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extweaker , 11 Oct 2012

new here- need some help quitting and moral support

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I've been a picker for as long as I can remember, even as a kid whenever I had a scab or a pimple I just had to pick at it. It really didn't become a problem until I started using amphetamines at age 14. It started with abusing ADHD drugs and later progressed to using meth and crack. I'm now 18 and have been clean for about 3 months. During the time I was using drugs I started compulsively picking my face and arms. I would sometimes stand in front of the mirror and pick at my face with my fingernails for hours, leaving horrible bloody sores on my skin. Even though I'm clean now, I still can't stop picking my face. I seem to do it more when I'm anxious or stressed. I have a lot of scars from previous picking that I obsessively pick at. I also have acne which is getting worse because I pick at it. It's a vicious cycle that I've gotten myself into; I see a scar or pimple, I pick at it, it gets worse, and I pick at it again. I don't know how to stop! I hate the way my skin looks now and I'm ashamed to leave the house. Does anyone have any tips I could use to stop doing this and how I can get rid of the scars it's created? Thank you for your help and support.
6 Answers
curly
October 11, 2012
Just know that you're not alone, and things can and will get better. You will get control over it, it's just figuring out the right method that works for you. I have picked zits for as long as I can remember, and I still don't quite understand what the trigger is. But once I start I can't stop. I used to emerge from the bathroom or my bedroom with a swollen bleeding face, and wouldn't go to school out of sheer humiliation. I'd also frequently avoid going out w friends so I could stay in and let my face heal. i feel like that pattern totally dominated my highschool years which could have been awesome. It was at it's worst when I started taking adderall for my ADD- you just get hyper focused on picking, and you loose track of time. As of now, my skin is clear and I'm scar free, and I don't remember the last time I went on a picking spree. It's taken a while to figure out what works and what doesn't, but here's some things that have really worked for me: In the beginning, cover your mirrors, and get rid of magnification mirrors/any other mirror you use to pick. If you can't, dim the lights- purchase a dimmer even. it's cheap and makes a world of difference bc in the low light you can't see the blemishes as well and you're not as likely to pick. let your self pick only 1 or 2 if you absolutely have to and pull away- and feel proud of your self for being able to stop! That helped me alot. But you have to commit to walking away. In order to prevent scarring and to give my self an incentive to not pick, I schedule a medical facial peel. They run about 100, but if it works for you, it's totally worth it. It's a small price to pay if the picking is controling your life like mine did. However, if you're picking while you get the facials, it's going to be a waste of money. If you have deep impressions, consider restilin- it's a filler that plumps the skin back out. I view my picking as an addiction, because it is. It's a behavior that at a time in my life, I couldn't stop, and I know that if I let my self slip up, I'll be right back to being miserable again. Perhaps viewing the picking as an addiction will help you deal with it too. I hope this helps- I've never shared about my picking other than with immediate family because it was so embarassing to me. This is actually my first time on the site, but my heart went out to you bc i know it completely sucks and can dominate your life. I wish you the best, and know that you can overcome it.
extweaker
October 11, 2012

In reply to by curly

Thank you for your advice and support :) I know mirrors are a huge trigger for me so I'm going to follow your suggestion and cover them up. Congratulations on overcoming your picking addiction. I'm grateful that you were willing to share your story with me- I know it's a hard thing to do. It really does give me hope that I will be able to quit too.
sunlit_moon
October 11, 2012

In reply to by extweaker

Covering up the mirrors & dimming the lights REALLY helps. Sometimes, I don't even turn the lights on in the bathroom, especially if it's during the day. Hang in there. I'm right there with you. I admire you for being clean from the drugs. If you can do that, I believe you can overcome this too.
extweaker
October 12, 2012

In reply to by sunlit_moon

Thank you for your support, it really means a lot to me. And you're right, covering the mirrors really did help me a lot. I've only had them covered for one day so far, but I've only caught myself trying to pick my face twice today- much less than usual- and both times I was able to stop myself. I remind myself of the same thing, I was able to quit drugs so I know I will be able to quit picking too. I just have to work at it.
curly
October 12, 2012

In reply to by extweaker

That is so awesome! It takes alot of self control to stop picking. And be patient if you continue to have the desire to pick- you're working yourself out of a habit that holds alot of power over you. In time, it will be nothing more than an old habbit and picking won't even cross your mind.
curly
October 11, 2012

In reply to by extweaker

You're very welcome, and thank you! It actually wasn't until tonight that I realized there was a name for this, and that others experienced it too! It feels good to finally share what I've experienced, because it's something so few of my friends would understand. At the worst times in the picking- maybe you find this too- you push people away. But know you're not alone, and that if you can overcome a drug addiction, you can and will certainly overcome this! Trial and error is all it is : ) Another thing I recommend- research the negative affects of long term picking on the skin. The skin looses it's ability to heal and in the worst cases, life threatening clots can form. It's enough to make me pause and think before I pick!

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