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mbpayne , 13 May 2014

Skin Picker Looking for Support

I have been reading these forums and most of you have a very similar story to mine, but I feel like it would be therapeutic to tell what I've been through just to get it down in writing. I started picking almost five years ago, when I started grad school. I had always had fairly clear skin, but all of the sudden I started getting the occasional cystic pimple, which I would pick until it forms a scar (I still have a small one on my cheek hanging around..). Ever since that time, I have tried countless things to get myself to stop. I have started a behavior log, bought hundreds of dollars worth of skin products, got microdermabrasion treatments, chemical peels (don't do this if you are a picker! It makes your skin flake and turns your face into a picker's playground), and I've seen a dermatologist more times than I can count. I went to a therapist a year ago for about six months. I spent all the money I had and I improved slightly. However... a few months later I got engaged. With the stress of planning a wedding and picking up a second job (I'm a school psychologist by day) to afford the wedding, the picking came back with a vengeance. I had an awesome makeup artist on my wedding day and everyone said I looked beautiful, but I just wanted to hide the entire day. I just got back from my honeymoon and I felt the same way, not wanting to go to the pool and caking makeup on my face every few hours. My husband knows that I pick and he hates it. He wants me to go to therapy again but sometimes I have little hope that I can get help. I'm afraid that I'll lose him if I don't stop. I have missed more days of work than I can count due to being ashamed and embarrassed about my face. I worry that this will cost me my career too. Face picking has dominated my life for five years. My face is all I can think about- probably 95% of the time I am worrying about how my face looks. I feel like skin picking has taken my life from me. I know this was long and rambling, but thanks for listening. Any tips are appreciated :)
5 Answers
b.stephanie46
May 13, 2014
I'm just about to go to University next year and I'm going through the same thing as you. Even though I've ruined my face and most of all my back and chest, I can't stop. I'm looking for someone to try and stop with me, updating each other everyday to make sure we have a motivation to stop. One trick that has slightly helped me is removing all the mirrors from my room, especially the one on my desk. When I'm bored or studying, I pick because the mirror is right there. Have you tried that?
mbpayne
May 13, 2014

In reply to by b.stephanie46

I think that's a great idea! It's always good to have someone hold you accountable. My husband has offered to do this but I feel ashamed to admit my picking to him because he doesn't get how hard it is to stop. I think it would be a lot easier to talk to someone who gets what I'm going through :) I have tried covering mirrors before and I don't have many in my house- the bathroom mirror is my big problem. I may try dimming the lights, though that won't really work for putting on makeup! Another thing that I've tried is setting a three minute timer while getting ready for bed..which is a big picking time for me. I have just enough time to wash my face, brush my teeth and get out. Feel free to share your progress with me! (Today I have been pick-free for about 10 hours :) )
b.stephanie46
May 14, 2014

In reply to by mbpayne

I didn't touch my skin for a good 8 hours today, but then I did... but a lot less than usual, so I guess that's progress! I'll try to go for nothing tomorrow. It was mostly because I didn't have any access to mirrors, but then again that didn't stop me from picking scabs off my face. I usually touch my skin when I'm feeling down and depressed, stressed or upset. I usually do it before an exam or when I just feel ugly. I've isolated myself for the last two years, not going out once. I've lost my friends and my life outside of school. And because of that, I just pick more because I know I have nowhere to go, and no one will judge me. My biggest motivation to stop is probably when I have an event to attend or when someone shows an interest in me and I don't want to disappoint them. What are your motivations? My name is Stephanie by the way, its nice to meet you :)
mbpayne
May 16, 2014

In reply to by b.stephanie46

My name is Megan,nice to meet you too :) 8 hours is a good amount of time! For me, anyway. I have been able to get my picking down to about once a day. It definitely feels like a setback when I go four almost a whole day without picking and then give in to the impulse, even if it is for a few minutes. I've gotten pretty good about not picking bumps on my skin, but like you I have a problem with messing with scabs because you don't need a mirror! Most of the time I picked when I'm stressed, though I have generalized anxiety so I'm stressed pretty often. I tend to scrutinize my skin and I get agitated if it's not perfect. I know what its like to feel isolated because of my picking. You're not alone! I am going to a friend's wedding this weekend and I think I had the urge to pick in order to try and improve my skin before then. Kind of backfired, haha. Keep me updated on your progress, and don't beat yourself up about a few slip-ups! Progress is progress :)
b.stephanie46
May 25, 2014

In reply to by mbpayne

I totally gave in to picking all over again after about a week pickfree. AND my arms were perfectly fine for 2 months (!!!) and then I made a mess of them three days ago. I'm trying not to pick on off days, so today is an offday and so far so good. You?

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