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vesta , 04 Apr 2010

aggravated with mania

I am 32 years old, female and I have suffered from some sort of OCD my entire life. Ive been a skin picker for as long as I can remember. My mom has similiar issues. When I was kid she would pick at me, if I had a pimple or whatever. I think that is how that got started for me, lol. Ughh, not trying to blame my mom, she and I have alot of similiar OCD traits. I also cannot stand it if I see a pimple, blackhead or something on someone else. I want to "fix" them too. My boyfriend knows I have an issue and when I am staring at him or in a trance state, he knows why and tells me to let it go, there is no way he is letting me near it! LOL, its funny, but it helps. Just to back track a little, I had chilled on the skin picking while I was an active alcholic for over ten years. Ive been sober for almost 27 months. When I quit drinking I went into therapy and started medication to deal with alot of my anxiety and OCD issues. The skin picking has still not come up as a topic of conversation with any of my dr.s. Why? Because then I would have to stop! I want to stop, but at the same time it is a huge security blanket for me. Its gotten alot worse since i quit smoking. Ive started doing Yoga, and that helps. I also threw away all compact mirrors, and tweezers. Im embarassed to say how many types of tweezers (also know as tools) I had or how many....I just dont need or want another dr telling me something that im doing something wrong and how do i feel about it...I know how I feel about it and I know why I do it. I didnt know until recently it had a cool name though, thats a plus. :>) Im glad I am not alone and came across this website. I am glad that Im not the only one who likes it when I get a scab so I can admire my handiwork after I have picked it repeatedly and then made a scar. Sounds strange actually saying it. Anyway, thanks to all the pickers who have talked about it. I wish everyone the best of luck, this is not an easy thing to overcome.
4 Answers
April 04, 2010
a few things I managed to quit doing on my own over the years, pulling out my eyebrows, (that was hard) biting my nails and constantly picking my scalp and pulling and twisinting my hair. the eyebrow thing I started keeping track of when I was doing it. Realized it was only at work, so I remedied that because I figured out what was bothering me. Biting my nails, I started wearing nail polish and I didnt like the way the polish felt on my teeth. The hair issue, believe it or not, I started locking my hair, dreadlocks, and that has helped alot. Yes, I wash my dreadlocks allll the time. Im not dirty, just a picker! lol Im a recovering alcholic, and Im in AA for that. Why I cant use the steps to quit doing "picking" things I dont know, ive tried. Quitting smoking, I used Chantix for a month.
April 05, 2010

In reply to by vesta

i can't tell if you "want" to quit picking ........ i do extend heaps of congrats on all your other accomplishments !! they certainly are tremendously commendable. perhaps, if you do want to quit picking, it just isn't your time to do it and one day it will be the day. all the best to you and wishing you continued success with your outstanding accomplishments. :)
April 05, 2010

In reply to by vesta

thank you very much. yes, i am doing really well despite a very trying day yesterday. and i understand when you say you want to do it on your own terms. actually, that's probably the only way. i did it on my terms. i got serious enough about it and made a commitment and set out a plan and stuck to it, so far at least. i won't be able to place blame anywhere else if i fall off the wagon. not my regimen, not my diet, not my meds, not any physician. that is what i've been trying to share here, is that it takes a serious commitment to beat this, or any addiction or compulsion, however it is preferred to be viewed. i hope you find your terms sooner, rather than later, like i did. you're young. i did self damage for many too many years believing otherwise and don't wish that upon anyone. old too soon, and too late smart. lol though at 54 i don't consider myself that old. i just wish i nipped this in the bud about 20 yrs ago at least.

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