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Online Test For Skin Picking Disorder

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October 10, 2009

I can relate to your story. Especially the part about your mom looking the other way. I think her choosing to do that did a lot of damage. She couldnt face the truth about my problems and her not willing to help me made it hard for me to help myself. I think we learn how to either be proactive or passive from our parents. I also have the same issue of going a while without picking and then it being a lot worse. Its bad when my face starts to look normal, because then i think i can get "just that one", and it wont make a difference. Hours or days later I realize I've completely ruined all my hard work, and that is the WORST feeling in the world I think. I also feel the same way about wanting to show my body. Im am so SICK of covering up and missing out on clothes I like because im too embarassed. I wind up battling myself, too, because i want to be able to say f-it and wear whatever, but i cant find the strength often. I dont know about your moms idea that you are making things harder for yourself on purpose. Thats something you alone know the answer to. In some ways i think compulsions may have to do with trying to ground ourselves, and there is safety in staying "stuck", or in the known...however I dont think its all our fault or that we have the power to just "quit it". I dont think any of us chose the emotional pain/anguish/despair that comes with picking. My point is dont be too hard on yourself, or blame yourself completely. You are right, picking is like smoking, super hard to stop. Although I would say quitting smoking is easier. Anyway congratulations on the progress you are making. i wish you the best