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esteromom , 14 Apr 2010

new here, picking for 20+ yrs, scared for my daughter

Im so happy to finally find out whats wrong with me Im very aware of my problem and now self diagnosed. Ive mentioned it with my doctor and they have blow me off. They seem to get miffed anytime you bring in printed info from the internet. As I said I have been picking for over 20 yrs. To see it runs in families makes sense as my mom has a more severe case. Her arms and face are now scarred so bad she looks like she has been in a house fire. She started picking on me in my teens when I started getting acne. At first I thought it was so it would heel. She said I need to get the "seed" out. It progressed to sessions where we would pick eachothers back, and face for hours, getting any last bump. Myself I would cover it with a mask of makeup to hide my shame. My mother didnt even do that. As an adult I continue to pick. It annoys my husband and hes constantly tells me to stop which will even cause us to snipe at eachother. But as a stay at home mom, it allows me to pick when hes not home. I have even refined my skills to get a 10x magnification mirror, an a picking tool, needle, and special tweezers in the act. Its a ritual. I will go into a daze sometimes and pick at scabs while driving, eating or whatever. My back is scarred badly from picking sessions with my mom so much so, that I wear my hair long to cover it up, my arms are scarred that I wear 3/4 sleeve shirts, and my chest and face, I can touch up with make up. While I am conserned for myself, I am mostly conserned for my 4.5yr old daughter. right now she bites her nail, picks at scabs, and sucks her thumb. I have never consealed my habit from her and I dont want her to pick up the habit from me. So Im making the commitment to stop for her. I never understood why the alcoholics made such a big deal out of how many days they remained sober. Well now I know... With tears welling up in my eyes, and a lump in my throat because its going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done, Im on day 1.
2 Answers
April 14, 2010
Throw away that magnifying mirror! If you need a magnifying mirror to see it, then you can leave it alone, because no one will be able to notice something that small. But they WILL notice a big red spot after you pick it. Treat your skin like you would treat your daughter's skin. AS gently as possible. Anxiety and OCD do run in families and your daughter may be predisposed to them. BUT the worst thing for her is to see her role model (her Mom) picking. Hopefully if she doesn't see you pick anymore she will find other self soothing behaviours. I know you don't want your daughter to go through what you and your mother have been through, so I think your daughter will be a powerful motivator to stop. I promise you can stop. I'm on day 17 I think and it is hard but you can do it. And you can prevent your daughter from being a picker too. Stay strong :) Keep reading these posts and posting your thoughts and questions.
April 18, 2010
Hi, I am 45 years old-a wife, mom, teacher and a picker. My mom, dad and sister are too. I mainly pick my legs-I am scared now because it is short season and people stare at me-I have a 9 and 11 year old and they do not but I hope it does not happen to them-I have been picking sicnce high school-I never had any abuse and lived a pretty normal and life and I am a happy person-it seems to be more a compulsion than anything-anyway, I went to one dermatoligist and he didn't really help-I would not only like to stop but find some sort of cream to disguise it a little so I can wear shorts happily, any ideas?

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