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azure , 29 Nov 2009

My forty-day plan....WHO'S WITH ME?!

Hey people! Okay, I've heard that in order to beat a bad habit, you have to NOT do that bad habit for forty days. Once you have successfully been habit-free for forty days (AND NO CHEATING), then the habit has been beaten. Hooray. And if you cheat, then you have to start all over again. It's supposed to be forty consecutive days. Okay.... So, I'm going to try to stop picking at my face and any other body part. I already cheated a bit, so today is DAY ONE. However, I'm happy to say that even though I did cheat a little bit, I did not go all out like I usually do. It's been three days. BUT, I did cheat, I acknowledge that, so today is officially DAY ONE. Would anyone like to join me? This is what I'm doing: I always pick in front of a mirror. So, now I spend as little time in the bathroom as possible. If I look in the mirror, I run out of the bathroom. But let's say I need to put make-up on (my make-up is in there anyway)...I open the door to the bathroom and then proceed to apply my make-up. My parents' bedroom is right across from the bathroom, and they have started to count how many minutes I'm in the bathroom. And this is a good thing! Moral support really helps even though it's technically an invasion of privacy! .....but now I'm worried that I'll develop a fear of mirrors.....so I look in the mirror a little bit everyday and spend a bit more time (like a few seconds, no need to stand right in front of it for a long time if I'm trying to beat this thing) in front of it everyday. I want to beat this thing, I want my life back and I want my face back. I could use the moral support and everyone's welcome to join me! Post your forty days here! Yeah, there's a huge chance that it's not going to work....but smokers have done the forty days too! This is also an addiction, and I'm sixteen years old. I've got my whole life to look forward to and I will beat this thing somehow. Starting right now. Let's see how I do for DAY ONE. WHO IS WITH ME?
162 Answers
wildflower
March 08, 2010

In reply to by 40daysfromnow

i'm so sorry to hear you lost it for a bit but am very pleased to hear you are determined to go for 40. great attitude. after a setback you're only stronger. if you made it 10 days you can go longer. power to you and all the best !! keep posting :)
wildflower
March 08, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

DAY 12 now !! and yes, there are still urges :( two spots on my face are really taking their time to heal. i see a nucleus in each that i would normally pick at until removed believing that it won't heal until gone and i do truly believe that's why they're so slow in healing and it's driving me nuts. know what i mean ?? it's amazing i haven't made war with them. each night i hope that with washcloth exfoliation they'll release the culprits but no luck so far and then i bandage up for the night and in the morning put makeup on them after washing. i'm still imploring the "no fingernails" and "no tools" and "no scratching" rules but am allowing "featherlight backwards scratching" and "gentle rubbing/massaging" to areas that are itching. and lots of self talk.
ocdFreak
March 09, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

wow day 12 - day 40 is a lot closer now! then hopefully by then the urges will have subsided a lot more... and yeah the no fingernails or tools rule is a super one! that's how i do it. dry skin is either picked off with my fingernails, or i use fingernail clippers. not a great idea as both of those things cause damage a whole lot quicker.. since my birthday, i haven't really picked. the stress of midterms is gone and so it should be easier to stop. saturday = day1, sun=2, woa--that would make today day 3!! lets see if i can make it til friday. wow i'm so proud of you for making it 12 days! i have never even met you in person but still when i read that i felt very proud of you! keep up the great work!
wildflower
March 09, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

and i feel proud that you are making good progress. each day is a new success as is each hour within each day! it is definitely tough. even at the TWO WEEK mark. my hands still roam. i still need to talk to myself. i sit on my hands watching tv. i took one of my bandages off on my face when i skyped with a friend and absentmindedly scratched it. i didn't make it bleed. i didn't go back at it. i haven't gone after any of the new bumps that are begging for it. i immediately put a bandage back on it after the communication and i am not considering it a failure of my objective. i did not pick or make war with my skin. it is a clear reminder that even at this stage of the game, the effort is not over. habits are difficult indeed to break. again, congrats and best wishes for continued success !! :)
ocdFreak
March 10, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

two weeks?!?!?! wow i'm reading a miracle story right now!! two weeks boy oh boy - well you are my inspiration now. i have virtually met someone that is proving that it is possible after all. wow x 10! And no doubt the urges are definitely trying to get to me. but, i want to heal. i have to! and you know, if you are still having urges at two weeks that doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you - that's why we are trying to reach 40 days because THAT is when the urges supposedly will stop. (p.s. when you get there, i'd really like to know if that's true or not) Also, i heard somewhere else that it takes 20 days to break a habit. 40 sounds more legit. well, today was day 4 for me. this sucks. that's all i can say at this point about the urges, other than that, i wish i'd heal faster...
wildflower
March 10, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

4 days is great too!! congratulations! you can do it. keep with it. what is your regimen to help with the healing? many of my spots are still pink but healed over. rather than scratch myself now i massage or just give a gentle rub, loving touches. :)
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

massage is good. my problems are mainly my hands and fingers. basically, i know that moisture and circulation are key factors in healing. i try to use lotion that isn't filled with alcohol - perfume isn't really really my priority, that'll make them smell good yet dry out faster.. green tea lotion is good or cocoa butter, gold bond for extra dry skin is good too. i spent last summer in korea and the humidity there was great - they were literally healed, completely, by the time i came back here. i should have kept them that way. but i'm working on it.. i keep them clean, lotion up after i wash and put gloves on before i go to bed (or earlier to fight urges) and sometimes i rub them to get for a minute to generate heat and get the blood flowing. the more heat and moisture, the faster they heal (also, heat causes atomic particles to move faster, so those in the skin and blood will be affected). all i have to do now is not touch them! day 5 though...this is hard actually. i must focus on other things..
wildflower
March 11, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

have you tried putting bandages on overnight? sores heal so so so so much faster. it's like they're in that warm climate. the body heat and moisture not escaping must be what helps. it also keeps fingers from disturbing the healing process. and if i don't leave my home i'll keep my bandages on for a full day and a second night and that really really helps them heal. that's great that you're on day 5 !!! woooo hoooo. way to go!
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

Bandages...no I actually haven't tried that. that sounds like a great idea though, i will try them. and yep, day 5 :D Wow this is so great! i remember when i was just so sick of feeling depressed over this and decided to look it up over the internet and found this site. making my first post was SOO awkward because NO ONE could know that i actually do this to myself - i've never met anyone else who did it. it's so amazing that i have actually come so far after making that first post. i mean, i know i'm only on day 5, but we're talking about it so openly! discussing ways to quit, ways to heal, and i don't feel awkward and alone anymore. there are other people that do this and we're trying to stop to together with mutual support! lol i'm just feeling really thankful right now all of a sudden. i have to say, even though i haven't met anyone on this site in person, i feel like quitting isn't so hard and scary when i have other people with a similar problem to talk to about it. thanks!!! wow my posts are always so long...
wildflower
April 04, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

DAY 40 is today !! i made it !! when i didn't think i would make it one hour let alone one day it turned into a week and now 40 days !!! this is huge. better than 23 years of serious picking and many medications, numerous dermatologists, boat loads of ointments and lotions, numerous pitiful attempts and what did it? fear, research, information, a plan, determination, and commitment. i got serious. i finally figured out no one else was going to do this for me, that i had to do it and i did. i got inspiration here and some kindly support and that certainly helped bunches and i am grateful for it all and wish it all for each of you! <3 <3 <3
wildflower
March 11, 2010
today is DAY 16 !! and i have scratched an itch in my ear and made something in my ear bleed. i have applied ointment and petroleum jelly on it to keep my fingers away from it. and also, a spot at the corner of my mouth, very similar to a cold sore, is not healing. it is the only sore i bandage now at night (down from over 20 sores over 2 weeks ago) and it keeps weeping after being washed at the end of the day. not bleeding, weeping. :( being beside my mouth i really don't want to wear a bandage on it during the day out in the world and i know if it were bandaged for 48 hours or so it would heal. what i want to know, though, is .... did my unconsciously scratching what was in my ear and my nightly disturbing my slow to heal spot near my mouth constitute that i have ruined my success? is that picking? or how serious does picking have to be to be considered picking and requiring starting over in this challenge?
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

Well, hmmm. The ear did bleed, but was that due to pressure or eventual blood after a long scratching session? How long did you scratch it for? sometimes just one hard scratch will do it and that isn't great, but it's still only one time really so as long as it doesn't happen many more times, your success is still in progress. and nightly disturbing the spot by your mouth? are you meaning that you scratch it nightly? that could keep the urges going if you give into it. i'd say put neosporin on it or something and try not touching it for the next week. i mean, you've come a REALLY long way. bandaging one sore, down from over 20 sores over 2 weeks ago - obviously you're making magnanimous TONS of progress. so just keep going, but REALLY leave those sores alone. because if you give in to any kind of picking activity, when day 40 comes around, you won't be completely healed. and that's not what we want ya know? this is pretty challenging stuff, but when day 40 comes around for me, i want to feel nonchalant about picking in general, not like i am now. it's hard now but in the end it will be well worth it.
wildflower
March 11, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

i am not intentionally and technically picking at either. the sore by my mouth is "disturbed" by my cleaning it with my washcloth. that's why i feel it should be bandaged for at least 48 hrs. the ear was scratched subconsciously, not intentionally, and it was an instance, not a period of time. and now it is as dressed with ointment and petroleum jelly as i can to not allow myself to "accidentally" disturb it again. my bad? start over? or my ok and on to day 17?
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

the fact that it wasn't intentional is great. it's that whole process of 'zoning out' and knowing or telling yourself to stop, simultaneously while you're doing it, and just *not* being able to stop despite almost verbally telling yourself to. that seems to be where the most damage occurs according to most of the posts on this site (including my own). and the washcloth is disturbing it during the cleaning process...ok - i thought you were scratching/ maybe picking at it a bit. since that's the case, if you're not actually succumbing to a picking/scratching urge, then there's no reason to start over really. it's the urges of the general habit that we're trying to get rid of, so as long you don't succumb to them (and try to control those subconscious ones, your fingers have a sort of 'kinesthetic memory' to this habit, they're used to this). So, it doesn't seem like you've lost control or anything. i say onto day 17.
wildflower
March 11, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

*whew* !! thank you thank you thank you! i hope that if others are reading this they will agree. i don't feel like i've blown it, but wanted to be truthful about what's happened and happening. and i don't want a false win. i intend that should i make it to day 20 my skin will be healed. a weekend is coming up. i should be able to have a bandage day as i call it and should make some headway. :)
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

Wow day 20 is coming! that's really something! you're making headlines right now! and i don't see why others wouldn't agree; if you're not giving into urges, then you're not really messing up. but that's really good too that you're trying to be truthful and upfront about the whole ordeal. i mean, we all want to make it to day 40, but by then, if we've cheated, then we're still not really healed. then 40 days wouldn't really mean that much. for me, just getting to day 5 is a challenge in itself! but i'm gonna push it as far as i can. i'm comin!
wildflower
March 11, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

there's still days 17, 18, and 19 before 20! and that's one hour at a time, still. i do still have urges but divert my attention to rubbing or massaging or moisturizing or sitting on my hands or typing lol. do keep pushing for day 5. and day 6. and day 7. you can do it. we both can. we all can if we encourage each other like this! finding this place has contributed so much to my success i believe. and this kind of support is great.
ocdFreak
March 11, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

For sure! I've been at it since my birthday last saturday now. i even have the elastic around my wrist to snap myself if think about picking. actually, i had never tried that before - today was the first time and it was actually more effective than i thought it would be. but i couldn't agree more! getting through this alone was.. well obviously it was almost impossible or else i wouldn't have had to search for a site like this! it's helped SOO much!
wildflower
March 11, 2010

In reply to by ocdFreak

i never made it a full day without picking before finding this site. and i was getting near wits' end which had me searching and searching for so many ways and means to help me along. everything that i was finding and including in my repertoire for getting healthy was putting me closer but finding this site with its information and so many individuals in the same boat was empowering to say the least. i felt so alone and misunderstood.
wildflower
March 16, 2010
THREE WEEKS TODAY !! ... woooo hoooo .... i'm not saying i'll never pick again, but if i've made it this long, i know it will only be a setback if i succumb to an urge. not that i intend to succumb, just that i know if i can go this long once, i will be able to do it again. i do mean to make it though, first by making it to 22 days, then 23, and so on to 40 and be one of this challenge's success stories. i still have urges but they're diminishing. my fingers still explore but they're not intent on making war anymore. i'm being much kinder to myself and am feeling very good about it. only one sore is being resistant to healing but is very close, the rest have all healed to minor red spots that are getting smaller and hopefully will fade completely in time. i have gone out in the world without makeup for the first time in years and years. i have not slept with bandages all over my body for some time now. it feels great. i wish for the same success for each and every one of you. do whatever it takes to get yourself beyond one day of being good, kind, and loving to yourself and then get beyond day two and more. if i can do it after as many years as i have been suffering with this insidious compulsion, so can you !! best wishes to each of you !!

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