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nastyab , 03 May 2013

picked after about 10 days of being clean

Well....i picked today. What else is new? I just felt like writing about my issue on this forum and, maybe another person will read it and be able to relate or give advice. Maybe, this will even help someone, which would be great. I guess I can consider myself a skin picker in recovery. I used to pick very heavily in college and high school, and now I am 27 and pick at my face, check and back about once a week. Usually I do it when I'm stressed, upset or have PMS. I'll notice a tiny blackhead or a small pimple, which nobody else can probably notice. Once you pick one, it's over. And I don't mean it's over, as if you are done picking. I mean it's over for my logic and sense and it is up to my wild, compulsive addicted inner self to kill my skin, my self esteem and my plans for that Friday night. I told my boyfriend about my skin picking addiction a few weeks ago. He's the first person I've told. I explained that sometimes he'll see me upset for no reason because I'm mad at myself for relapsing and picking. One time, I picked at ONE pimple and got so upset, I couldn't even talk to him for hours. I had to explain to him what my problem is. He listened and seemed to understand. He reassured me that my skin looked beautiful and I was a beautiful woman. I am so lucky to have such a kind man. I definitely got a lot better at controlling myself. What helps for me is to stop myself from picking the very FIRST pimple or blackhead or scab or whatever. We are like alcoholics. We can't have one drink and stop. I also, stick to a strict beauty routine to eliminate all the pimples I can. The fewer imperfections there are, the less likely we are to pick. My third trick is to keep busy and keep social. You are not going to have time to pick if you are having fun with your friends and family. I picked at my chest. I was able to stop myself from going to my face. I have an audition for a musical a day after tomorrow and if my pimples don't heal after tonight, I'm going to look a mess. Lots of concealer will be needed and I will still feel self-couscous, as if everyone is staring at my scabs. Sigh... Well, tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to start from scratch. My relapses happen less and less often, so I guess I'm making progress. Let me know what you guys think, or feel free to post any comments and thoughts. Anastasia
5 Answers
May 04, 2013
Anastasia, I can 100% relate. I'm sitting here on the brink of tears because this disease has controlled me again tonight. I've gone for periods with stopping - as long as 28 days! But then it's one pimple. And then the next night, 3. And then my the third night it's as if I'm a completely different person. I need help. I wonder how you are doing now? I hope well. Do you have any advice how to even go one day without picking?
May 04, 2013

In reply to by Lily19

Hi Lily. :) I'm going to give you my basic principles of staying sober. 1. I got myself a good dermatologist and a good skincare routine. This way I have as few pimples as possible. If you fewer pimples, you have the less likely you are to pick. 2. Keep busy. Keep busy. Keep busy. Go to the gym, hang out with your friends, join a dancing class, etc. The less time you spend at the house the less likely you are to stare at yourself in the mirror and look for imperfections. 3. What I do is talk to myself every time I am likely to go pick. I just keep telling myself: "Anastasia let it go. It will be worse if you pick at it. Just leave it alone and go away." That way if you're tempted really just talk yourself through letting go and walking away. Those are my basic principles. What do you think? Feel free to add to the list.
May 04, 2013
Good luck for the audition, wow I can so relate to that except for the boyfriend part. I want to be a singer when I grow up so I would love to be in a musical but my skin is so bad that I will have to cover it up with clothes for my audition. I have to stop picking my skin, pimples, lumps, bumps, red blemishes, spots. Your boyfriend is so understanding and you should keep him he sounds nice. I need help with my skin problem any suggestions on how to stop?
May 04, 2013

In reply to by ishouldstoppic…

Hi girl :). I wrote my top suggestions below because Lily asked me the same question. Thanks for the support. My audition is in a few hours and my skin looks ok. Don't let this issue stop you from doing things you love to do. If you got talent and your skin is not perfect, make up can fix that. Sign up for some sort of audition and just go for it. :)
May 05, 2013

In reply to by nastyab

Thank you for replying to my comment. You inspire me and I know I need to stop and everyone on this site is so nice, welcoming and helpful towards me. I know I'm not alone now. I need to stop picking so I can have the skin i had when I was 12 years old and younger. If I hadn't picked I wouldn't have these hideous scars that I have to cover up and hide with clothes all the time.

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