im new here and i need help.

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November 26, 2009

I bet a lot of folks on this site feel the same way. I certainly know what you mean about family not understanding. As a teenager (I'm 32 now), my sister used to come into the bathroom where I'd be picking and make fun of me. In fact, they all made fun and didn't understand. That, of course, really only makes the picking worse because it makes you feel worse. That's awesome that you are so aware of this at 19 and wanting to get some help/support. I hope you find more help on this site.

November 28, 2009

This forum seems a bit fragmented--so I'm pasting in a comment I made elsewhere. Sorry about the run-on nature of it, but the paragraph breaks I put in just go away when I submit it. I just discovered this website, and I'm reading the posts with interest. I'm a male in my 60s. I have psoriasis, and peel and eat the scabs and plaques that form on my patches. I apply medication (but not very religiously) and get UVB light treatments, but the scratching and peeling off of the plaques inhibits the therapy. A day or two ago, I did a search and discovered a great quote that I had pasted up in my room over 40 years ago, when I was in my 20s. I was hospitalized then for severe anemia secondary to a stomach ulcer. No matter what the contemporary medical wisdom is about ulcers, I think stress is a major factor, and I was a bundle of nerves and very insecure when I was in my 20s. The same kind of stress that causes ulcers could also cause this skin-picking-and-eating behavior. So here's the quote: ‘An ulcer, gentlemen, is an unkissed imagination taking its revenge for having been jilted. It is an unwritten poem, an undanced dance, an unpainted watercolor. It is a declaration from the mankind of the man that a clear spring of joy has not been tapped and that it must break through muddily, on its own.' (quote from John Ciardi, American poet, addressing a group of powerful businessmen) I used to be a musician, but quit out of frustration and due to financial problems, and due to lack of time for maintaining my skills. I played jazz in nightclubs, festivals, concerts, etc., and also wrote a few film scores. But there is almost no work in today's modern world, except for a tiny highly skilled elite group: I drive a cab to pay the bills (and attempt to pay down my debts). I also used to write chamber music for classically trained musicians, and my music was performed often while I was studying music in various universities. Over the years, however, my music skills have generally not been a good contributor toward paying the bills. I guess what I'm thinking is that if you keep yourself busy enough with meaningful pursuits, you won't scratch and eat. In my case, if a saxophone is in my mouth and both hands are busy playing it, I can't do this stuff to my body. If I'm composing music, even something no one will hear or care much about, perhaps this will distract me from this rotten habit and provide a much better outlet for what is churning inside of me. Probably some exercise would help as well. I'm doing some self-therapy here, but I hope my thoughts will aid others. And I will look forward to hearing others' reactions to what I have said here. (Maybe we could re-word the quote above as follows: "‘A skin-picking-and-eating habit, gentlemen, is an unkissed imagination taking its revenge . . . etc")