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kmj , 03 Jun 2010

Telling My Therapist

I have decided to tell my therapist IN DETAIL about my skin picking. I have told her but not in a manner that helps her truly understand. I have been seeing her for about 2 years and she is helping me with many things. I think she will be willing to look into this to help me. I plan to give her this site. I may just bring my lap top with me. I have read how some of you have had professionals respond. It makes me sad. When I lived in another state and had different insurance, I tried to visit a derm. He was connected to a larger hospital (his office actually in the hospital). It was my plan to prevent future staph. I explained to him what I did in some detail (I was feeling bold, I guess). He left the room and said he would be right back. He returned with four other coats with clip boards (interns) and proceeded to ask questions. I realize he was likely using me as an example to try to teach others, but I felt like a lab rat. He finally said that all he could offer me is accutane but I was trying to have a second baby (not good for baby-and I won't take it anyway with my mental health history). At the same time, I was in a study with a large university for OCD and Paxil. It did nothing for me. It may have stopped my picking some, but I felt like it stopped me-period. The study supplied me with free meds for six months but nothing else. I had to pay for any additional treatment and I could not afford it. The study also was not specific to skin picking. My Psych knows what I do but I pay for med management only and can't afford anything beyond that with him. When I first told him about it all he said was "It's not actually OCD, it has it's own name." I plan to tell him about this site, too. They need to know.
9 Answers
kmj
June 05, 2010
Well, I'm posting this even if no one reads it. My therapist and I had a very good session dealing with csp today. She said that I have told her more than I probably realize. She feels that for me, the thing I need to work on the most is the shame I feel. Learning to love myself. We also talked about triggers. Last thursday when I was at it for four hours, I had no connection to the trigger. I just thought I was anxious. It hit me today that I had a phone conversation with my husband. He was trying to meet and undergraduate theater classmate for lunch while out of town. She being female and one I was not comfortable with way back when. It didn't happen but the anxiety did not go away. Yes, I plan to tell my husband. We have some history that I am working through in therapy as well. But-my therapist feels that for me, shame is my focus. I plan to continue to fight the picking but I can "feel" that her response is true. I feel shame for no fault of my own and I don't need to take it out on myself.
Kait
June 06, 2010

In reply to by kmj

I'm glad to hear you had a good session. I think that shame will be my biggest issue to overcome as well. If I can't find a way to love/forgive myself then I will never be able to move on with my life. I am hoping that if I can forgive myself I will be able to forgive everyone else from my past who has hurt me, or at least, most everyone! Shame is an incredibly strong emotion. I never knew I would feel so much shame toward myself.
kmj
June 12, 2010

In reply to by Kait

Excellent! I hope it goes well. After my last reply i realize that you may not be the one who's "history" is familiar to mine. I am still learning kind of who's who. Regardless, I am hoping the best for you and look forward to hearing how it goes. As with meeting a person for the first time, you can't judge a book by it's cover. One or two sessions or even a month or so are not enough to make a decision if what your doing is right or not or if it's the right person for you. If you absolutely do not like the person-you will know soon. But if you are unsure-give it a bit. Although we have to PAY for it (yuck) it's still a relationship that requires development. It's a commitment to yourself. Also, remember that they need to know things, sometimes details. I remember early in therapy (but months into it) i actually started talking and told my therapist something that did not even occur to me to tell her but it was a big piece of me that needed exploring. She gave me some insight about it that I needed. There may also be entire sessions where the therapist says very little and just lets you go on and on. This made me leave wondering if I wasted time my therapist was listening and took some notes. But the information was important to say. Finally, there have been times I have cried the entire time as I speak. This is important but it's good to know when planning appointments. I am able to go on Saturdays so I do not have to go back to work or run errands, etc. I plan it so I can go straight home if I need to emotionally. If you are unable to do this you will figure something out. You will also learn some things and may have reading material recommended. When I first started therapy I was severely, clinically depressed and had a psychiatrist for meds. It was a battle to do the things my therapist suggested but I slowly worked through things. I hope some of this helps you going into it. Just some things I have learned in hind sight. Will be thinking of you!
sanfairyanne
June 13, 2010

In reply to by kmj

This site has been so helpful to me I am probably older than most on this site and have had this problem most of my life It is a psychological issue for me (though when young I did have poor skin and not much effective medication around) I recognise that "stress and rejection" are often the triggers and am now at a stage in my life when i don't expose myself much to potential trigger situations. BUT I did have an incident nearly 2 weeks ago which I have managed to contain (thanks to lots of tips re scar reduction) Good Luck to all well done to this site don't do nothing - or you will waste a large part of your life
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