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so as much as i love the idea of this forum, the last couple days, as i've been reading i've noticed something odd. every time i read a post, and i mean EVERY time, i get reminded of how many scabs are on my body, how many pimples i can feel and the urge comes on very strongly. i wonder if this caring and sharing actually brings it all to the forefront of my thought processes, whereas if i was doing something else online i wouldn't be feeling those urges. Has anyone else noticed an Increased desire after being on here, like instead of a renewed commitment to stop, you get a renewed desire to wallow in it? if so, how do you accept the support, without acting in ways which force you to Need support? can coming out and being open lead to a state in which you convince yourself it's ok and you don't need to do the emotional work to get healthy, body and mind? can being ashamed of what you do actually be beneficial in some way???? i need to really think about all this.
April 08, 2010
i had the opposite effect having found this place. although i really dislike reading the gory details of people's experiences and practices and can commiserate with that feeling you describe, it was positive posts here that helped inspire me to get serious about a lifelong self harming horrible habit that i truly did want to stop before it destroyed my life with a serious infection that perhaps my immune system might not be able to handle. together with the information i found through researching wound healing and skin and skin benefiting foods and supplements and practices and that this is such a wide spread insidious affliction i was moved into action and joined a challenge here with determination and commitment along with my fear. in my ways, i am trying to foster positive topics here and in so doing discourage the negative gory descriptive passages. having the success i've experienced i believe that participation in the right kind of topics here can be truly helpful. i believe the suffering that goes on out there and hope there's a way to move people through that and through the denial of their responsibility in the process to the very real possibility that self harming ways can be changed to self loving ways.