Hi everybody! I can't believe I found this site. I never really realized I had a true problem up until a few days ago, and well its so relieving to here that there are actually others out there like me. When I was in my early teens, I had beautiful, clear skin that many of my friends were envious us. It wasn't until my whole life turned upside down, and I moved to a very strange, isolated place, lost all my friends and everything I knew, and started to suffer major loneliness and depression. My skin started breaking out (due to stress I assume) and that's when the picking began. This is when I was 16. I am now 20. My picking has been on and off for that time period. When I am really happy, my skin is wonderful and clear! Even when I have my period (and I tend to break out) it isn't so bad because I am not picking. But when I am sad, oh my, you do not want to see my face! I have become the master of applying makeup (which I wish I didn't have to wear!) Even tonight, I started to feel a little lonely, and depressed, and guess what? I went to the mirror and started making things worse!! But I stopped myself. I told myself, I can't destroy my face any longer...
It makes you so depressed. I cannot tell you how I manage to have a job and go to college. It's hard. Sometimes you will avoid an event you really wanted to go to just so others do not have to see what you have done to your face!
When I pick, it's like I can stop. Just one more...I will think. But as we all know, it's never just one more! And the truth it, you look for things. Things that are so small. Things that nobody could ever see!
But the truth is, I am so happy to find others like me. I would love to make some friends on this post, just so we can support each other. Kind of like they do in AA. We all have to realize, it is in a sense an addiction. As I was reading earlier, it releases endorphines and that is why we feel that sense of relief when we pick!
I have realized for quite sometime now that my skin picking is really a symptom of some much bigger issues that I suffer. I think this includes anxiety, depression, both of which run in my family.
At the same time, I do believe everything happens for a reason. I think that everything I have experienced so far in my life has made me a more compassionate person...and my major goal in life is to help others! So, first I need to help myself. I think I truly have been in a sea of ignorance and denial up until this point!
So, thanks for listening to me, and I'd love to know what you all think. Just writing this makes me feel a little better...