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livinshame , 20 Oct 2010

SO CONFUSED!

Ok. So many things go on that I don't understand...I was eating stuff from under my toes just now and realized (even though I've been doing it for years) that THIS CAN'T BE NORMAL!!! So I searched and came across this..Don't know if I'm happy or scared that people do this. I also eat dandruff, scabs, blackheads, and skin.. Ugh...I can't believe I'm saying this...BUT This is not all... I got help over this summer because I finally decided to address ANOTHER issue that I had. I get really emotional from severly depressed to happy happy and then feel panicky. I was diagnosed with a slight case of Bipolar and then talked myself and my doctor out of that! Insisted I was fine and they all believed me. And I compulsively cut myself too even though I do NOT believe in that. Now I don't do this to get the scabs though. I do it when I'm angry with myself. Even though I know it's completely pathetic and wrong... Does all of this add up to me being crazy? I have no idea what is wrong with me! I have a great life, never been traumatized and everyone thinks I'm normal. But now I have yet ANOTHER thing to add to a list of things that aren't completely right with me. I just can't control my thoughts sometimes. Even though I know what's right from wrong!
2 Answers
socalgal
October 20, 2010
Sweetie, listen to your doctors and their advice, you are seeking help and that is what they are supposed to do...if you are so busy convincing them that you are normal, why are you there??? you want help for yourself, let the experts help you...this is a form of OCD, I know cuz I pick on my skin when there is no good reason...we can't help ourselves...so listen to your doc. then you might be able to stop hurting yourself with their help..best wishes
livinshame
November 03, 2010

In reply to by socalgal

Thank you for being so sweet... I just resorted to convincing them I was normal because they just didn't seem to understand. They kept telling me that I'm like an average teenager going through 'identity crisis' and that almost every one around my age (21) goes through this....I never told them about my picking but I told them everything else. I have serious issues with believing that anything is actually wrong with me because I have no idea what my problem is. All I know is that I don't feel good. This can't be the way things supposed to be. It'll just be nice to tell someone something and them be able to actually understand it, not say "Yeah I understand. Everyone goes through this sometimes" That just makes me clam up.

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