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forbetterdays , 24 Jul 2012

It's time to commit! - My progress

I have been struggling with picking my face ever since my teenage hormones kicked in and I got a minimum of impurities on my face. Now I am seventeen years old, and I don't really struggle with acne or anything anymore, I only have some clogged pores and an occasional pimple. My face would be more or less flawless - if it hadn't been for the fact that I can't stop picking my face. Up until very recently I never realized why I always picked my face so much and why I was never able to stop even though I was only hurting myself. It made me feel extremely guilty and depressed, not to mention self-consious, and I always had to put on tons of makeup to be able to face anyone. Then, about a month ago, I found this site, and it really helped me realize why it was so hard to stop. This is something I need to fight. It feels like I have tried everything, and still I keep on losing the battle. It has caused me so much pain, and really affected my self-esteem. So it's time to fight back, and to beat this thing. I bear in mind that this is not just a bad habit, and, as I think we all know, it takes a lot to be able to stop picking. My battle starts today. I am committing to fight this, and this will be where i write about my ups and downs, as well as everything that helps to keep my skin clear. I'll try posting my progress everyday. Please feel free to join in and to share you own tips and tricks. We can fight this. Fall down a thousand times, stand up a thousand and one. xx
28 Answers
forbetterdays
July 25, 2012
DAY 1 - So this day was horrible, it was what made me sign up to this page in the first place. It really made me realize I do have a serious problem. It's so scary, the way I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom picking and I keep on screaming for myself to stop inside my head and still I don't. It's like i'm two people, and this crazy, skin-picking version of me just takes over whenever I get to close to a mirror. It always happens before I get to bed. I'll just have to be more aware of that, and keep my hands busy when I stand in front of a mirror. I'll give this day a 4 out of 10 possible points. Tomorrow will be better!
jenekins
July 27, 2012

In reply to by forbetterdays

I do the same thing. Of course the skin-picking me tries to argue that some spots need to be picked so it's okay versus the spots that I pick at unecessarily. I'm going to try dimming the lights when I wash up tonight. Sometimes I soap up my mirror so I can't see clearly, but it never lasts long. Tomorrow will be better! (^ _^) / ~ ~
forbetterdays
July 27, 2012

In reply to by jenekins

Dimming the lights really helps! I try to keep some distance between my face and the mirror whenever I'm in the bathroom, only the skin-picking version is pretty messed up, and i convince myself that I only want to "examine" my skin, so I turn the lights back up and allow myself to stand far to close to the mirror. And that's not exactly a clever move for someone like me. I'm getting better, though. I tell myself that if I HAVE to look so closely at my skin, the condition is to keep my hands busy, so I usually just clench a towel or something. Anything to stop me from picking!
mmmmm
July 29, 2012

In reply to by forbetterdays

ugh, i'm like that..i stay away from the mirror but as soon as i look a bit i need to REALLY look..close. it' sucks because once you've seen something that 'shouldn't be there' you have to pick it if you leave it's just no good and it won't go you just notice it more, raah.
forbetterdays
July 25, 2012
DAY 2 - 6/10. Doing better, though I still picked today. It was nothing big though, no sessions, I only picked a few clogged pores and I stopped right away before taking off completely. Staying positive :)
mowmow
July 26, 2012
Skin picking is scary. I went to my doctor and couldn't even tell her, because it is just such an odd thing, I suppose. I told her I had anxiety which I'm sure I do, but couldn't bring myself to tell her what I do daily about the anxiety. I have since stopped the skin picking and I am so proud- but my self esteem is still coming back to where I'd like it. I had an awful time- I did the same thing, I said TODAY I AM STOPPING! But that today lasted for 2.5 months. Every day I told myself. Finally things healed and I didn't get at new ones. I've been using a lot of skin products, proactive and some aveeno things that have kept the breakouts away - I think that's a neccesity honestly, because if there's more to pick while you're trying to heal it gets frustrating and makes more problems.
forbetterdays
July 26, 2012

In reply to by mowmow

Congrats on stopping your picking!! Still working on that over here... And i totally agree, it's so much easier to stop picking when your skin is clear. Whenever I breakout because of stress, lack of sleep or eating bad food and so on, I always end up picking my face so much more than I usually would have. I hope that I will be able to stop my picking entirely too. Even though I still pick, I do feel like I am getting better at stopping myself whenever I slip, and moving on before really messing up my face. Not giving up!
forbetterdays
July 26, 2012
DAY 3 - 5/10 Um... Well, today could have been better. I am going through some really stressful things in my life right now, and I've basically done nothing but to sit around worrying all day. I actually did really good, barely touching my face all day, until I slipped when i was getting ready for bed (I was still really stressed out and I didn't even notice what I was doing at first). I feel really angry with myself for even letting myself stand so close to the mirror, especially before washing my face, because that is nearly always when I pick! I need to be more aware of that when I go to wash my face, and I need to turn down the lights in the bathroom. That really helps, only I keep turning them back up "so I can see my face properly". I need to be more strict about that. On the bright side, I don't think I did any lasting damage to my skin. So I guess that's good, as long as I remember I won't be so lucky next time...
msmadness
September 08, 2012

In reply to by forbetterdays

Your process is similar to mine. Which is why I hope you dont feel offended when I say: do you notice that we pick almost every day? Things that I find work: I dont look in the mirror. I walk right past, pee, and leave. I wash my face at night, with the lights off, feel refreshed and go to bed. I've adopted an "in denial" approach where I tell myself there is nothing wrong so I try not to look at my skin. For me its not really my face, it used to be, but its my arms. MY ARMS ARE BAD. BAAAD. School is starting, I'm in university, so I bought a few long sleeve shirts to hide it. This whole summer I made a theme "a summer of healing" and the whole summer was almost fantastic. I picked notably 7 times (according to my journal) but minor picking almost every day. And if I hadnt kept that log, I honestly would have told myself "but you barely picked!" But I did. I flip through pages and every other page it starts with "ugh i picked. But not so bad. Just a bit. Itllbe okay" two-three days later: "AHH.FML. WWhats wrong with me! I ruined my skin." So I know how it feels and how annoying and disappointing it can be when we succumb to what feels like a frustrating and overwhelming yet simplistic difficulty. My biggest fear is that my skin wont heal, it wont look "perfect" so I give up and give in. Don't make excuses about "good" picking and "bad" picking. Picking is picking. It all needs to stop. Try 7 days cold turkey. Do some ridiculous things to avoid it if you have to. I dont think we need to turn on the lights to wash our face. Cut your nails and put something on your hands to make it more difficult to pick!! i hope we can stop this!!
forbetterdays
July 27, 2012
I've realized what I really hate about my picking, is that sometimes I do it quite "successfully", meaning that I squeeze out a couple of blackheads and that's it. Not a single mark or wound or irritation left. That really makes hard to stop picking entirely! Sometimes I just think like oh well, I'll just squeeze that clogged pore and that'll be it. And sometimes I succeed and that's that, but most of the time I just end up making a huge red mark around the pore, making it irritated so that I'll be sure to wake up with a huge pimple the next day. Then usually I just keep on picking all over my face feeling hopeless, and I lose myself completely. What I need is a reminder of how often it goes wrong, and how horribly bad it makes me feel. Doing well so far today, though, I only squeezed out a clogged pore... Successfully.
forbetterdays
July 27, 2012
DAY 4 - 7/10. I guess I did kinda good today, but I still picked a little, so it's definitely room for improvement. I didn't really do any damage to my skin, though. My skin has been breaking out a little lately because my eating has been kinda bad. Not really bad, though, it's just that my skin reacts so easily whenever I eat unhealthy stuff, and we've had leftover birthdate cake for dessert for like three days now. Bad skin really triggers my picking. So I think today was good given the circumstances. :) Gonna have a large glass of lemon water first thing in the morning. Lemon seriously work wonders, always making my skin clear up, and giving it this healthy glow. AND it makes your skin heal faster :)
forbetterdays
July 28, 2012
Feeling really motivated today :) Can't wait to go back to school feeling confident and happy about my skin. :)))))
forbetterdays
July 29, 2012
DAY 5 - Holy crap I picked. I PICKED. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Oh right. Dermatillomania. So much for feeling happy and motivated. All I want is to stop picking. And I can't. When I pick, I'm like a child who doesn't understand the consequences of what I am doing. I'm so disconnected from everything. And then I stop and I realize what I have done. And here I am. Feeling... I can't even describe it. I think the worst part is feeling so helpless. This is something that I can't control. If I could just say okay then, this will never happen again, and really believe it I would have been fine right now. I would have been so happy if that was the case. But I don't really believe that I will never pick again. But that doesn't mean I give up! If anything I'll try harder. I just want to stop picking. So I'll challenge myself. From now on, I won't even allow myself to pick on the very surface on my skin. Even if it's only a flake of dry skin. No picking whatsoever. I'll take one day at a time. One hour at a time. And i'm going to take this really seriously from now on. I realize I get too relaxed when I go without really damaging my skin for too long. I need to stay alert. The skin-picking version of me really can't be trusted. The most important thing is still to maintain a healthy lifestyle, though. Daily exercise and a healthy diet is one of the key points for me to stop picking. Lack of exercise was what triggered my picking today. The rain was pouring down outside all day, so I didn't go for my daily run, and the gym was closed today. I stayed at home all day. Too much energy builds up inside me, and I take it out on my skin. It happens far too often. But I guess all I can do is to keep on fighting back. Because I will win this battle, and I will be able to stop. Even if it takes me fifty years to stop entirely. I'm not giving up. Today is a 3/10. Tomorrow will be a 10. I owe that much to myself.
forbetterdays
July 29, 2012
DAY 6 - 10/10. No picking today. I feel great. Yesterday's picking session really got me thinking. I don't want to pick anymore. I won't pick anymore. I'm done. It feels really good to think that way :) I feel like I am finally fully committed to stopping. It's just not worth it. It will be super hard, that's for sure, but I believe that I'll be able to fight this. I'll do just as good tomorrow!
forbetterdays
July 30, 2012
DAY 7 - 9/10. Picked just the tiniest bit today, on one spot, but I still feel kinda bad. I just have to get over it though. Today was a good day. I'll be gone for a week from tomorrow on holiday, and I WILL NOT PICK while I'm away. I'll write about how I did when I get home :)
forbetterdays
August 07, 2012
DAY 8 - 15. I've been away on holiday for the last week, and i've done sort of good. I did pick a little in the beginning of the week before I was able to refocus, and I felt really bad about it... Still, I did alright. Now I'm back home and ready to really take care of my skin. Now that my picking is better, I'm focusing on the scars that I have on my face. My scars looks real bad when I don't wear makeup. The surface of my skin is mostly smooth, but I've got tons of red - deep red marks everywhere, especially on my cheeks right below my cheekbones. I think it's called hyperpigmetation. I think and hope that these red marks will go away with time, but I also know that it can take A LOT of time, so I'll do what I can to make it go faster. I can't really afford to do anything expensive though. Does anyone have any tips to make scars/hyperpigmentation fade? I'm thinking about trying something called the Egyptian Magic Cream. Has anyone tried this?
skreed29
August 07, 2012

In reply to by forbetterdays

ive been looking into scar treatment stuff too ! i prefer natural remedies to chemicals, and read a million reviews swearing by lemon juice. using it topically. so a few weeks ago i gave it a shot. when you first put it on everything gets really red, but when it was time for me to wash it off (about an hour later) i would always notice that my face looked more even, and much more pink than red. this is a temporary effect, but they say that if you do it consistently for a month or so you will see serious results. i did it for about two and a half weeks, and i wouldnt say it doesnt work because i saw a change in the small amount of time that i used it.. but when you put lemon juice on your face it stings in a really itchy burny irritating way that just makes you want to rip your face off. i would do a lot to feel beautiful but that was just not worth it to me.. some people say after a few days it stops stinging so bad, but not for me ! maybe my skin is just sensitive or something... so if you are desperate for really fast results, i would give it a try. if not, still maybe give a try. maybe it wont be so painful for you. good luck ! (:
forbetterdays
August 09, 2012

In reply to by skreed29

Yes, I've heard lemon juice is supposed to be good. I have actually given it a few tries when I was younger, before I realized my picking was the reason behind my scars, but I always sort of gave up on it after a few days, and I can't remember if it had any effect on my skin at all. Perhaps I'll give one more try. My skin is very sensitive too, though, so I'm picturing the lemon juice might make it dry and irritated. I've read about a homemade tonic somewhere made of green tea with apple vinegar and lemon juice in it. This might be a bit more gentle. I'm definitely going to try mixing something up :)

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