it may help aesthetically since it looks like a natural shiny gloss; it makes me feel pretty. I put it on during the day and at night. It's been helping me and I hope it helps all of you.
Chill24
April 21, 2014

In reply to by Iwant2Stop

I own all sorts of lip balms, vaseline, you name it but i always end up licking whatever i have on my lips off and i go right back to biting my lips. It may help some people but for me it just makes it worse because if i have that layer of product on my lip it just makes me more aware of my lips you know.
P_M
March 25, 2013
dear friends, let me say first how moved i was when i read all these comments about 10 days ago. apart form the incredible insights and self-analysis i saw throughout this forum, what struck me was the strangely beautiful (shall i say almost poetic) way in which you wrote your confessions. here is my story: i have been picking my lower lip intensively since 2007, so about six years now, although it probably started earlier than that, but in that period it must still have been intermittent. around 2007 i was having a very stressful time in school when i started picking intensively. i have not had my mouth look normal since then even for a few days. the worst fruit of my picking labor is a dark spot from a blood vessel that has been broken, with much blood flowing all down my mouth and chin (vampire-style) a total of fifteen to twenty times maybe. it's always been the same vessel so i am not sure if the dark mark will go away even if i stop picking for a good while. it's ugly and it bothers me a little but perhaps not as much as the general condition of my lower lip. now, when i read the posts more than a week ago it was like a revelation. it just so happened that around the same time a significant other, who is a habitual cheek-chewer, decided to quit the habit. that was a big inspiration, along with your posts, because instead of being scolded by someone who doesn't have the problem, i saw a good example close at hand. if someone next to you shows they can do it, it could help you as well. or at least it had that effect on me. so i decided to stop, and here is the report: 1. i armed myself with two very smooth dark pebbles, very pleasant to the touch, about two inches in diameter, that i had gotten years ago on cape cod, so there were some pleasant memories associated. the pebbles went into my hands and didn't leave them except in cases when i had to hold something else (while cooking e.g.) 2. i started scabbing. it was terrible. i couldn't bear it but i tried my best, and i think i did do my best. there was a relapse of sorts every once in a while but not quite to harmful: i felt a compulsion to at least clip the edges of the scabs every once in a while with a pair of nail clippers. i wish i had not done that because it was a bit of cheating, but in the end it wasn't so bad because i was careful and really did not cut more than little ends that were already peeling off, and i did it very gradually. 3. the worst thing was that one round of scabbing turned out to not be enough. there was a second round — but the scabs were thinner, smaller, and less prominent. so i was trying to be patient. 4. after the fist six days or or, when the scabbing had become lighter, i started using honey — just smearing honey (very thick, non-viscous, raw and very waxy organic honey) gently on my lips. that was really good. i managed not to lick my lips, as i saw some people said online when describing this method of sealing and moisturizing the lip surface. my lips are not perfectly healed or smooth yet, but it's getting there. i will try to continue to be patient and not touch or pick them. i am feeling hopeful. it was not as bad as i thought it would be after the first week. that's the hardest time.
Beth UK
March 28, 2013
Hello everybody. OK heres a story. Imagine the scene, my first day of school as a frightened 5 year old and what do I remember, the new friends I must have made? the exciting activities im sure I partook in? NOPE! I remember some little tell tale kid putting their hand up in front of everyone and ratting on me to my lovely new teacher because I had been quietly picking my bottom lip untill it bled! I still remember the look of disgust on her face as she told me how naughty I was for doing that! I have no idea if that was the first time id done it or if thats just the first time I can recall but ive been persistant with it since. Ive also become so good at hiding the evidence that im pretty sure people who have known me for years have never known that I do this (or if they do they're too polite to say anything!). It took my moving in wth my boyfriend after 2 years before he noticed! I have a multitude of balms and chapsticks (that dont work!). Ive learned that if i pick my lips to bits at night and then cover them in skin healing cream whilst I sleep, the redness is normally coverable by morning and if its not I put on a thin layer of balm, lip liner (i find it covers and stays put better then lipstick) and then coloured gloss and I can just about get away with it. Im now 30, married and a teacher myself but I just cant seem to break this habbit. I dont even need to think about it. Its just so natural for me to sit watching tv whilst taking off that horrid, rough top layer of skin and even though my lips are stinging like mad afterwards I do love the completely smooth feeling I get for a few minutes before they scab. I wonder if anyone else understands how totally satisfying it is to putt a huge piece of dry skin in one go. Once I got right the way across and I was so happy with myself I didnt want to throw it away!!!! How weirds that?!! I did tho, just to be clear I dont keep the bits! Anyway, ive just read on someones comments that shes trying honey. As i type this im sitting here with honey on my lips. Stings a bit because i was picking earlier! For the first time I have a diagnosis for this secret, dirty habbit of mine. I so grateful to you all for having the confidence to tell you're stories. Love to you all XXXX
highballer
June 28, 2013

In reply to by Beth UK

fuck i work for school board, the way she treated you was pathetic at best, yet i teach with your problem and for me it got worse as soon as school ended! Boredom, anxiety, etc. here yesterday by lip and chin is picked to hell. I HATE THIS! i am sorry for what you went through! It seems to take shape when a totally anxious situation takes place, from there u cannot stop! That was the way for me!
Lois88
March 30, 2013
Same boat as everyone else: been picking since who-knows-when and I seem to be drawn to picking/biting my lips without realising it. Current age: 25. Times I've tried to stop: haha too many to count! I am contributing to this conversation because one of my many spur of the moment "cure" lip balms has actually been able to heal my lips fast enough that i have been able to stand NOT picking the new skin off before it heals! First, I read about coconut oil and started applying this, thought it was pretty good, seemed to be working. But then I randomly bought SUPER Lush Lips by Dr. Nicholas Perricone on Strawberry.Net and I am in LOVE with this balm! Although I read somewhere that it's been discontinued :( But anyhoo, i bought it cos it claimed to have "coconut oil tocotrienols" in it... not that I know what they are... but i was enjoying the straight coconut oil so i thought i'd give this a go, BEST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE. Day 3 of using it constantly and my lips have gone through the new skin phase and are almost healed completely for the first time in I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN! I managed to force myself to not pick for the last 3 days... I think i maybe let myself pick/bite with my teeth once or twice but that's a huge deal. I feel that I'm getting over the compulsion to pick when I'm bored/nervous and the SUPER lip balm/coconut oil is definitely helping, so get on it if you can find it online!! It's funny that I tell my flute and piano students every lesson that repetition is the key to perfection. If you repeat a desired behaviour over and over correctly enough times you will force a new habit, whether good or bad. Why I have never put my foot down and applied this to my lip picking situation I'll never know. The more times you can keep your hands/teeth away from your lips the better your "winning streak" will be and you will make a new, good habit of resisting the urge to pick :) I'm looking forward to having smooth normal lips in the next few days because I WILL keep this good momentum up!!! Good luck, everyone :)
highballer
June 28, 2013

In reply to by Lois88

let's see how long that lasts??? Not to be rude but i have advanced to half of my chin scabbed! thank god it is summer as i am a teacher and coconut oil has severely helped me from looking like a herpe infested person to looking somewhat decent! Again, except for mild rosacea and flawless skin it is an underlying anxiety habit which one, obviously has no control of. Why would you or I want to leave the house looking like this, I am afraid to confront my husband as he comes c=home today!
AmberNeh
April 02, 2013
I have been picking my lips for about 2 years now, but in the last 6 months it has gotten incredibly worse, but my stress levels have also sky rocketed. I do smoke, and will admit to a small oral fixation as another user suggested. I have taken to carrying a tube of Aquaphor with me at all times and applying it as often as possible, Vasiline when I am at home. Moisturizes the hell out of them and gets all over your hands when you pick. When i am at work i cant have that stuff every where haha. i just started dating someone new and i need to get past this. I also am working on getting my stress and anxiety under control. Hopefully it helps. *SIGH* So nice to know I have somewhere to talk to people.
wishIwouldstop
April 06, 2013
I’ve been picking and peeling my lips (particularly the bottom) since about middle school; I am 22 now. I had never met another “lip-picker” until I met my boyfriend 2 years ago, I noticed a few small puckered wounds on his lip that I noticed far too frequently in the mirror. Until I met him, I was very ashamed of myself and what my psychologist wanted to call “Self-mutilation.” (I felt that was taking it too far, although yes, demographically it could be considered that, and I am tired of doing it) but for the first time outside of therapy, I told someone. After we got to know each other, I told him that I picked my lips, without pointing his out. He openly admitted he did it as well. We talked a lot about how embarressed we were, about it "feeling good," how we wish we could stop. As well as how it feels that people always seem to notice when you feel the least confident about it. Ever since that moment, if someone tells me “Your lips are chapped” or “Your lip is bleeding” I simply say, very easily, “Oh, yeah, I have a habit of picking my lip, kind of like biting your nails.” In reality, you do feel a little self-concious, but I promise just saying those words confidently and admitting that you have a habit, is so relieving. And guess what? Each time I say this, the person I said it to goes on about a different subject and doesn’t notice again. It's refreshing. When I was young I had (excuse the likely misspelling) trichotilomania, which is pulling of the hair folicles. I did this to my head and eyelashes for about a year when I was 6, my parents were divorcing at the time. I didn’t know what it was until I researched it in high school when I noticed my lip habit, and very quickly associated my lip picking with my previous condition. For those of you out there that have any ‘picking’ issues: hair, skin, nails, teeth…it’s all the same. So lip pickers, if you come across someone who doesn’t pick their lip but pulls at something else, feel free to open up to them. I’ve done this for a few people that I’ve come across, just telling them openly that I have the same habit, and even that helps. The surprise on their face mixed with the “You understand?” stare is priceless, and you may just make a new friend. I hope I can stop picking soon. My bottom lip is always so red and blotchy, I never feel comfortable in photographs, and I have spent a small fortune on the menthol Medicated Chapstick. My boyfriend has gotten so much better though! And he’s the one helping me each day reminding me not to pick when I zone out, or get drowzy but not tired enough to sleep. It really helps to have a teammate and best friend in quitting this habit. He is patient with me, he knows exactly what it's like. *** Side note: Ladies stop covering it with lipstick! No matter how bad you think it looks, please no lipstick!! From personal experience, the synthetic dyes can actually cause bacterial infections in the cuts. It kills me to read so many women stating that they cover it with lipstick and liner. Lipstick shouldn’t be applied to any open sores!*** Thank you for this site and forum. I knew there were others out there that could empathize, but I didn't realize how many! I wish I had found all of you sooner! :)
mjs77
April 21, 2013
wow...just wow is all I can say. At 21 I have become so fed up with this habit it really is time to do something about it. I lather 100s of layers of lip balm on at night and pray that when I wake up i have no intense bulging sores or bloody marks on my lips. Ever since I was a kid (as others have explained) my mother has been slapping my hand away whenever I have the urge to viciously pick at my lips. I am not sure what has happened in recent weeks but the urge to pick is the strongest its ever been..I lie in bed at night until 2-3am attacking and pulling at my lips until they bleed all over, even then that doesnt stop me to reach the 'smooth' lips others have mentioned. They get SO dry and cracked that it hurts to even touch them..yet i still cannot stop. I find myself picking when im bored, when im stressed and recently it seems I am extremely anxious. Something extremely odd about it all is...I have allergic reactions to some acidic foods in which i get an odd pimple like sore under my tongue and swollen glands..when i pick so much until it bleeds i get the same thing, the same weird under tongue pimple and swollen glands..but do i stop..ofcourse not. Finding this thread was so interesting to me..I have googled the problem before but for most responses it seemed like a habit to grow out of like biting nails (which i also used to do) this i trained myself to grow out of and now have nails i can be proud of and take care of. I own EVERY lip balm known to man, believing the gimmicks they claim to make your lifts soft and smooth. I recently purchased ELIZABETH ARDENS 8 HR CREAM which i read in another forum was HOLY GRAIL. the only problem with this is...and yes i have known this for a while, is that the issue is not THE LIP BALM iit is not THE CURE. My lips may feel smooth for a total of 1 whole minute, but it just feels like any type of cream is immediately sucked in by my extremely dry cracked lips. Although this cream IS the best ive found to making them smooth (and most of the time ensuring that i dont wake up with huge gash wounds) the main goal is to stop. I sit up at night staring blankly and just non stop picking..Im starting to think im a freak. Some people have mentioned it as a form of self mutilation (hmmm..) but i dont see myself wanting to hurt myself, it just feels like something that cant be broken..but i sure as hell will try*i say to myself questionably* so hopefully continuing to read through all these stories will make it better right? people say its related to stress..but to be honest, im a university student with not many issues to be stressed over..I feel so damn ANXIOUS at night but have no idea what from..oh man. hopefully this post relates to all of you the way yours did to mine and will start a semi rehabilitating method to stoping this life-long *sofar* habit.
playinitlive
April 28, 2013
I have been picking my lip for as long as I can remember. It's something that I.enjoy doing even tho its sometimes hurts like hell and it starts to bleed. I use my fingers but most of the time I use TWEEZERS.. Yes, I said tweezers.lol I don't do it bc I enjoy the pain or seeing the blood like some ppl do I do it bc I kinda get excited when.I pick at them and peel off a long and wide peice of skin...weird I know..I went as far as dumping out a bottle of meds and used the bottle to store my lip skin bc I thought it was such an exciting feeling to peel that skin...but after a month of doing that I reposed I better not bc I would pick more and more everyday just so I could fill the bottle..its weird I know but I'm only telling u guys this bc most ppl live doing it bc of the pain or the blood and I did it just for the skin. The blood and pain part I actually hated...the best part was less then 24 hrs later the skin would grow back and I would be right back at it with the tweezers and a mirror... I just got done 3 mine ago and I'm typing with a peice of napkin on my mouth stopping the blood...I go thru phases where I would do it constantly for a couple months and stop for a couple...I think it gets bad when I'm more stressed out and have a lot on my mind and when I do it I'm focusing on my lip and only my lip....I thought I was the only one out there who had this issue....I'm soo happy I'm not...I constantly catch ppl staring at my lips when they r talking to me and I'm always wondering like what r they thinking...I hope one day I could actually resist from doing it....
Ginatheresa
May 08, 2013
Wow. For the longest time I thought I was the only person who did this. I've been picking my lip for a long time and I've never been able to quit. There are times when I don't realize I do it and I'm constantly carrying Chapstick which actually makes the picking worse cuz it makes my lips dry and flaky. As of right now I am biting my lip cuz I have the urge to pick. Sometimes I bleed and get embarrassed. My lips hurt so bad at times from picking and I don't know how to stop. It's nice to know there's a name for it and I'm not crazy
hellolmt
May 24, 2013

In reply to by Ginatheresa

oh my gosh! Me too, I honestly thought I was the only person who did this!! I don't know why but I just decided to Google it and here I am. I feel like such a freak sometimes and even though I can stop for a while I always end up going right back to picking! Been doing this as far back as I can remember. When I'm bored, or concentrating or falling asleep... You all know how it is... I don't really have to explain further because anything I could possible say has already been said before, I just wanted to add another comment showing other people they are not alone. I don't drink, smoke or binge eat. I'm a fairly healthy person, I guess this is my only vice. The whole "self mutilation" thing is interesting to me. I've been at this since I was really young and I don't feel like I hate myself so I'm on the fence about that theory. I'm not like a pain junkie or anything but for some reason I actually like the painful feeling of ripping off a good size piece of skin until it bleeds. (OMG that sounds so crazy in writing!!) Any how, I hope we all figure out a way to stop. I know that when I do go threw those phases where I am able to not pick, my whole face changes for the better. Like someone else mentioned, keeping my lips super moisturized ( Burt's Bee's/ Carmex) seems to help. Good luck to us all!
highballer
June 28, 2013

In reply to by hellolmt

me too then i realize that liquid is profusely coming therefore i know huge scab, embarrassing! The only thing that i found to reduce the scabbing is pure coconut oil. i use it for my hair, as well as skin and cook with it. it is nature's natural rmed, i wish there was a remedy to stop picking, since i am off work due to summer as teacher i am thinking of a band aid, as now i am picking my chin and every time it is healing i pick at it again, Anxiety prob., even though unconsciously, obviously doing it is half the battle!
BeautyLady
May 08, 2013
I have been picking my lips for about 38 years, since I was about 4 yrs old. Two years ago I got acrylic nails for the first time and found that I could no longer do it with those fake nails on. YAY! I know someone who was born with a bad nail condition and has gotten acrylics every 2 weeks since she was about 12 years old and now she's in her mid-twenties, with no adverse effects. I hand-wash dishes a lot, and got a little fungus a couple of times, but it went away, no problem. I recently stopped getting them done due to finances, and to see if I'd start picking my lips again, which unfortunately, I did, and now it's been a couple months. I will get a new set pretty soon. I recommend the natural style of American manicure, which is like the French manicure, but not stark-white tips. They look very natural! I get mine rounded (not square shaped) and short. I had some expensive solar nails and another special kind that is meant to be superior, but the acrylics are the cheapest, look great, and do the job of preventing lip-picking. I was addicted to lip balm every night, which made my lips feel "tight" and when I picked them, they rarely bled, since it was pretty much the dried lip balm coming off. Occasionally my lower lip bleeds a little but heals in one day. I tried Mary Kay's lip exfoliation to ease the feeling that they need to be picked at, but that didn't help much; I usually still felt like picking. I have also tried the stick on nails from Dollar General, which are fine for a one-day special occasion or weekend, but they come off fairly quickly. The thumb ones stayed on well though, so I just kept them on for about 2 weeks (they were french manicure) which made it difficult to pick. I hope my experience and advice helps someone!
highballer
June 28, 2013

In reply to by BeautyLady

yep chin and lip picker too., but these shady ass, asian salons have been linked to hep ab and c, and i know u have had your cuticle cut more than once with unethical practices! i would rather have my face picked to shit, as my chin is right now1 i don't want my husband to see me, yes it is that bad! This sucks bot don't add insult to injury
MsAngel1981
October 22, 2013

In reply to by BeautyLady

I will be 32 next month & have been picking my lips for as long as I can remember. I too get acrylic nails. At first it was mainly for looks & convenience but I noticed that when I had them I couldn't pick my lips as well & without them I'd go right back to it. So now I mainly get them done just so I can't pick my lips. I try to have them done as much as possible, unfortunately finances have been bad lately but soon as better income starts rolling in again I will be right back at my trusted nail salon.

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