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Green , 16 Feb 2010

Need to stop... now.

Hello, I'm new here. I've had a problem with skin picking since I was 6 years old... I remember the very first time. I was overwhelmed with school and felt very anxious. I've had other problems in my life, had a turbulent childhood and home life, lots of trauma and stress... picking greatly eased my inner turmoil; it was something ELSE I could focus on. I'm deeply, deeply ashamed of it and have only kinda sorta told some people. It was primarily focused on my upper arms and shoulders... I have lots of tiny little scars there now. I'm 24 now. SOMEHOW I found the resolve to stop it... for a while. I got over so many of my other problems and was determined to stop, and I did. It was at least a year, maybe 2 that I didn't or very rarely did. Then I had stress with my job, my significant other... and it started in full force again. It migrated in my attempt to not pick at my ARMS (now it's my lower back, neck, jaw, and face... which is SOOOO much worse!!!). I'd sit in front of a mirror telling myself to stop... tell myself "this will be the last time" blah blah blah... and it's been a whole year of this and it's gotten out of control. So here I am, trying to find that resolve again and stop for good. I don't want to destroy my face, and I have to stop now before I do even more damage. I hope that maybe talking about it here, putting my determination out there into words might help me a little.
2 Answers
February 16, 2010
Props on quitting for a year! I can't even make it through a day without picking something. I used to pick my legs and couldn't wear skirts/shorts/dresses...etc so I white knuckled it to stop then I started picking my arms. Its a disaster! I started wearing makeup to cover my pick marks on my face but it backfired because now i think I can pick more then just cover it up. I'm with you...Need To Stop NOW! Though I have picked for as long as I can remember it is the worst it has ever been right now. I know that in order to change a negative behavior one must reach a bottom of sorts...well I just don't see how it could get any worse and I don't seem to be willing to change anything. Am I nearing a bottom? I don't know. I'm hoping that talking about it on this forum will help.
February 16, 2010

In reply to by ready2Bdone

Thanks. When it was just my arms I think it was easier to stop... (though my picking STARTED to migrate in my first attempts). I feel like I have to be conscious of my hands at ALL times, make sure they aren't wandering anywhere! I'm not sure if you have to reach rock bottom before you can quit... when I did before it was even probably gradual--I didn't even know what it was then, had absolutely no plan or anything. It was severe enough to have left me with hundreds of scars, and I went years with people asking me "what was wrong" with my arms, or thinking I was on drugs. It was horrible, and I stopped wearing short sleeved shirts. I suppose I hit rock bottom in other parts of my life... in an overall sense, and then turned around. When I did I decided to stop picking (and stop being self-destructive in other ways too). I think it helped that I was changing all around, and this was just one part. I was working on getting over social anxiety etc. and that was definitely a big trigger of my picking. I had some psychotherapy BEFORE this, but I wasn't willing to change at that point... I only took his advice after I stopped seeing him. Anyway... good luck to you, and I hope you can find a reason to be willing to change.

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