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ladykatie , 11 May 2012

Taking the First Step

I had such anxienty even deciding if I wanted to join this site and officially admit to myself and all others on here that I have reached the breaking point. I am resigned to the fact that I can not conquer my self-destruction skin picking habit with only will power. As I type this and put it out there for the world to read, I have a lessening of anxiety, which surely is a cause of my obsessive picking. This is my first step toward healing, and I hope with the help of others who suffer from this same disorder, I can become slowly better, or at least understand and perhaps control my behavior more. It is so encouraging and hopeful to find this forum. My goal, like everyone else, is to go days without picking and see visible progress. I am committing to posting, openly and honestly, daily for the next week and maybe longer; to get some insight into how I act and behave when it comes to this picking and be held accountable, knowing progress is being followed by this site. Feel free to join, too, and let me know how you do each day so we can encourage each other. We can have hope and healing together, I think and fight this alone!
13 Answers
Mirn
May 11, 2012
Been chewing on my skin since I was little. I don't have any problems now with my past, even though my past is a hurtful event. I don't understand why I still have this problem. I don't have depression, or anything else really. I'll try to do it for one day.. I don't know if I can do it.
ladykatie
May 12, 2012
Mirn-Be hopeful! I am sitting here on the first day of my commitment to post about my progress, and I am feeling that maybe I can get through today without picking. We just have to take it bit by bit through the day.
ladykatie
May 13, 2012
Well, I am continuing to air my dirty laundry; my ugly habit took over once more. I did so well all day yesterday and then totally crumbled last night when I was alone. So here I am, 9am on Sunday morning, with hope that today is a renewing day, and I will report back tomorrow morning with more successful results. Here goes another restart, for the millionth time. Gotta have hope and faith in myself though!!
ladykatie
May 14, 2012
Today's update: In the last 24 hours, I picked at my face five times. I felt one small bump under the skin this morning, and just couldn't resist, which led to four more. Sure, it isn't the zero I wanted, but I think I should be cautiously happy with myself, as I have to have realistic goals and realize that progress will take time and patience with myself. At least I stopped there...Regardless, I am glad that I am writing in this forum as it gives me the chance to reflect upon my behavior, be accountable, and perhaps gain some insight. I wish I could be even kinder and more patient with myself, and reward myself for the small steps forward I take. Baby steps...
ladykatie
May 15, 2012
In the last 24 hours, I picked my face 7 times. Again, not zero, but at least I am conciously tracking. I have found that keeping track of the time of day and my feelings when I have the urge to pick has helped me be more aware of triggers. I have also done my best to avoid mirrors, even taking down the one in my bathroom, to avoid looking and then picking. Sure, it isn't a long-term solution, but right now I am just trying to get through each day trying to kick this habit. Sigh... the exhausting fight continues.
ladykatie
May 15, 2012

In reply to by new day girl

Thank you so much! It is hard work, that needs to be taken moment to moment. It's too overwhelming to think long-term. I had a bad morning, actually following my latest post. But I am re-committed and feeling positive. This is such a minor thing compared to true tragedies that others are going through. I need to keep that in perspective and let go of this! Here's to continued hope...
ladykatie
May 16, 2012
Today will be counted as a success. Though not perfect, I did well; only picking four times. I think the fact that I was busy all day at work, in an optimistic mind set, and hopeful in a new skin care line that I purchased, helped greatly. I am continuing to make this a priority to write on here and also to take baby steps, not think long-term, in breaking this habit. That doesn't mean I didn't feel the temptation to pick or the anxiety that usually accompanies it. Rather, I am just working on thinking a bit longer before I break. I need to not get too ahead of myself though, and remain cautiously optimistic. One step at a time... Until tomorrow, and may I still be in such a positive mind frame, with similar success.
ladykatie
May 17, 2012
Epic failure of a day. Sigh. Another try tomorrow to break this awful, consuming habit.
ladykatie
May 21, 2012
Well I wish my absence from posting came with good news. Rather, it came with typical results of a major picking episode. I just can't find balance! I try so hard to be perfect, which logically I know is impossible, only to naturally fail and then throw it all out the window. I have to figure out balance. But it's so hard. 8am on Monday the 21st...I am starting over!!
AngelSkin
May 21, 2012
woohoo yeah a little bit of encouragement for you. I am on day 3 with no squeezing (MAJOR achievement) but have been picking a little... but anyway. one day at a time. Good luck!

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