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pitbull_grl , 24 Mar 2010


Hi everyone- About 2 years ago, I was finally formally diagnosed with Chronic PTSD. During that same period of time, I began self injury acts and suffered from anorexia. My PTSD was always there since childhood but I had repressed it until 2 years ago when a particular incident triggered it and EVERYTHING came straight up to the surface so I had no choice but to finally deal with it. I landed in the hospital for a week and then went on to a 10 week intense DBT program, was put on medications, went to EMDR therapy, got a therapist and a phsychiatrist. All has been well and I stopped going to my therapist many months ago. Well, about 2 months ago, I began picking my face badly. I didn't even realize I was doing it until my husband kept hounding me to stop picking because he noticed that I was in the bathroom for long periods of time and he then saw all of the damage to my face the next morning. I do not have acne but I compulsively pick so bad that now my sores, scabs and red patches are painful. I think one of them is infected. I'm not sure though because this is all new to me. My face is an absolute mess. I'm embarassed but I can't seem to stop. This might be too much info but more recently I've been creating sores on my butt and picking those. I guess because it's a spot that my husband is less likely to notice and it's easier to hide than on my face. So lastnight, I finally searched on skin picking and found the name for it and found this website. After reading and learning that it is an actual disorder and how it may be linked to body dysmorphic disorder, anorexia and is a form of self harm, it all made sense to me. I then was able to identify when I began picking and figured out what triggered this new behavior. I'm so embarrased and I am afraid to let this keep going. I guess I have a lot of reading to do to see what works for others. I'm not really sure where to start. This is the first time that I'm even sharing this problem with anyone. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
1 Answer
March 24, 2010
It's kinda funny that I'm posting to my original post - but I've been trying to make myself aware of my picking and I noticed something very interesting about myself this evening. I worked from home today so I had plenty oppertunities to pick but I did really good. I went into my bathroom this morning to wash my face and pick away the edges of my sores and I was able to leave my face alone all day long. When my husband came home, I did not realize it - I was picking. I had no idea I was doing it - almost like I was in another zone - until he told me to stop picking then I noticed that I was literally digging my skin badly and ran upstairs to my bathroom to dig, pick, pinch, etc... Then I was thinking about the weekend. On Saturday morning, me and my daughter took off to go to Vermont for the weekend. I did not pick my face from the time I was in Vermont. As soon as I got home, I was picking all night. Seems as though my husband may be my trigger - I just found out that he's been lying to me for months because he relapsed and was lying and hiding it from me. Needless to say, I haven't seen my therapist in many months but I just made an appointment with her. I'm thinking that I need to figure out how to cope now that I think I know what my triger is. Sad that my husband seems to be my stress point.

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