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Luna_85 , 15 Apr 2008

Just found this site like most others here...

Hi everyone, I just found this website and couldn't stop reading so I joined this forum just to maybe vent a little and join a group and not feel totally alone. I am 22 years old (23 in November) and I have been picking at my scars and scabs since I can remember. The thing that sort of woke up to me was that lately I noticed how many spots I would have on my skin and feel like an outcast. I mostly have them on my legs, arms (especially the right), shoulder blades, and some on my face from past acne. And I'm basically tired of feeling like some weirdo with this behavior. To top it all off, I have a habitual impulse to eat the scab itself and if I am close to people I tend to suck the blood and blot it up with a napkin or sleeve to keep more from appearing. I don't know when I started but I do remember my father doing this a lot and I guess I did this as imitation. But the only one I have talked to about it is my current boyfriend. He doesn't mind it and says that nobody's perfect. But on hot summer days and times when I want to just go sleeveless, it feels like I have to cover up for the sake of not hearing people ask "What happened to you? Why do you have all of those marks?" I find I do it whenever I'm stressed at school (or otherwise) or just plain bored. And usually I don't even remember doing it after I finished and seeing myself bleeding again. Anyway, so far I am trying to keep ontop of work and read a bit more books (to keep my hands occupied at least) but it still catches up to me when I still have a scab still 'pickable' to itch at. I hate having scars.
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iseespots
April 16, 2008
hey there, im 24 (25 in november) lol and i do the same as u! i see spots and i pick them, i eat them too!! so ur not alone and for me its moved around my body, from my legs to my shoulders, to my lower back and to my face... currently my boobs seem to be the thing.... i see a pimple a spot or some dinge- be it just a blocked folical.. and in i go.. i squeeze and squeeze and then scratch off the top when no more puss seems to be there (if any- sometimes its plasmay stuff) then it gets worse... i have tons of scars! and open wounds!! the worse part is where im guessing ur a sexy size 10 im a size 22 and after a nervous breakdown with depression im 16 stone. im with a really supportive guy who seems to work past things... but it doesnt stop me for hateing myself. two weeks ago i was suicidal it was pretty intense.. :( but im still here and im very grateful i found this site!! anyhow unless i creep u out i hope that ur ok with the thought ur not alone! takecare! vxx
Luna_85
April 16, 2008
You don't creep me out...and well I don't know if sexy is the word but I'm a size 12 (UK sizing). Yeah I have the ones on my boobs too. I was talking to my boyfriend about it and he knew that I picked, he was a bit shocked when I mentioned that I ate them too. His response was that it wasn't as bad really since apparently animals eat their own placenta or something like that. I think he was trying to cheer me up. I am so glad though you didn't take your own life though. I felt like that in my teen years, and being on the controversial Acne medication Accutane didn't help either. Made my skin even worse and brought depression. But still we're among friends. I think today I actually kept from scratching myself. There were one or two nips at my face, but it's better than how I usually do. : )
iseespots
April 16, 2008
lol... was on some acne meds too..at one point- wasnt on accutane cause it doesnt sound famillar--. but i was on the pills when i was 14 lol... there also was this liquid stuff they gave me and it was like i was spreading the zitties around so they put me back on the meds when i kicked off! then one time, this old doctor put me on this stuff that u spread on and mix up.... i looked like queen elizabeth 1st!! it worked but when i went back to get more they were like -- he shouldnt of put u on that!! which was totally a bummer! cause i like a plan when it works! anyhow the acne must of flared down but i cant stop picking! today i havent picked yet but thats because i had a nap in the day cause i was awake all last night, my boyf snores to hell.. ur bloke had the best intensions but alike to my bloke they are kings of saying the oddest things today i said id found here (skinpick.com) and my guy said --'' well everyone picks their skin to some point. but not many leave big red welks on themselves'' (told him to p*ss off!) men! lol i think the eating starts as a curiousity and then becomes more of a finishing ritual... lol i sometimes feel a little unforfilled if i down munch it! anyhow. im from the UK too btw :) vxx
Luna_85
April 17, 2008
Yeah I know exactly what you mean (the eating bit). I do it now out of habit and because I don't wanna see bits of skin on my carpet really (my vacuum sucks) So if I'm not near a trashcan, it goes in my mouth. It was hard to keep from scratching today though. It was on my mind and goodness knows I wanted to try. So I scratched at my nails and cuticles instead. Anyway, I'm not from the UK by the way, my guy is though. :) Cool hearing from you again.
iseespots
April 22, 2008
hey there again. been a bit stressed with work.. turns out doing 24 hours up being all cheesed off about my lack of sorting my life gave me the squeezies! boobies are a mess! anyhow im replying just so u dont think ive gone on too much of a big strole! so where u from if not from the uk?? typical question... america? speak again soon! vickers
Luna_85
April 23, 2008
Yeah I'm from the States. I feel ya on the stress part. I have a paper due tomorrow and god knows how much else (I'm studying Graphic Arts). It doesn't help I have to sit in front of a computer all day with this work too. Since idle hands leads to me scratching when I'm stuck or in a rut. Today I was about to scratch at my face again and I started talking to myself in the mirror. Which was pretty weird since I hate seeing myself talking but I just kept telling myself that the only way to let those scars heal, is to stop scratching. I think what makes it worse for me is that I have dark (afro) skin. So I'm left with very dark brown marks all over me. I picked up some Vitamin E oil to try out and I've heard good things about coco butter. But I usually hate wearing that since I end up smelling like a chocolate bar all day. LOL But at this point, as long as I smell decent and it's doing something, I'll go for it. Write back anytime. Don't stress the small stuff :) -Luna

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