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Iwillpickneveragain , 29 Jul 2013

No more picking journal

I am 17 male and have been picking KP on my arms and chest for as long as I've had it (since around 12?) I also have trouble with picking blackheads on my back/shoulders which usually become irritated and turn into big painful pimples (either that or they're popping up out of nowhere). I think my picking started when I was little. When I got in trouble my parents made me stand in a corner and I'd pick paint off the wall, it was a stress reliever and as I got older I'd pick any scabs I got and would take months to fully heal. I'm making this for log/journal thing for myself to post my progress, and hopefully quit picking for good, I feel that if this is online for other people to see it'll be easier for me stop. Whenever I tell myself I'll stop picking I just can't, I haven't gone a single day without picking something, as of right now I have around 80 red marks on my chest, arms and back. So here starts my quest to stop picking, I'll be posting daily on my progress.
59 Answers
Trying-to-Look…
July 30, 2013
You can do it, I am currently holding myself accountable by using this as well! We can support each other on here and it gives me guilt to have to admit on here that I picked again. Keep it up! I am also on my second day. We can do it! :) Also, I don't know if this would help you, but I mainly pick when there is something dry there, like a scab that I can grab onto. I have been putting lotion on whenever I run my hands over something that feels like I want to pick. I immediately run to the bathroom or reach in my purse and pull out my lotion and put it on there. That smooths it out and softens the scab, so it's just not as appealing. You could try that. It also keeps my hands busy because I am still doing something with the spot, just not picking it. :)
Trying-to-Look…
August 01, 2013

In reply to by Iwillpickneveragain

No problem! I am really getting excited about this. I have not picked since posting this. I have been using both lotion and vitamin e oil. I feel healthier and happier when I don't pick. I am crossing my fingers that we can both keep this up! :)
Iwillpickneveragain
August 01, 2013
3rd day of no picking done! I'm feeling better already, I figure after about a week or two of absolutely no picking I can break the habit for good.
Trying-to-Look…
August 02, 2013

In reply to by Iwillpickneveragain

I would definitely say a week would be a great goal! After that, change your goal to a month with no picking! Woohooo, you are doing awesome! :) The 3rd day for me was not as successful as yours! I got a small whitehead, but I pricked it with a needle and just barely pushed (not squeezed) the pimple. It drained and I immediately put some medicine on it. I hate to say it, but I was actually a little proud of myself for that. I would normally dig it out until it was completely flat and raw. Instead, I left the raised bump alone with the medicine and VOILA! The bump subsided and now the skin looks almost normal! It is finally starting to register that you don't need to dig it out until it's flat and instead the swelling will reduce on it's own. I got tested today, and I think I passed (barely)! So, I can't say I didn't pick, but I still resisted. You should start rewarding yourself. I keep telling myself that if I can stop picking, then I can go get a dress I have been wanting! :)
Iwillpickneveragain
August 02, 2013
Well it's been I think 4 days of no picking so far, I've been making great progress I have no more scabs on my arms and my back acne is gone but there is still red marks left over from the scabs. But I gotta admit when I was taking my shirt off to take a shower I picked a 5 KP bumps on my chest and then I realized what I was doing and made myself stop, it's like I subconsciously do it before even giving myself time to think. It's pretty demoralizing that I can't even go 4 days without picking something, I guess this is attempt 2 day 1. Some things I'm gonna do differently: use lotion on chest: I've just been using it on arms and has been working great, but haven't used it on chest which is where I picked. Stop looking in mirrors: before I go into the bathroom to take a shower I'll tell myself to just go straight to the shower and not look into the mirror seeing any bumps on my skin makes me want to pick. I'll also write something on my hand reminding me to not pick hopefully this attempt will do the trick. @rubberducke: Yes please do!
Trying-to-Look…
August 05, 2013

In reply to by Iwillpickneveragain

Sorry I have been MIA, I went out of town this weekend (I know, it's dreadful going out of town with friends when you have this!) But, don't only count the days that you do not pick at all. To be quite honest, at this stage in the game, since we are both on our first week, I have just been working on telling myself "no". I will pick a little, especially if there is a white head, but I will not allow myself to sit there and dig the entire thing raw. You are NOT on Day 1 again, so don't even try saying that. If you stopped yourself and walked away, then count the day and move on! I popped a white head on my cheek, but normally I would dig and dig until I thought that I got it all out. I am so afraid of waking up in the morning to a HUGE pimple that I try and dig every last bit of puss out. Instead, I wake up with a huge scab! So, this time, I only popped it and put Salicylic Cream on it and walked away. I woke up and there was another white head there. I popped it, then put a little makeup on it. Tonight when I washed my face, it was flat and healing. SO, just because there is a whitehead and it comes back, don't dig and dig, instead, just keep slowly draining it, even if it takes 2-3 times. THIS IS MY LESSON TODAY. Keep your head up, this is not day 1.
rubberducke
August 05, 2013

In reply to by Trying-to-Look…

I've noticed that they tend to come back when you pop them. Then I end up popping the same one multiple times until it gets infected, because I'm to hard on it. But that is a good lesson, although I am on day one right now.
rubberducke
August 05, 2013
I went on a short trip with my aunt, and mostly avoided picking, except last night. Then I covered my face with my hair and refused to look at anyone, then got into bed facing the wall. It was humiliating, because I was pretty sure they knew what I was doing. School starts in ten days and I really want to have decent skin, because most people at school probably know me as the girl with weird scabs and I hate the looks I get. People usually don't say anything, although no one has a problem with telling me that my chewed up fingers gross them out. It makes me want to wear gloves all the time. Maybe a ski mask too.
Trying-to-Look…
August 05, 2013

In reply to by rubberducke

I know how you feel, I just got back from a weekend with friends and at the end of the night, I told them I was taking a bath. I filled the bath with water, washed up and got out ASAP. I spent the rest of my "bath time" reapplying my concealer over all of my old scabs, just so I could face them again. This is the only time I sleep in makeup because I cannot face them at all, even in the dark with these on. So, you are already braver than me! I ended up on this site, after last week when I mixed several acne medications on my face until I was left with a gash the size of a quarter on my cheek along with the entire left side of my face completely swollen. It was so bad that I was put on steriod cream and was given injections at the Dr. I had to walk into work looking like this and told my boss I had an "allergic reaction" to Mederma because I cannot face my acne. After that lie, I had to tell the truth to my Dr. who just could not believe it. After Googling hundreds of things, I found this outlet. Stay up on here, it has really helped me. I read just about every post because it makes me feel less alone. I have opened up about it now with my mom and sister, who ACTUALLY HAS THE SAME PROBLEM. I almost died when she said that. You will have a couple rough days, but hold yourself accountable on here and confess everything. I always think about @Iwillpickneveragain when I get in front of the mirror and how bad I will feel cheering him on, but then going and reeking havoc on my face. I haven't dug into my skin in 5 days now. I have picked, but only to gently pop a whitehead with a small needle and drain it with tissue. Things I think "normal people" do. I have left my scabs alone too. One thing that I suggest doing is when you run your hands over a scab and you feel how dry it is and you just want to rip it off...put a dab of lotion on it. It softens the scab and it makes it a lot less appetizing to me. It may work for you too! Stay up on here! We need each other. Since I got on here and my picking has gone down, my skin has started to heal. It is no where near perfect, but WAY better. In 10 days, we can have you looking better, just come on here instead of picking. When you get the urge, read about others on here. It helps, I promise!
rubberducke
August 05, 2013

In reply to by Trying-to-Look…

I agree. I read what other people say, and say things myself, it comforts me. But I confess, I picked last night. Literally, I was on this site, locked the computer, and went to the bathroom for a half hour to pick. I felt terrible because while I was doing it, I kept thinking of everyone on here, and how we all want to stop, but I couldn't fight it. I always have something on my face to "help". Last night I washed it and but on benzoyl peroxide, but it still looks bad. I have to spend today with my dad. When I went on vacation with him to see his new wife and family, I didn't pick at all. Maybe because I felt like I had someone to impress, and I didn't want them to judge me. But the very night I got back, I picked again before bed. But I still didn't stop picking my fingers. Picking my face makes me feel worst, and is most obvious, but my fingers are hardest to stop. I only need one hand to do it, and even as I type this I'm still doing it. I think it's hardest to stop because it's so easy to do. I'm gonna go put on lotion.
rubberducke
August 06, 2013
So I've officially gone a day without picking my face, but I still have a few hours left to go. This is when I pick the most, so I have to distract myself. Avoid mirrors at all costs.
rubberducke
August 06, 2013

In reply to by rubberducke

Just kidding. Sigh. So just now I picked a little, mostly around old scabs. But still, I hate that I am so weak. Fortunately, I managed to leave before I got totally sucked in, so I'm not too mangled, but I'm still pissed at myself.
Iwillpickneveragain
August 06, 2013

In reply to by rubberducke

Damn that sucks. I used to pick daily as well, using this site and having people know about my problem is the only thing really keeping me from picking more, I guess it makes me feel guilty when I post that I've picked. What helps me is carrying a little bottle of lotion and whenever I'm about to pick (always in the bathroom) I rub some on the bumps I was going to pick. Also if you don't mind having short fingernails trimming them daily so that they're too short to pick with helps tons for me because no matter how much I want to pick, I cant.
Trying-to-Look…
August 07, 2013

In reply to by Iwillpickneveragain

I am so glad that you are doing so well! I am doing so much better and FOR ONCE am looking forward to taking my little cousins to a waterpark. I am not as worried about my makeup running and showing my scabs. Right now, I have pimples, but they are normal-people pimples, not the raw, huge craters I used to make in my face that would bleed everytime I smiled. Now that my wounds are closed up, I still have some red marks, so I switched the lotion to Vitamin E oil. However, when I talked to my Dr. about it, she said to be careful with the natural oils. Coconut oil is apparently really bad on the skin because it helps bacteria spread! Which, I didn't know, so I was mixing Vitamin E with Coconut! I then checked my Vitamin E oil and Coconut oil was also an ingredient. I went and got "Nature's Bounty" E-Oil 30,000 IU and instead of Coconut oil, it has Lemon oil! So, this has been helping tons and does not make me break out. If you want, you could try this too! The bottle was $10 at Walgreens. Congrats! I am so glad we have each other!!!

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