so i never realized that other people did this..

People around me think it's "a bad habit" and don't realize how much it really consumes and affects my life. My fingers are all scabbed over and always infected. I pick my cuticles really bad. But you're not alone. I've been on this site for about a week now and the people that post and talk in the forum are so positive and supportive. It's really helped out a lot and I hope you find that too. And yeah, it's lonely and it's embarrassing.

EXACTLY!! My arms are a mess - I hate to wear a short sleeve shirt in public. I also hate to wear shorts as my legs are the same. But I get these little bubbles on the backs of the top of my arm. I've been told they are 'sweat bumps'. Which makes them even grosser to me!! I pick them and this little clear liquid comes out. I've also seen where it's acne and I get a little white head out of it. My arms are a mess - always. Although i've never said I have a picking problem... because until just recently, I didn't know I had a picking problem. I can't believe I get so caught up in it and don't even realize I'm doing it. I've had family just blurt out "Quit Picking!" and I'm like what...didn't know I was! Everything I read about this is exactly me.

I feel so much relief finding out that I'm not the only person who does this. I've always thought that what I do is some sort of self-mutilation, but didn't know who to ask or where to look. I was reading about picking and realized that I do pretty much have all the symptoms that it says. First, when I pick, I'm in some kind of daze to make my skin look better, then I see the blood and later most likely get a little infection, so then I feel ashamed about what I've done. I haven't worn tank tops in so long that I can't remember. I don't wear a bathing suit, ever....if I do, I always wear a t-shirt over it and lie to people to say I don't want to burn.....which is a bit true because I'm very fair-skinned (although I could tan well if I tried). I also bite my nails and cut my cuticles really short. Sometimes, I do it without realizing I'm doing it...is that weird? The worst scarred up area is my upper arms, probably because they're the easiest to reach. I've been using Mederma lately in hopes that the scarring will fade, but it doesn't really help that I keep messing with my skin. My mom knows I have scarring but probably doesn't realize why. Honestly, I have no idea why I do this to myself and I've been doing it for at least 15-20 years. I don't know when it started, but I feel shameful when I see all the scars. I want to cover my upper arms with tattoos so that maybe someday I'll feel comfortable in going out in a tank top again. I haven't told my fiance but he's seen my skin. I just brush him off and say it's a rash or that I've been breaking out from work (I work as a baker). I say it's the heat causing it. I just don't know how to tell him the truth or whether he'll understand. My ex understood because he used to be a cutter. We just accepted each other's faults and didn't think anything of it. I think that's what connected us.....he had more issues than just cutting (that's why we aren't together). So I guess I need to find a way to stop. Maybe talking about it will help.