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iamloved , 29 Apr 2014

Has anyone tried just letting people see the scars?

I have KP and been picking for 2 years and have scars on my arms and legs form it. I have a lot of them (dozens) but none are bigger than the size of a small pea. I am wondering if anyone has just let people see the scars and when they ask what it's form just straight-out tell them, and how did it go? Because I've read a lot of posts and everyone tries to hide it (I do to) but since there are so many people like us, why are we so ashamed? Any feedback would be awesome :)
18 Answers
samspade11
April 30, 2014
I've been opening up to a select few. It is uncomfortable to talk about but once it's not a secret anymore I think it's easier to accept it. I have talked to my mom, sister, boyfriend and even a coworker who picks as well. I don't feel as alone now because I have people to tell my feelings to and I am able to work through it better.
heikkilae
May 28, 2014

In reply to by iamloved

I am an elementary teacher, which makes it really hard. The children are always curious as to why I have marks; sometimes I tell them it's poison ivy (when in season) and other times I say my dog scratched me. My family, roommate, and close friends knew the truth years ago; However, last weekend I finally started telling others the truth because my dog is currently being trained to be a service dog for skin picking and anxiety. It was liberating! I knew they would eventually find out because of my dog, so I figured--what the heck--I will be honest. .
Jutta
June 22, 2014

In reply to by heikkilae

I've only been able to do this recently. I had a really bad combination of kp/ stress/ and hormonal strangeness after I had my IUD removed two years ago. I still have resultant scars on my arms. Some places, such as work, I tend to cover my arms even in the middle of July due to air conditioning. At places like the gym, unless my arms were virtually bleeding, I would try my best to ignore people and "not care" about whether they saw my arms or not.
silkemarie
May 12, 2014
I pick pretty badly on my arms and chest, well over a decade now. A few years ago I got fed up with wearing sweaters in the summertime and just wear what I want now, low cut shirts, sleeveless tops, whatever. Very few people say anything. Sometimes if I don't feel like explaining it I just say I had an allergic reaction, mostly if I'll never see that person again. If anyone says anything it's usually a kid and I just say it's bug bites. They say okay and get over it. If I'm hoping to get to know someone better and they ask or I notice they're looking at it, I tell them. It's an anxiety thing, it's a habit I'm trying to break. I'm not ashamed anymore, hiding from it hasn't helped. If it bothers them and they don't wanna see me again, fine. It's their problem. No one who truly cares is gonna worry about it. Most people don't notice it, honestly. I promise. Think about the last time YOU saw someone that had ezcema on their face or something? You may notice it for a second but it's not going to stick on your mind. Your scars or wounds won't bother anyone else for more than a second, IF they notice it. Try it. It's good for our abused skin to breathe, and if you can learn to not BE your picking, maybe you'll be less inclined to pick? It's worth a shot :)
pollutedessence
May 19, 2014
I recently just "came out" to the government...literally. I was pretty afraid that I would get kicked out of the military if I admitted it, but I kick ass at work/don't let it hinder my job. I'm working on getting help. I was pretty afraid, but I figured living with this for the rest of my life would be worse than getting discharged from the military. ------------------------------ I stopped wearing sweaters my junior year in high school; no one really paid much attention to my arms and everyone just though I had bad acne at the time. It feels great to wear shorts and tshirts in public; it definitely takes some confidence at first. I just recently started telling my close friends and family about it. I've never had had a stranger ask me what my scars were from-I can't remember if anyone did in HS or not or if I just hid it with sweaters, but I would say go for it! Don't let anyone get you down. They don't realize how strong you are for what you're dealing with. I would straight up tell anyone who tried to put me down for it that they have an ugly personality. Hope this helps. :)
iamloved
May 21, 2014

In reply to by pollutedessence

Yes it does help, thanks! I really want to do this, but I'm just so afraid of how people are going to judge me, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I know that people who care about me will understand, but it's still going to be hard.
ri4821
July 25, 2014

In reply to by iamloved

What I find easiest is to bring it up yourself first, before anyone has the chance to comment on it! Puts you in control and people tend to be pretty receptive to the honesty. (If they aren't, it's their problem and they're not worth your time!) This is actually something people who stutter do sometimes, as a social coping strategy. It reduces their anxiety and actually may make them less likely to stutter. (I'm studying speech therapy by the way..) =)
beebabs
May 26, 2014

In reply to by pollutedessence

I came out to a few in my family recently. I'm 54 and been doing this since I was a child. Still do. When people do comment (often enough to be annoying) about my arms or whatever they like to tell me how to fix it. Not knowing it's a mental issue. I get a little upset when small children stare at my arms. So I've gone back to long sleeves, no shorts, bandaids, etc. I think people think I'm a meth-head when they see it. I think its5very impolite to ask people what's wrong but they do.
beebabs
May 26, 2014

In reply to by pollutedessence

I came out to a few in my family recently. I'm 54 and been doing this since I was a child. Still do. When people do comment (often enough to be annoying) about my arms or whatever they like to tell me how to fix it. Not knowing it's a mental issue. I get a little upset when small children stare at my arms. So I've gone back to long sleeves, no shorts, bandaids, etc. I think people think I'm a meth-head when they see it. I think its5very impolite to ask people what's wrong but they do.
sajmai
May 28, 2014
I try, I try, I try. During the summer, I will wear a racerback only tank to the front door and then I end up turing back around to put on something else covering my back . I actually dont mind my chest and face being out for the most part but its my back that has me stuck in the house and embarrassed that I have scars. I am slowly buliding the courage to wear my racerback tanks but I dont know if I will ever be able to wear a competely open back outfit or swimsuit. I spend up wards to 100-200 dollars on my swimsuit every year to make sure it covers as much back as possible. Its a war in my mind constantly. I feel your pain. But above all its all about courage and and being secure in who you are. I'm just not there yet. Good Luck and I wish you all the best!
iamloved
May 29, 2014

In reply to by sajmai

Yes I know exactly how you feel! So many times I think "today I'll wear a t-shirt!" but it never happens. And same, I pick a bit at my face too but that doesn't really bother me, maybe cos it's more common? But yes I do think it is about courage and confidence, it's just so hard to get to that point! Good luck to you too!
ri4821
July 25, 2014
Hi-- I'm 22 and I kind of do a combination of things. I do the typical "crap what can I actually wear in my closet in Florida heat?!" nonsense when my skin looks really bad. So yes, If I've just recently picked and everything is very fresh and obvious, I try to cover it up. But I've told people about it. One time I told a girlfriend I wasn't coming to her pool party- this was actually rather recently-- because the picking was so bad and I was embarrassed by it. I told her I have OCD and I'm just struggling with it right now. She was really kind and understanding- even encouraged me to join anyway, and just wear regular clothing! I've also explained it to significant others/ potential significant others... they often seem perplexed at first but thus far have been nice about it. It doesn't seem to be a huge deal to them. Ultimately I think the battle is with ourselves. Self-acceptance is a wonderful thing and we should all strive towards that first!
JulieD
July 31, 2014

In reply to by ri4821

This is great! I'm happy to hear that you are starting to accept yourself & open up to others about picking. In my experience covering up the issue with clothes/makeup, or not going out & having fun with friends because I was ashamed of my skin just made the issue worse. I suggest being more open with your friends/girlfriend about it. You'll be surprised at how much it helps to just have someone to talk to, someone who wont judge you.
JulieD
July 31, 2014
I was ashamed of my picking when I was younger and I used to cover it up. I mainly picked at my upper arms & back so baggy tees or long sleeved shirts were what I lived in from age 12-17 or so. Then I started to accept the issue, and accept myself (as cheesy as that sounds) so I abruptly stopped covering up. My advice is to not be ashamed of the problem. In my experience that only made things worse. Wear tank tops & shorts, don't wear makeup to cover up your face. Just be you & accept yourself for who you are. You may pick at your skin, but thats not who you are. Covering up with clothes just makes you feel like you are hiding a part of yourself from the world. And if you're feeling extra daring, be honest and open when/if people ask about your scars/scabs.
Kanga
August 18, 2014
Hi, I hate to be the debby downer of the bunch, but I havent come out to anyone. In fact, that is why I joined this site today. I have gone out without makeup and wearing short sleeves, but then someone would ask me why I am "polka-dotted" or stare at me as I walk by. I would always use the excuse my mother used, that I was a "night-picker" or blame everything on a hike, my multitude of cats, my teething puppy or that my skin heals very slowly. In fact, the other day my brother asked why I was "night-picking" again, for I have two very large open lacerations on my hands that are far too big to be covered by bandaids. I dont own a pair of shorts, and I would never wear a bathing suit. For the most part my scars are in places that people cant see, and that is intentional. I havent seen a doctor about my pickings, so I am afraid that people will reject my assertion, claiming that I am trying to appeal to the "romance" of having a condition with a name. I'm sorry about being a Negative Nancy. Thanks for reading.
Kanga
August 18, 2014
Hi, I hate to be the debby downer of the bunch, but I havent come out to anyone. In fact, that is why I joined this site today. I have gone out without makeup and wearing short sleeves, but then someone would ask me why I am "polka-dotted" or stare at me as I walk by. I would always use the excuse my mother used, that I was a "night-picker" or blame everything on a hike, my multitude of cats, my teething puppy or that my skin heals very slowly. In fact, the other day my brother asked why I was "night-picking" again, for I have two very large open lacerations on my hands that are far too big to be covered by bandaids. I dont own a pair of shorts, and I would never wear a bathing suit. For the most part my scars are in places that people cant see, and that is intentional. I havent seen a doctor about my pickings, so I am afraid that people will reject my assertion, claiming that I am trying to appeal to the "romance" of having a condition with a name. I'm sorry about being a Negative Nancy. Thanks for reading.

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