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homesweethome , 16 Mar 2010

this is all new to me...would love to hear any suggestions

My 14 year old daughter is picking her skin so bad I just wonder will the scars ever go away, are there any creams or medications that help. She says she just can't stop, and I feel so sad and helpless. She started with a few pimples and then went onto her legs. I was truly shocked and saddened. How could this happen to "my daughter"? I welcome any input you may have to offer.
3 Answers
March 17, 2010
your daughter's scars may or may not fade depending upon how serious they are and if she keeps injuring the skin around them. she needs to be willing to learn about this disorder and understand what needs to be done about it. reading others' stories here might help her with that. perhaps you can read through these posts with her and help her understand she is not alone with the condition. there are a lot of tips within the posts about what she can be doing for herself. it is ultimately up to her what happens to her skin. it just needs basic care and not to be injured. there are no magic creams or cures. she needs to address what compels her to do this and to decide to take action to stop the behaviours which she allows to occur. if she needs professional help to encourage her along then that should be sought. but it rests with her to choose what she does and she must realize that. it is too easily thought that someone or something else can fix it but it is only ones self that can do it. such a realization comes with maturity and teens too often will not accept responsibility for their actions. until she comes to realize that her effort has to come from within herself, you can only love her and encourage her in the right direction of learning about it all and making healthy decisions about what she eats and how she takes care of herself. love her and support her through it. be her champion.
March 19, 2010
Please understand first of all that this a disorder just like......any other obsesive compulsive disorder......Don't slap her hand when she picks, don't moan at her.....this is what bothers me of everyone else and it causes more stress which might make it worse.....just be suportive and get her some help....wether it's by joining this forum or seeing a pro or a doc. Like any other ocd it can be controlled, but it needs to be her decision, not yours, all you can do is help to give her the tools!!!
March 23, 2010
Dear Homesweethome, I just signed up to this forum, but picking has been with me since I was thirteen. I'm eighteen now, and your post stood out to me, it reminded me of the beginnings of this ridiculously shameful disorder, disease, whatever you want to call it. I can't say I've stopped picking, the struggle continues today, but its no where near what it used to be. When I was your daughter's age, I literally was putting holes in my face and I feel lucky that I have not developed skin cancer of any kind. Make up became my only hope to face the world and still is, but I have gotten better. Some things that help, keeping the lights off as you wash up for bed. I always got to picking really bad as I was washing up and getting ready for bed. Sometimes, I just completely covered the mirrors with random favorite quotes so I couldn't see myself. Since your daughter picks all over, maybe she should sleep with gloves on. You can't monitor her 24/7, but you probably do what you can, which means she's probably doing this in bed. By wearing gloves, she has to go through the extra step of taking them off before she picks, this might buy her a few moments to rethink her urge to pick. And no, do not sigh when you've noticed she has picked. The thing that killed me everyday, was when my mother stopped me while I was talking, stared at my face for a good moment and asked me if I had been picking. When I did have the balls to say yes, she would give me that sigh, ohhhhh, it killed me. Trust me, your daughter feels bad enough, the sigh will defintely diminish any optimism left in her at that point. Now, in my case, my mother was abusive, and picking was my way of feeling better. I don't know you and I defintely do not want to offend, but make sure you examine yourself, or others living with you and your daughter, there may be a link. Abuse doesn't have to be physical. But perhaps that is not the case with you and your daughter and in that case, this is how you should react when you've noticed she's picked: don't even ask the question, just hug her, and as you hold her, tell her you love her, tell her she's beautiful, tell her that she's gonna get through this together. If I had had just that as I was growing up, I think the improvement would have been much faster, and the hardship would've been much less. Don't ever give up on her, this road is long, and for some, never ending, but even after five years of this, I refuse to give up, so don't give up.

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