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rayannegraff , 28 Oct 2009

New here - need help...

Hi. I'm a 25 year old female and I have been picking my skin since I have been little. However, it got really bad within the last 2 years when I dumped my childhood sweetheart (boyfriend whom was abusive). I stay away from my face and places you can see and usually pick my buttocks, back and thighs. I have terrible pitted spots and since I have olive skin, they are dark spots that people often mistake for bruises. I am scarring my beautiful, otherwise clear and flawless skin. I now have a new boyfriend and I am scared he is going to see the marks and think I'm a wacko. I tend to pick when I am understimulated - watching television, or even bored in class. I try to cover them with band-aids but that will only work for a day or 2 and as soon as the band-aid comes off, I pick again. I can spend hours doing it. I think the fact I can't see what I am doing, causes me not to care at the moment how much damage I am doing. Of course, I have picked my face on occasion but since I can see what I am doing and how ugly I am getting, I will stop and it will heal. I need to know replacement strategies. I keep telling myself I have to stop because I want my body flawless for my boyfriend (and me, too obviously). Please help. Thanks.
4 Answers
November 03, 2009
Hi, I am a recovering skin picker. Today is my day 5 without picking. I can suggest a few things for you which work for me. First please just accept yourself the way you are and really try not to criticize yourself. Picking is your way of coping with a deeper problem in your life. Maybe you never recovered properly from the abusive relationship and the pain is still there. Try to analyze why you pick. What picking gives you? Do not be afraid to tell your boyfriend about your problem. He will know it anyway. If he does not understand you than he is not your true love and no regrets. After one not successful relationship you do not need more stress pretending. I know it is hard but you need somebody to love you for what you are, not for something which you are not. It helps so much when you no longer hiding. Go deeply inside yourself and tell yourself I will quit no matter what, I will not give up, I will do it. Even if I fail I will learn from my mistakes and start again. But I will never give up. Start believing in yourself that you can do it. Start imagining yourself not being a picker. Start imagining yourself with clean beautiful skin. I also relax for at least 5mins 2 times per day. It helps to let it go. I ask God for help every day and thank God for helping me throughout the day to stay away from picking. Watch your hands. When they go to pick try to do something really stupid, like shouting as a horse or pretending you are a Mickey mouse. This will distract you. And will help to bring your attention back. I also listen to my favorite positive music and dance the way I want. Also be positive and do not give up! You can do it. There is a book on line which has all this information. I can give you the link, but I think it costs 40$. You do not have to buy it. I can give you more details if you want for free with no prob. You also can go to and read a free book there. If you already did it than good. You can do it!
November 03, 2009
Heyy. Im 13.. and in the 8th grade, i have had CSP since about 3 or 4. i would just pick and pick. it went on and on. my parents would tell me to stop, i would tell myself to stop but at the time when i was doing this i wouldn't. it just kept happening. i honestly hated myself for it. i thought i would never stop, but my parents sent me to counseling when i was in 3rd grade! i was in counseling for about 2 1/2 years. it was one of the hardest things ever.. every saturday morning going to the doctor. i hated it. i never wanted to go! it was the worst thing, but i have to say it definitely changed my life. i do not pick as much anymore. i still have my days, kinda like i break out i will get 5 or 6 scabs then pick and pick and pick until i realize i don't want to ruin my skin anymore and i don't want to look like that again! i would refuse to wear shorts and short sleeve shirts for the longest time. i have not wore shorts since 2nd grade until this year i had the guts to finally wear a pair of shorts to school. now i just try and be confident with my body. i am in a relationship right now, actually i told my boyfriend about this yesterday, i have never told a boyfriend about my problem before. he was acting a little weird today, but i hope he realizes that i'm still the same me. i think he is just shocked right now. it is hard to get over but i know that if i can do it so can you. just believe in yourself and be confident in yourself.
November 04, 2009

In reply to by Carissa

My husband was also shocked when I told him that I have a picking problem. He was like "I married a weirdo?!" But since then he kind of digested the information and now he supports me and understands me. Which helps a lot to quit. I feel more confident by just being myself and not hiding. Just believe in yourself!
November 08, 2009
Hello. I am 20 year old female, and I think the thing I really noticed in your post is that you mentioned your boyfriend a lot. It reminded me of myself because for as long as I remember I have based my happiness on others, specifically, pleasing my boyfriend...making sure I am beautiful for him. Well, I may be over-analyzing things, but this is what i got out of this. If you ever need anybody to talk to, I am here!

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