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Noscubs , 05 Oct 2009

Picking/staying focused?

I don't know if I'm spamming this forum, but I am really interested in discussing and understanding our habit so we could quit it, so I will share my thoughts even if I know there may be no truth in them. I just came to think when I sat i the library today, studying, that I have a problem staying awake and focused. I'm quite discret about picking in public, I don't put my hand in my pants, or something like that. It makes me feel the urge to pick, but I won't do it to an extreme (by the way, that's one of my tricks for not picking badly, avoiding being alone, and it works for me!). I found out that pressing the skin between my fingers so it hurt helped me to stay focused! So, my theory was that the pain might be a way for me to stay awake or "conscious". Well, squeezing one's skin is maybe not very healthy eighter, but it was more the thought I was interested in, that maybe I pick to get some stimuli, sensation, so I don't go zombie. And if it is like that, maybe I could find some less destructive way. Then I don't know why I zone out while picking too, but that's another story... And nowadays I am quite strict with my self to always stay conscious, and not letting me zone out while I'm picking. I have a rule, that if I pick, it must be a conscious choice. I repeatedly ask myself "Are you sure you want to pick". Often the answer is "yes", but sometimes the answer is "no, it makes me feel sick" (and it does not mean that I am able to stop right then, but it makes me conscious about the anxiety). It does not stop me from picking, but it has decreased my picking somewhat, being sure to do it by "free choice". (This is not true about my "light" picking, I'm picking "softly" all the time I'm writing this, but that is not the real problem, even if it is disturbing too. I was talking about the blood wars.)

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