New and decided to share.

Hi everyone. My name is Tara I am 25 and have been picking since I was probably 13. I have been trying to stop for years it seems like but I just can't.I feel like I don't control my own body like I have to keep picking until the skin is even if that makes any sense. I guess I mean I pick at it until the skin on the sides of my nails is gone and smooth and then I have to do the rest of the finger for it all to look the same? It's weird and complicated.For years I wondered why I did this if there was a name for it or a way to stop it.I asked people they said they had never heard of such a thing and tell me to just stop picking.That irritates me the most I think I hate when people who don't understand think you can just flat out stop something. I pick mainly at my fingers and sometimes my scalp,lips,and ears.Normally I don't know I am doing it but when I do is when I use things like nail clippers,knives,razor blades,box cutter blades you get the point if it is sharp I use it. In a way I feel that makes it even more difficult to stop picking because I don't just do it with my fingers or teeth. I have noticed improvements when I get acrylic nails but as a single mom to an almost 2 year old and part time student it is very hard to be able to find the extra money to get them done. Right now I have a few fingers bandaged from where I pulled chunks of skin off and keep pulling scabs off.I have no feeling in my left middle finger from cutting a nerve with my clippers.I have spots on my left ear that I keep picking and it is gross looking. I also have little scabs randomly on my scalp and I have been picking at my lips until they bleed. I am a little paranoid about my picking as I am going to school to be a cosmetologist which means my hands are in view pretty much all the time especially when I am giving someone a manicure or pedicure and the roughness my fingers seem to have now doesn't help when giving someone a facial. I want this under control I am tired of it consuming my life. I also don't want my son to see me doing it I am worried he will see me doing it and he will start doing it. So that is pretty much it. I would love to hear from you guys maybe tell me how you are treating your picking or have treated it. How bad off your picking gets. Do you use your fingers or teeth when you do it or do you use anything to get the skin off? Do you feel the same way I do when it comes to making the skin "even"? Thanks for reading hope to hear from some of you and perhaps make a few friends in the process.