So I have a problem.
I guess it all began when I was a kid. I picked my nose until in got infected and I developed scar tissue. I started doing that because I felt like I couldn't breath. It got so bad and I was so embarrassed that I finally stopped.
Then I developed a nail biting habit: Now much better than nose picking but still not great, when I reached about 16 I stopped.
My whole life I have had bumpy skin, it's called keratosis pilaris and it was around this time that I realized that I could pick at these little bumps. I've always wanted smooth skin like everyone else and somehow picking at these bumps makes me feel like I will make my skin smooth. So it's been 14 years now and my picking is only getting worst. I need to stop.
You see the thing is I didn't even realize that I had a problem not really until about a year ago and I have tried to trick myself into stopping by using cream on my skin when I feel the urge or eating or keeping my hands busy but nothing is working. It's a compulsion and I do it now all the time. It's affecting all areas of my life. I'm embarrassed to show people my arms, shoulders and chest, I'm scared strangers will think I'm a junky or something because I have all these legions. I don't want to do this, I know it only makes my skin worst.
I need to stop.
I'm beginning to realize that this is a deeper issue I just don't know what is at the core.
I need help.
Thank you for reading. J