We have a problem. With each of us it might differ as to where or what we pick, scratch, rip or pluck or whatever self defeating, self harming, injurious behaviour that we employ. We each have deep seated reasons for what we do, be it any one of a number of experiences from an abusive upbringing, abusive relationships, traumatic experiences, stressful environments, stressful times, or any such negative, life-sucking, history we’ve endured. We have turned to hurting ourselves to cope and deal with all that. Perhaps even so that we don’t turn to harming others! Who knows? But that doesn’t make it right. It’s not the healthy choice. It’s not the intelligent choice. And as intelligent people we must realize that no one else, no doctor, no therapist, no dermatologist, no psychologist, or no hypnotist can make us change our behaviours. Only we can. It’s great that this place offers a place to share the extent of our behaviours. It’s great that this place offers a wealth of information about our disorder. It’s great that we can encourage each other here. But what we must realize is, it is our own responsibility to READ the wealth of information here and to CHOOSE A COURSE OF ACTION, not just ask for help expecting it to come from an external source. The information is here. Sure, share your experiences, share what might have caused it, but from the information offered, choose what you CAN and WILL do for yourself and COMMIT to doing it. That is what it is going to take. However long it has been going on in your life, it has gone on too long. The fact that you have come here investigating your self inflicted harmful behaviours is indication that it is time to MAKE CHANGE. Again, CHOOSE some of the solutions others have had success with and SHARE your course of action publicly here and COMMIT to it. That’s the kind of self help group this can be for each of us. Alcoholics have AA. Gamblers have GA, addicts have NA, and so on. The success of those groups is the commitment to them and the accountability encouraged. We have this place and must make choices for OURSELVES and not expect others to make choices for us. We must commit to stick with whatever program of choice we choose for ourselves. Our successes will be our own. And we can be each others’ cheer leaders. Let’s not let our pasts define us. Let’s let our present efforts make us healthier individuals. Let’s tackle our problems head on and stop the self harming behaviours and do this regardless of the hardships that life is dealing us with. We don’t need to make things worse for ourselves. Life will always have stresses and there will always be things to be anxious about but we can CHOOSE how to treat ourselves and treat ourselves right. When our problems lie with others, especially dependants such as children, we must remember not to do more harm. We must help them with their issues and the underlying causes. We must provide encouragement, not blame or shame. We must be compassionate, concerned. We must assist however possible with providing an environment conducive for healing. We must seek help and support when we feel overwhelmed, not take it out on them. Again, we have a problem and need to be working lovingly toward a solution. Read, research, choose a course of action, share, commit, and support. That’s what it will ultimately take. IT IS POSSIBLE !