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crystal , 18 Mar 2008

Why do we need to do it? Why can't we stop?

When I feel or see, even the slightest imperfection I have to pick it! No matter what! The other day I felt the tiniest little thing on my forehead right before I went to work, all day at work I was thinking about it, touching it, acting like I had to use the restroom just so I could see it in the mirror. I couldn't concentrate on work, and I couldn't take my mind off it! I finally just caved into the urge and picked at work, and tried to hide my face the rest of the day. To make matters worse, once I start I cant stop. By the time I am done I look like someone else, and feel completely disappointed, confused and beat up. I have graduated from just picking on my legs, to arms and legs and now for the past few years, my face. Its crippling and I have completely lost all self control. Humiliation has erased any remnants of a social life. Last week my husband took a tablecloth and taped it over the bathroom mirror and threw out every other mirror in the house. That has stopped me somewhat but when there is a will there is a way, right? I found this discussion board today, so maybe this is the beginning of my healing process? What I would really like to know is once I get that urge, how do distract myself from following thru?
3 Answers
March 19, 2008
Skin picking realy does feel like it ruins your life. I try to stop but always feel an urge to pick. I have read some of the comments on here and it is so strange but comforting to know someone else is going through the same things I am. My husband always says he wants to throw away my little mirrors and cover up the big ones in the house, and I saw another post with the same thing written! I guess it just goes to show you that it is a trigger in the mind gone haywire that happens to alot of people that drives them to pick. I am tired of making exscuses why I can't go do things so I can hide my picking from people. I can't work because of picking and my social life is lacking now. I feel it controls my life and Hate having this skin picking disorder. Now I just want to get better but it is so hard. I feel like picking at my skin is a drug and I am addicted. I feel sad after I pick but continue to do it? I am going to try starting today to be sober from picking....We will see how it goes! So to all the other pickers out there I wish you the best luck to get better!
March 30, 2008
Yes this is like a curse but we must live with it. I get an urge to pick when I feel my skin or when I'm near a mirror, so I try to stay clear of them when I can. Lately though I've been controlling it better by cutting my nails so when I try to pick I can remember why I cut them in the first place. It works well, but you have to check how long your nails are in the mornings. Hope this helps you. -Biscuit
April 07, 2008
I am in the exact position as you, my dear! I was doing sooooo good last week with not picking (my face at least), and I went to an isolated bathroom at work... and just looked at a few little blackheads on my nose... and then 10 minutes seemed to disappear, and I was left with a miserable, swollen, pink, splotchy face to hide for the rest of the day at work... and hun I know how embarassing and shameful that feels. It's good that your husband clearly loves you and wants to help you, right? My fiance is trying sooo hard to help me with this now, he's known about this problem of mine for maybe 3 or 4 years, and he's seen me try ALL different types of behavioural therapy and seen mee miserably fail them all after just days. BUT... I think we're on to something good! Maybe it will help your situation... When I found this website last week, I had him read through it all, and some posts, and it helped him understand that this isn't just an annoying habit of mine, that so many of us exist and how it is so debilitating for us. Maybe your husband can gain some insight to your mind from reading this. So the plan my fiance came up with for me is that each morning we go to the bathroom mirror, and I point out to him any "imperfections" I see on mine and his faces, and explain which ones I'd pick and why. It's really good because OUR thoughts are so distorted from reality when it comes to our skin, so my fiance will tell me that all those little things I see he can't even see them, and that there is nothing to worry about on my skin today. So, it basically gives my mind the permission it strangly needs to not think about picking, and each time I start examining my skin during the day, I just remind myself that he said it'd all be ok today, and then I actually stop thinking about it. Then before bed, we take another quick look in the mirror together, and we notice that all those damn little things I wanted to pick turned into absolutely nothing, and such ugly things would have happened if I picked. So we do this every morning and night so far, and I feel SO FREE. It's a really great feeling. Even right now, I don't feel like picking, b/c I know there actually isn't anything to pick, and if there is, it'll do fine on it's own, healing as it should. But otherwise (and sorry this is so long-winded!), once I get that urge, I keep the bathroom door (to the only mirror in my house) shut, just to keep me out, and I need to do something NOT boring. So if I'm really moody or anxious, I'll take a nap since I always feel more relaxed after. Or turn on some music that you just can't sit still to and dance while you clean the house or something like that. Especially motivational music. I've found some amazing artists that seem to sing the perfect words for me right now, let me know if you want to know who they are. Also, maybe plan a 'date night' every week with your husband. We have one planned for friday, and it gives me something to look forward to, and I keep reminding myself that if I don't pick, I'll feel beautiful, he'll be proud of me, and it'll be really good encouragement for me to keep building good habits and behaviours, you know? Well hope some of these help! Rosie

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