Finally posting. Something I think I need to do.

Hi everyone. I know from reading your posts that you understand what I am going through. I just need to talk to someone who understands. I have been picking my skin pretty much since I was a child. I went through phases where I would only pick at the tops of my thighs (often people would think I had bug bites). In middle school I pulled my hair on the sides of my head until there were bald spots. Thankfully I was able to stop that. However, the skin picking continues. I have tried to reduce my picking with will power which has always ended up with me being good for a couple days followed by a day with intense picking. For a while I was taking Paxil for depression. It is possible that my skin picking was somewhat reduced but I weaned myself off of it (with guidance from my phycologist at the time). It bothers me that I can't stop picking. I pick my arms, my legs, my scalp, pretty much anywhere I have a skin blemish or perceived one. It frustrates my husband that I am destroying my skin and can't do anything about it. I know some of my triggers: stress, anxiety, being alone near a light or in the sun, even wearing t-shirts or tank tops because I look at my arms. I go through phases where it is better and worse. It seems particularly bad right now. I am considering getting professional help but I don't want to have to take medications with side effect issues. The Paxil helped but it did have side effects I didn't care for like weight gain, tiredness and twitching. I tried to bring the picking up with my regular doctor and I felt like she brushed it off as no big deal. She said that many people are compulsive skin pickers and didn't offer anything further. My dermatologist (only been seeing him once a month for a couple of months) was equally dissapointing with his answer. I mentioned that I was a compulsive skin picker and he just nodded. I think I am ready to try and stop this. I can't go on like this. Any time I am alone and even sometimes when I am not I find myself drawn to picking. I have had it. I just need to talk to someone who can help me with this. Thanks for listening.