Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

SilentWreck , 13 Jul 2012

I just realized this is a disorder and I have it!

I am turning 26 next week and just realized, or was just honest enough with myself finally, to realize that I am addicted to picking my skin. I use tweezers and needles to pick, and cuticle clippers to cut the skin that is raised from picking so that the skin is smooth around the edges when I am finished, which in my mind means it will heal easier, but in actuality it does MUCH more damage. I have never admitted to anyone this is a problem, but it has been sine I was 13. I also bite/cut/pick my finger nails off until they are bloody. I pick at my legs and chest anytime there is an ingrown hair or a bump. I have got to stop! I just began my first "big girl" job as a psychologist, so you would think I would know how to NOT do this or how to quit it, but I don't. I have been doing it so long now that I cannot even believe I will be able to quit. I have to try. I used to think it was my "acne" that spurned this condition. So...I used antibiotics, topicals, and even was on Accutane for 10 months. My skin was flawless, but I kept picking it. I thought it was due to a lack of Serotonin/depression, so I underwent 6 months of therapy and am now on antidepressants (multiple). I STILL PICK!!!!! They cannot do anything else to help me medically. My acne is GONE and I am loaded with Effexor and Wellbutrin. I am also loaded with shame, guilt, and a newfound desire to quit. I do not want to suffer this, along with my anxiety and depression, forever. On most days, now that I have undergone therapy and am medicated, the only thing still difficult for me is the picking habit. The depression and anxiety are minor comparatively. Not only do I pick ANY tiny bump or dry skin, now I have moved onto picking the tiny, minuscule hairs, or hair follicles/pulps on my face. Even if there is not a hair there, I am now digging so deep I am pulling the part of the skin that grows the hairs out. I focus on my chin and between my eyes mainly, and even now I have a huge scab there. I am in a relationship with someone who doesn't say anything about it, but I know he notices and is probably disgusted with me. I am "beautiful" with makeup on, but I cannot even stand to look at myself without it. If I could post a picture you would be amazed because I have learned how to cover it up brilliantly. I know exactly which creams do what, and I have an over the counter/prescription arsenal, and I know how to use make up so that even the biggest wounds are nearly impossible to see. When it all comes off...that is another story. I am scarred all over. I am ugly. The spots are kind of like me...raw and open...wanting to heal. I am starting today. I am not going to pick for 30 days. Please please help me community of fellow pickers. I am a licensed psychologist and cannot turn to anyone in my area for therapy because I work with them all. This is my last ditch effort. I have already picked this morning and tore a 1/2 inch gap into the skin between my eyes. This has to stop. Day 1: Embarrassed but Optimistic- Here we go. I am severely addicted. I will post tomorrow to let you know how the night goes. It is Friday the 13th. I am going to hide my tweezers (weapon of choice) and begin taking fish oil, biotin, vitamin E, and beta-carotine to help with the healing process. If anyone has any comments or suggestions please share. I am going to OVERCOME this! I just need help and encouragement.
3 Answers
July 14, 2012
I would be happy to support and encourage you. This is an invaluable site and I am so grateful that I came across it. Optimism is so important, so it's great that you're feeling positive about your desire and ability to stop picking. I know that when I start to lose hope, everything falls apart. Congrats on your new job! That's a great achievement. And at least you never have to worry about how your skin looks at work - with those make up skills you've got! I've seen a couple of psychologists about this condition but they seem to need to figure out what caused me to start picking in the first place. I have put a lot of thought into it and I honestly don't know what it was. I'm guessing you don't know what life event made you start either. How do you feel about raising the issue of your picking with your partner? Most of the people on this forum who have shared their experiences with partners have had positive outcomes. Sure, they might not understand why we do it, but neither do we! I just find it's nice to have someone to open up to, to comfort you... Not to fix you but to accept you and love you. I really hope your night goes well and that you resist the urge to pull out those tweezers.
July 14, 2012
Thank you LDC. I am praying for you too. Day 2: I only pulled out the dull tweezers last night to pluck one hair. I am already feeling better about being able to stop this destruction. I even think my boyfriend was surprised I was in and out of the bathroom so quickly. The hole between my eyes is already looking better. I have begun taking an antibiotic so that none of these sores get infected because I know that will only worsen things and would make it nearly impossible to leave them alone. I have not decided to talk to my mate about this yet. I really think it is something I want to do for myself, although I am sure he would be supportive. I just want this for me, and I know if I am able to quit and my skin looks amazing, which it will, then he will reward me without even knowing it. He is so supportive and loving anyway, but I know when I regain confidence and control over this part of my life then he will notice and reinforce it. I may talk to him about it though. Does anyone have a positive or negative experience to share regarding disclosure of this problem to their partner?

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now