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PrettySkinUnderneath , 07 Nov 2011

Sabotaging my face - new and needing support!

Hey guys! I'm in need of real support. I've tried for so long to stop picking and squeezing my face but I can't break my habit. My face looks like it has permanent red marks where old acne used to be and I know it's because I pick it so much. I absolutely cannot stop. I have a few strong OCD habits, but this one affects my life the most. I'll spend 30 minutes at a time in front of my bathroom mirror picking at acne and squeezing pores. I feel like my face will never EVER be clear and pretty like everyone around me, and it's my own fault. When I saw this site and that other people struggle with the same thing, it made me feel a lot less alone. I'd love to hear what some people do to keep themselves from touching their faces. Any kind of input at all would mean a lot!
19 Answers
littlemisspicky
November 07, 2011
Pretty skin I really understand. This crazy disorder ruins so much of life. I read another site on Friday stoppickingonme.com Reading all the stuff about the delicate structure of the skin and the way the site is written has really helped to start me off stopping, and using this 30 day challenge is really focusing me. I have resisted picking all weekend, day 3 today. I am taking pictures every day to make myself accountable for any "cheating" and I have given up make up. I am not covering this up any more (except for a party on saturday night!) We don't have to spoil our faces, we can get this into perspective and treat our skin with the respect it deserves. I'm on here every day because I need everyone, keep coming back, it will help. So my top tips so far... learn more about your skin structure so you can respect and trust it reward yourself with some gel nails after a few successful days - it'll make you feel smart and the nails will make picking harder Instead of picking have a glass of water - it'll distract your hands and help your skin. take a picture everyday so you can chart your progress and be accountable for "cheating" I am trying these things, and 3 days is the longest I have ever been without a good old session. Good luck and keep in touch x
PrettySkinUnderneath
November 07, 2011

In reply to by littlemisspicky

Littlemisspicky, your ideas are perfect! I'm going to replace picking with a glass of water. And I'll be checking that website out very soon. You're much braver than I am going without makeup. But I do promise that if I can go a week without picking, I will stop wearing makeup on my face! Today counts as my first day. I'll also be taking pictures now! Thank you for the advice! I also decided to keep a jar by my bathroom sink (where I end up standing in front of the mirror forever, picking away) that I have to put one piece of makeup in anytime I pick. I feel like I need my makeup now, so I'm thinking that if I keep parts of it in a jar for a week at a time I will be more encouraged to stop picking. It's either that or money. I will definitely be on here a lot because I love knowing that I have support. Good luck!! I have faith in you. In 30 days maybe we'll both stop picking :)
littlemisspicky
November 08, 2011

In reply to by PrettySkinUnderneath

It is so brilliant to think that in a month our faces will have grown all new skin. I have to literally sit on my hands to stop the now very conscious desire to scrutinize scratch and pick at my skin, but day 4 is nearly done and aside from one subconscious slip up I am actually doing it! Be kind to yourself, and reward yourself lots PrettySkin :) It is totally doable!
PrettySkinUnderneath
November 08, 2011

In reply to by littlemisspicky

I almost can't believe it! I'm sitting here studying and I've had to slap my hands down from my face multiple times, but it's working! And I just now treated myself to an avocado mask (which I highly recommend). I'll keep you accountable this month if you do the same for me :)
littlemisspicky
November 12, 2011

In reply to by PrettySkinUnderneath

Hiya, how you doing? I have done the classic, things not going so good so stick my head in the sand and ignore it. Day 5 and day 6 were not successful days. although I have not attacked my skin anywhere near as much as I would do usually, I have picked at 3 areas and they look so much worse. It is kind of useful to see how much better the rest of my face is compared to the bits that I have worked on. But I'm not going to be proud of today's photo :( Day 7 was not so bad, just not being so strict with myself. So I am back on here early today, reading taking inspiration and renewing my resolve to stop this for ever. The interesting thing about the lapses are that they have highlighted one emotion that triggers my picking, and I think that emotion was so strong this week, it proved stronger than my determination. But now I know it, I can see it coming and hopefully respond in a way that doesn't make the situation worse. Hacking at my face always always always makes it worse. So day 8 - I'm sitting on my hands and respecting my skin. How you getting on PrettySkin? Hope you are starting to see results! xx
PrettySkinUnderneath
November 12, 2011

In reply to by littlemisspicky

Good to hear from you! My week has been a lot more stressful than most, so don't feel bad for lapsing because we're in the same boat. I have left every place on my face alone execpt my chin, which now has a scab-like thing on it and I'm embarrassed. But the rest of my skin is looking better! It's clearing up and I'm sure the tone of it will look more even in a month. It's crazy that you say that about the one emotion because I discovered the same thing. We really are in the same boat! Haha. I have had more strength to look in the mirror then quickly walk away before I mess up my progress. It's getting somewhat easier just because there seem to be less things to pick at. I'm proud of both of us! And even though we're not 100% pick-free, we are on our way. I keep telling myself my skin is delicate, and if I leave it alone it will eventually look delicate. Keep up the good work, littlemisspicky! :)
gypsy
December 03, 2011

In reply to by PrettySkinUnderneath

Hi littlemisspicky and pretty skin. I'm 3 days new to the site. It'm uplifted reading the two of you supporting one another. I want to join in though just writing that frightens me. I don't know if I can do it but tomorrow I'm going to try - thinking that at the end of the day - I will check back in with you guys. Thank you for having the courage to be honest and to try.
bonesaw
December 08, 2011

In reply to by gypsy

gypsy--I want an accountability partner. I will check back on this post to see if you are still checking this website, and if so, let's hold each other accountable! I have been face-picking for gosh like 2 or 3 years now? and I do it for up to 20 minutes a night. And I am so sick of my face looking like crap because of it, when if I'd just stop it'd be really clear. So gypsy if you want to let's hold one another accountable!
secretskin
November 12, 2011
Hey guys, I'm so pleased that you are doing well! I had my first 100% pick free day yesterday since I started picking 15 years ago. So it can be done. I like the water idea, but I think I'd be drinking all day long haha! I've made a blog to help me stop picking, it seems to be helping, head over and we can try and stop picking together. http://secretskinpicker.wordpress.com/ Good Luck, you can stop :-) x
Ellen
November 13, 2011
littlemisspicky, I really like your comment, "treat our skin with the respect it deserves." I also think it's great the way you and Prettyskin have been helping each other along and keeping each other accountable. I'm very curious about what you would say if you had to put your "one emotion" into words? Mine is something like frustration/anger/dissatisfaction/powerlessness/self-hatred. Okay, that's 5 emotions. But they're all rolled into one!
littlemisspicky
December 04, 2011

In reply to by Ellen

Hello guys, I have been a bit quiet but I haven't given up! My skin picking is so so much better than it has been for years. my skin is now fit to be seen without a long make up session, and I only wear make up now if I am on a night out. I have had french gel nails done so my nail tip is really blunt. This mean that if I do go to squeeze or pick at my skin, all I get is red pressure spots, not broken skin and scratch marks. This does not have the "feel good" of a good pick or squeeze and so it is really helping. @ Ellen, when I pick it is about escaping. I feel totally nothing, I zone out, switch off and focus on the doable minutia rather than the overwhleming thing that is my life. I don't feel anger or frustration until I see what I have done to myself and have to hide my face from my children. That said, It is always worse at times of stress, the more demands on me the more I pick and the less I achieve! I guess I pick because I am afraid to get on with living! It's hard to give up being angry with yourself, but this helped me: Mark Twain Quotes. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. I believe that is true x
missyjz
December 01, 2011
I feel your pain! It feels like you're so alone but you're not the only one! I've had a really bad day today with picking. I really want to stop and i do well for awhile and then i have a blow up and i get so angry with myself. Staying like 2-3 feet from the mirror when you do your make up has helped me. It's really hard to not get closer but each time i've done this i've had a really good day. This is a really hard battle and i feel like i'm getting better but i still have these really bad days once in awhile. Try and go for as many days in a row as you can without picking and it does get easier. i get stuck on day 4 or 5 for some reason. I understand your pain. It's really hard. Maybe we can continue encouraging each other? I need an accountability partner!
PrettySkinUnderneath
December 01, 2011

In reply to by missyjz

It is an awful feeling to think you're alone in this, but we're all here for you. And I would love to be your accountability partner! I'm glad you have found something that keeps you from picking as much. It's been about three weeks since I began trying to stop. So far I have a few tips that have helped me stop (not 100% yet, though) if you'd like to try any of them. 1) I taped a piece of paper on the part of the mirror I can get closest to in my bathroom so that I can't get stuck in the picking trance. On the paper I have whatever it is I need to be studying most at that time for school. 2) When I feel that a pimple just has to be popped, I use a very tiny syringe that has been disinfected with alcohol to pop it. This keeps the skin from getting too broken up and irritated, and it helps the spots to heal faster. 3) I cut out foundation from my makeup regimen. This helps my pores not to clog as much, of course. But it also challenges you to work harder at clearing up your face because you can see the scars and pimples easier. I do use a concealer stick on major trouble spots, but it doesn't do what foundation does haha. 4) Use a gentle face wash instead of scrub (if you use a scrub). The scrubs break open your skin easier, and while this may seem like it is cleaning it better, it's only leaving it open to more infection and irritation. I use a gentle vitamin C wash with toner and it works wonders. I hope that helps and I would love to be kept updated on your progress. :)
missyjz
December 01, 2011

In reply to by PrettySkinUnderneath

I've been working at stopping now for about a year and a half and things have gotten easier. I think I just get even more frustrated with myself after I do screw up because i have good sections of time and then i go back to picking. I like your no make up idea. I wear minimal make up now but if i knew i had nothing to cover up what i'd done, i think i would be more careful! Maybe make up is a crutch? I've always been envious of people who seem to have obvious blemishes and it doesn't seem to bother them. It seems like my mission has been to discover every "problem" and "fix" it. And it never looks better! I'm not sure why it's so addicting! I think sometimes i seek perfection in my skin but i go about it all the wrong way. Thanks for your tips and ideas. It's nice to know someone else out there understands! :)
littlemisspicky
December 04, 2011

In reply to by PrettySkinUnderneath

Hey Pretty Skin, So good to hear you are doing well :) I am definitely going to put things I want to read over my "favourite bit of mirror" - It makes me laugh to think other people have that place too, the danger mirror that draws you in, shows all the tiny tiny marks and sets you off! My husband would not understand this! Yes, that bit of mirror needs something more constructive stuck on it! I have had some work stresses, so have been a bit quiet, I am sorry - I have checked in on my phone, but havent made time to respond properly. The gentle face wash is a great thing to say out loud too - I have spent years scrubbing at sores with exfoliants as if they are the answer, and all the time it's about gently encouraging the skin to do the job it already does really well. Well done Pretty skin - I hope your pretty skin is shining through xx
amgoingtochange
December 02, 2011

In reply to by missyjz

hi i know exactly what ur talking about! cant believe there are so many people like me, i always felt so alone and out of control especially at nite. got a huge calendar and i have completely covered my mirror with it in my bathroom. stil have a mirror in bedroom but i use this to put on my make up. i have done well this wk but i feel like i am just keeping getting new spots every single day and i dont know how to stop them. is this a result of years of picking? i am gettin microdermabrasion done for the first time next wk so i am hopin to see results with that. i also bought some very expensive cleanser and toner from a brand called nimue. bought a dermaroller online a few times but i got worried that i cud be doing more damage to my skin. my beautician has started micro needling in her salon so i am considering getting that done too even though it is so expensive. pity i ever picked in the first place cos if i wouldnt have picked for past 10 years i wud not have to spend all this money! tink it wil be safer to get the micro needling done in a salon cos it wil be in sterile environment and dey use deeper needles..pain is beauty eh:)
c-pickcrazy
December 03, 2011
Ive been picking my scabs ever since i was 18 im 21 now. Its not leaving scars yet but im scared there going to leave scars soon. I had a bunch of them on my leg just on my shin and on the fronts of my arms and now on my face lately but i cant help but pick them off i feel like a dog!! I used to be a neat freak with my parents house and always did.laundry i like to do it but ever since i stopped that ive been picking i know ive had stress but it feel like something in my body needs to come out. Ive had blood tests everything fine except my iron is very low. Just spots keep showing up as pimples and then the next day there open scars. I thought i was allergic to dog fur but i dont think so... And whenever i wake up i feel the need to pick all my scabs all over again!! Ive just started using tea tree oil on my face it doesnt work at all i have combination skin but i cant rwally use anything.. Helppp
noworries
March 04, 2012
i noticed someone mentioned tea tree oil. Tea tree oil is really harsh and can burn and inflame the skin, preventing healing. like another form of harm. It's a great anti-bacterial and makes a good wash for wounds and acne for that reason... but it shouldn't be applied directly and undiluted to sensitive facial skin. I used to use it, especially when i feel the urge to approach the spots in a really super defensive, overly harsh way, which is what this problem is all about to me. Same with compulsively removing layers of 'blemished' skin, either through picking, peeling, scratching, digging, scrubbing.... I think part of the twisted appeal in that hefty burn, kill all living things feeling that tea tree (and other harsh drugs, cleaners, gels, etc) gives is like the hardcore reactionary response to the skin doing its thing, expressing its own issues in ways that seem imperfect or problematic. But i'm beginning to realise that for all the trouble, the drawn out scarring, the mountains out of molehills, that it has to be worth the time, patience etc of taking a more compassionate approach. Our skin's issues are connected to our own, and to our environment, hey? I've come here cos I compulsively pick at my acne, which sometimes isn't even bad till i get at it... I've been blaming it on acne, but it really is habitual as well as emotionally driven, as you guys might feel. the skin is now more a victim of my attitude than the other way round. my boyfriend is starting to really come down on the problem. I know i scratch my face in public sometimes when i get stressed or worried or lose awareness for some reason, but i would usually not let people see me do it very much (although it's hard to hide the evidence when i've had a go at it). With him i've let my guard down. He sees me picking. He knows i check the mirror and touch my face. and because he's said stuff about it i've become defiant and will just say, 'whatever, there's no point, it's already messed up, i'm just touching it, it's not your problem, it's just *my face*, it's itchy, i don't care... ... ...' any excuse so that i don't have to face the problem (especially when i feel like someone else has called me on it- i'm stubborn). maybe you know what i mean... but it's obviously a problem. it's unpleasant, self-harming, self-sabotaging, wrong, gross and it gets in the way of a lot. I had no idea there was an actual name for this and people who do this same stuff til today when i finally decided to google it (can't believe i never have when it's such a big problem for me... i guess i have only slowly started to admit that it's seriously neurotic and doing way too much damage). anyway, i've been throught the external remedies... the skin is an organ, the one we see. it's got to express the shit we put in the body, including the hormones and chemicals we produce through emotions and stuff. lack of sleep, stress, fear, anger, bitterness, jealousy, junk food, alcohol--- if you think i'm just talking about causes of acne and have strayed from the ''dermatillomania'' issue, these things don;t just affect acne, but also the state of our nervous systems and mental health.. i suspect that for some of you (like for me nowadays) the skin itself might not be your problem, or if it is, it's only a background problem to the neurotic fixation on fixing the perceived problem. maybe there's no acne or dermal problem, but our lifestyles, our feelings, our food, all affect the skin and the nervous system that links to the cycle of self-harm... but skin needs a good little ecosystem going and to be free from constant disturbance and all out war, it needs nutrient resources, moisture (from within), balanced pH etc to heal and to defend itself. it's hard on our bodies that many people live in such busy, cramped and polluted environments, with such a confusing array of food choices and such a disconnect from clean water and air, etc. a problem is that the skincare market, which operates in dermatology clinics and doctors surgeries as well as beauty peddlers, would have us believe that the answers lie in topical ointments, pills and other marketable goods. same with the psychiatry market, if it's gone beyond any actual dermal problem. so when those things don't work and we don't respond to the solutions like we're told we will, we get frustrated and just go nuts trying to punish the offending organ.. (maybe, i'm no psychologist...) but if we really took time we'd know that it's a whole life type thing, a balanced approach that takes into account multiple aspects of ourselves (body, mind, heart) that's necessary to come to terms with why we can't relax in our own skin... let it breathe. let it break out. let it hurt and let it heal. so easily said. not so easily done once a habit has become entrenched. especially since it means taking responsibility for our own happy future. anyway. i'm also working on breaking the habit. i've been at my best at times when i've been happiest (is that a chicken/ egg story?)...but no, i really noticed a difference when i was getting lots of clean fresh water (filtered or fresh from the creeks if they are at all existent in your area), getting sunshine and exercise, doing things that built my self-esteem, mental health, and resilience in times of stress, and that help keep things in perspective... like meditation and creative stuff. cos those things contribute to healthy attitude, which reduces anxiety and makes you love yourself more, so that hurting yourself doesn't seem to make as much sense. also meditation as a preventative against losing self-control and self-awareness. i was good with not scratching for about 6 mths while i was meditating every day or every other day. then i rebelled against my own better judgement and let go of that good habit. and many bad habits came back 3fold. ALSO i just found this girl on youtube today who talks about quitting picking and touching the face. she has obviously also spent a lot of time and energy to find out about treating the skin from within. thelovevitamin. it's the sort of info we might all seek but never find time or energy to collate to the degree she has. anyway. good luck. also i might try keeping a diary of some kind, to get a better understanding of what sets me off on skin-picking, scratching, squeezing and nail-biting benders. i think also maybe replacing a 'scrub and purify' type skincare regime with a 'nourish and heal' based one would let us pay attention to the skin but in a gentle, accpeting, compassionate way rather than a perfectionist way.

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