Hi everyone, I just found this website and couldn't stop reading so I joined this forum just to maybe vent a little and join a group and not feel totally alone.
I am 22 years old (23 in November) and I have been picking at my scars and scabs since I can remember. The thing that sort of woke up to me was that lately I noticed how many spots I would have on my skin and feel like an outcast.
I mostly have them on my legs, arms (especially the right), shoulder blades, and some on my face from past acne. And I'm basically tired of feeling like some weirdo with this behavior. To top it all off, I have a habitual impulse to eat the scab itself and if I am close to people I tend to suck the blood and blot it up with a napkin or sleeve to keep more from appearing.
I don't know when I started but I do remember my father doing this a lot and I guess I did this as imitation. But the only one I have talked to about it is my current boyfriend. He doesn't mind it and says that nobody's perfect. But on hot summer days and times when I want to just go sleeveless, it feels like I have to cover up for the sake of not hearing people ask "What happened to you? Why do you have all of those marks?"
I find I do it whenever I'm stressed at school (or otherwise) or just plain bored. And usually I don't even remember doing it after I finished and seeing myself bleeding again.
Anyway, so far I am trying to keep ontop of work and read a bit more books (to keep my hands occupied at least) but it still catches up to me when I still have a scab still 'pickable' to itch at.
I hate having scars.