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Delta , 17 Jan 2010

worried about mental health

Delta is not my real name it's actually just because my name begins with D and delta is for D in the phonetic alphabet which goes to show my shame on this subject I have always picked at scabs and even more embarrasingly so my nose as long as I can remember maybe going to back to when i was even 3-5 I am now eighteen (and a female). I have scars all over my body although since i was lucky enough to not suffer with ackney, never my face. I also suffer from nosebleeds but only ever from one of my nostrals and usually in the winter. Every scab i have ever had i have picked at it until it could literally no longer be picked sometimes i don't even realise i am doing it, i seem to go in to a sort of trance and only ever come from it when it starts to hurt. I also have picked several moles on my arm away. I have always thought i was just a kid, people and kids pick at scabs and such but when my boyfriend (who i later dumped) and some collegues asked about these scars i decided to maybe look it up on the net and found this and several other information sites about the problem. I am now a bit worried about my mental health and i am wondering what underlying mental problems this could be a sympton off. I am more worried because i don't suffer from anythign that i have found to be a usual sympton of this like low self esteem or abuse. Like on paper my family is perfect but i don't even really know them and i love them but visiting is just going through the motions, same with my boyfriend who i have ended up spliting up simply because i was bored with pretending. I don't think my image is particularly ugly or fat i am just simply average. I don't have OCD i don't feel the need to do anything else compulsivly like tidy or wash my hands. I have friends who i am close with but as they're all at uni i don't get to see them very much and yet i don't miss them. I spend a lot of time on the computer watching shows (normally sci-fi or supernatural) and also on forum sites playing games, using photoshop and writing scripts. Infact i probably lied earlier i am not even really worried i am more curious as to what this could mean. I know i am not normal as being in my head is like being very detatched and i often wonder if people think how i do....the best way to describe it is if any of you have seen dexter that's pretty much how i think. I don't get people and many of their emotions or habbits. I don't understand why people get upset over cheating when it's a primal urge, i don't ever feel lust after anyone, i never care if people talk about me behind my back and i think funerals are a waste of money. Not what most people would deem to be normal thoughts. I'm not emocionless by any means. I do get upset and i do feel happy, i would do anything for my friends and i have cared for over 160 birds from chicks and would never wish harm on anyone. please does anyone feel the same? what could be wrong with me?
2 Answers
January 22, 2010
Dear Delta, I had to respond, because your post sounded familiar to me. I have a cousin with traits so similar to those you describe. She is 17 now, and was just diagnosed with an attachment disorder this past year. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but she just doesn't connect quite the same way socially as most, and she describes feeling bland much as you do. I wondered that you mention the birds- my cousin's mother was an animal hoarder. Because of that, my cousin grew up caring for many, many creatures (especially cats), but she also suffered many, many lost pets, too (and recently, though after the diagnosis, the loss of both her parents). I always felt this might have contributed to her social detachment. It may be something for you to explore more deeply within yourself, anyway. Just a thought to let you know you are not alone out there in your struggles. I think you are on the right track, asking yourself questions at this point. Although you may not feel terribly bothered by your emotional state, wouldn't it be nice for you to discover more, and potentially unearth a whole new dimension to your life that might give you fulfillment you didn't even know could be had... Best wishes to you, Delta.
January 28, 2010

In reply to by Becky77

Thank you so much for your response and sharing the information about your counsin. I was begining to wonder if i was on my own with this particular problem as no-one had replied in a while. Now i can put a possible name to the problem and i know a professional could potentially help me. I feel a little safer in maybe doing some reserch and approaching the NHS for help. Thanks again.

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