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wildflower , 19 Apr 2010

seen for the first time

my son, age 21, and my daughter, age 23, saw me for the first time EVER with healed skin this weekend !! i didn't wear any makeup at all and my daughter can't remember seeing me without makeup. she couldn't get over how good my skin looks and she said it "glows". and my son said i look real good. that's right, they've never EVER seen me without wounds on my face and i'd worn makeup every day for their whole lives. i'd not seen either of them for a couple of months before feb 24/10, the day i quit picking. i lasted 49 days and then picked only one white head and now i am on day 5 following that so my skin has had a chance to heal up pretty well with only minimal redness here and there and that is still fading. my skin looks as good as it does because although i picked madly all those years and longer, i always bandaged up overnight so the sores could heal as much as they could so makeup could be applied the next day relatively successfully. the bandages kept the sores moist and from forming hard scabs which leave scars behind. i'm so grateful for bandages. and i'm feeling, finally, like the life of being a picker is behind me now, although i realize how easily that could change so i'll always be vigilant. it's wonderful to feel like this, let alone feel my skin looks good. i feel proud to have managed feel free from the demon. i wish this feeling for everyone and feel that it is possible. it is not easy, but it's possible. it takes a very serious devoted commitment to changing behaviours, a researched plan, and a positive loving outlook. i'd had the compulsion to pick for so long, i believed i'd never be without it but because of a serious infection from picking, and getting very frightened as a result, i managed to pull the determination and information together and make the commitment and proved it could be done !! i don't doubt that i will have small setbacks like the one i've had already, but if i do, i will not let it be anything but a small one as i never want to go "back there" again. i will forgive myself, and will get right back to my healthy skin care practices, foods, and supplements and get back to treating my skin respectfully, properly, and lovingly. i was disrespectful, damaging, and too hurtful to myself for much too long. i sincerely hope that, if you are a picker reading this, you will not let the compulsion grip you as long as it gripped me. realize there is no magic bullet for this, but it can be beaten with a serious determination along with tactics that might include a better diet, supplements, medications, better skin care practices, and therapy, etc. just figure out what it is that you need for your situation and tackle it seriously. know that it can be beaten. believe!
16 Answers
allovertheplace
April 19, 2010
Your post means so much to me. I'm so happy for you wildflower, I'm so happy that you're in control of your life again. It encourages me so much that someone whose struggled for so long has not only broken this addiction, but has also healed, emotionally and physically. I wish you the best of luck on continuing on this path of freedom and your testimony will only add to my perserverance.
wildflower
April 19, 2010

In reply to by allovertheplace

thank you so much!! i can't say i'm totally in control of my life, though! .. lol ... but at least this aspect, for now :) i'm thrilled to think that my story will encourage you with yours. i look forward to being an example and a cheer leader for you and the others here that are working on battling this demon. i believe in yas !! <3 <3 <3
wildflower
April 19, 2010

In reply to by wildflower

and today i went to see the dermatologist i needed to see 3 months ago when my condition was bad but you know how long it takes to get to see a specialist, especially a new one as a new patient. my previous dermatologist was insensitive and her treatments were callous and ineffective. i went to my primary doctor in january with 6 badly infected lesions on my shin just above my ankle that were oozing and not healing. i feared they might be diabetic ulcers or cancerous and was prescribed antibiotics followed by corticosteroids and was referred to this dermatologist. well, since then and because i've quit picking essentially 55 days ago having only one minor setback at day 49, my skin hasn't looked better in over about 25 years. i printed out my new regimen and all my meds and vitamins and supplements and discussed my history, this site and my self diagnosis as a dermatillomaniac and was well received on all accounts. he and his 4th yr med student were very pleased with my information, my practices and my achievement. explaining that i fear my next breakout, i was assured i would be tended to quickly and it was suggested that phototherapy be the course of action to take considering the slew of topical and systemic approaches tried ineffectually over the years. i feel it went very well and that if i am in good hands, my own for now with my current regimen and resolve, and his if need be. and of course with the great support here.
wildflower
April 20, 2010

In reply to by bm

thank you, bm! yes, i am proud of what i've managed to do so far. even though there are areas of my skin that before this i would have picked at, i can now convince myself to leave it alone and be pleased with how the rest of my skin is doing. i do fear my next major breakout but was reassured by my new dermatologist that if i should have one, he would address it as soon as possible, likely by phototherapy. i'm hoping, though, that by following my new regimen that maybe it's fending it off and all i'll ever get is these little pimples and whiteheads that i've been able to ignore until they go away on their own which they do, slowly but nicely without leaving a mark. and thank you, too, for considering me an inspiration. i do hope to be that because from the bottom of my heart i wish that everyone with this disorder could overcome it, especially early in their lives, rather than later. i feel like i'm proof that no matter how hard-nosed a picker is, it is possible to break the habit. i have surprised myself and believe that if i can do it, anyone can. <3 <3 <3
wildflower
April 21, 2010

In reply to by violet

believe in yourself. it is the most important thing you can do for yourself. a positive attitude will take you places whereas pessimism and skepticism and everything negative will just bog you down. belief is so important. and thank you for feeling i've been inspiring. now make me proud !! <3 <3 <3
Rachel04
April 20, 2010
Hi there. My name is Rachel (as you can probably see) and i am 19 years old. i have been on this site almost every day searching for answers and i came across your post. It feels great to be able to relate to someone. Skin picking is a very tricky subject and does not have a lot of information available to look at, so i am really thankful that everyone posts on here. I have big scabs all over my face and have been a skin picker for 3/4 of my young life. I just want to get rid of this disorder so i can look forward to living each day instead of just trying to make it through. I really appreciate the posts, once again. It's great to hear a success story.
wildflower
April 20, 2010

In reply to by Rachel04

hi rachel, and welcome !! i hope you have found the information in the other menus on this site besides this forum menu. there's loads of valuable information in so many places. here in the forum i have created many topics that i've tried to put what has worked for me and since you chose this one of mine to respond to i thought i'd suggest you look them up for stuff that might be right for you, too. there are lots of other successes in progress happening too !! any day that skin isn't picked is a successful day :) i hope you'll get on the bandwagon and make picking history in your life. try my daily regimen. i encourage the use of riteaid round latex free bandages if you live in the usa. i also feel that determination and commitment are the most important things. i hope you can muster it up along with a load of tactics to help you achieve your goals. <3 <3 <3
Rachel04
April 20, 2010
Thanks, i really appreciate it. I use bandaids every night and i do live in the U.S so i will look for those. It's just tough, when i know i could be so pretty with good skin. And then you look back on pictures of when your skin was decent and you wish it could be like that again. I try hard every day not to pick, but once i start-just like most people dealing with this-i can't stop. i am going to a cognitive therapist starting in a few weeks here. I actually dropped out of my first year of college because i couldnt bear to face anyone. I tried to stay and stick it out. But it just got worse. Normally it wouldnt be in my character to reach out and talk to people i don't know, but i just feel like i understand and i want to help anyone who needs it. It gives me great hope to know that you have lived with this for quite some time and still manage to carry on every day. I really commend you for that, and you are a hero to me, even though i have never met you. Thank you for the responses.
wildflower
April 21, 2010

In reply to by Rachel04

i certainly hope that you'll do all you can to nip this in the bud now rather than be me, years down the road and finally doing it ... i think if i had all the information that's available to me years back that we have available to us now, i would have kicked the habit way back when and not suffered for so many years ... do all that you can, now ... i'm living proof that it is possible ... and it feels great !! ... and very empowering ... chances of me having another setback is getting slimmer and slimmer all the time ... strength be with you !! ... <3 <3 <3
Manon Morin
April 21, 2010
I'm so happy to have found this forum. I want my children to feel the same way one day and know that I have beaten that demon. My daughter is now 14 years old and I am so happy that she does not have this seriously bad habit or disorder. She sees what it does to my skin and so I'm sure that is what has encouraged her to never do that to her face. I want to beat this once and for all! Its overwhelming.
wildflower
April 23, 2010
oops. i had another setback. that's two now so it goes to show it's really not that easy even if 48 days go by without picking. vigilance is needed even then and probably will be always. still the effort to get more and more pick free days is important because getting healed skin for any length of time is worth it. i want to be back there again real soon. as much as i believe in bandages i'd rather not need to wear them. so, it's back to my effort to be kind to my skin. to do it no harm with a new realization that even a wash cloth can do damage. i must be patient. i must be strong. i want my skin all healed up again. :) i'm back on day 1 now.

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