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sho1234 , 26 Jan 2011

I dont have a problem with my skin yet I squeeze at tiny blackheads and pores-I cant stop-anyone relate?

I dont rele get spots anymore-Its about my pores and I cant stand if I can see a little blackhead through my skin or a clogged pore. I go to extreme to make sure its all out. I have 7 scars on my face because of this. They arent acne scars, raised or indented. Just pink where the scab came off ( from squeezing too hard. I have gone over the scar lots of times, they start to fade, then I do it again. I use tweezers to try and scrape out what I think is still left in this minscual pore- this usually ends up turning into another wound. Am I the only person who does just this? Is this definitly dermatillomania? I dont pick scabs or nothing else. I espeically hate it when a pore fills up-its slightly black-skin is across it-and u know its something there to come out. Iike its trapped in there-
36 Answers
saving_grace42
January 27, 2011
Blackheads is what led me to start picking. There were blackheads on my arms and the idea of wanting to get them to go away led me to the picking and scabs, and eventually the scaring that I have now. From what I've read and from my own expereince it is a form of dermatillomania. From this forum you'll see that people's dermatillomania takes on different forms, it just depends on the person. For me I started to exfoliate more, I got a scrub that helpped take away the blackheads on my arms, I also purchased a severe acne system that targets blackheads. But the thing that helpped me the most, was a suggestion from another member of this forum, when you're in the bathroom, stand 1 - 2 feet from the mirror, the closer you get the more likely you are to pick. Hoepfully this helps you or in time you'll find what works for you. ~Anne
sm123
April 05, 2013

In reply to by saving_grace42

i struggle with the same problem. i have tried almost everything. about a month ago i started using avene triacneal alongside the avene facewash recommended for acne prone skin. both of these work so well, mainly because they calm the aftermath of my picking episodes, and at the same time heal my acne prone skin. without these products my skin is red and inflamed the next day, with red finger marks, especially on my nose. they seem to be really effective in calming the redness and swelling. the problem with using these products is that there is a purging period, i have had really bad skin over the past few weeks, with all of the bad stuff coming to the surface. obviously for me this meant my picking has gone into overdrive, however i am happy because i can see an end in sight as my acne is clearing, so theres less to pick at. i used to see a blackhead in almost every pore on my face ready for picking, however they are clearing now, even the really stubborn ones on my nose which would fill up almost every day. the small under the skin spots on my cheeks which never seemed to go away are coming to the surface and leaving smooth skin with nothing left to squeeze out. fingers crossed this will stop the urge somewhat. however i know my problem with picking is deep rooted and not just there because there are spots there to pick, if i feel like picking i will always find something to pick at....... :(
Cheresse
April 10, 2013

In reply to by sm123

Hi so glad I found this I'm 21, and I have perfect skin no acne ect. Until I hit the mirror I absolutely make A mess of my face!!! And after I feel like dying I won't go out I won't see people . Also I work I'm a pole dancer and teach this for a living I'd say my looks are a it part of me so I don't no why I do this . Il start by just waxing my eyebrow then il find a tiny tiny spot then il move all over my face picking at nothing until there's big red welts and broken skin to then leave scabs then scars. I Evan payed to go on holiday just for the sake of letting the sun make my skin sun kissed and floor less again . Did it work ? Yes... Until the next day I to home and picked agen ... What a waist of money . So now I'm on tablets to make any hthing that is in my pors go but I still pick !!! What's wrong with me u hate feeling so down after so why do I keep doing it. . Iv Evan put postets on mirrors with a sad face stating don't squeez yet I just move to another part of the mirror. Will I ever be able to stop .???? hELP
sho1234
January 27, 2011
I look so closely and I know where every single pore is--which ones im worried that are going to fill up. I sometimes think when I have a scab from sqeezing out the v v v small blackhead- that all the dead skin from the scab has blocked up the pores underneath it-. Like the pores are becoming clogged from when the scab was being created. I feel like once a scab is forming its trapping stuff in there. I dont even get blackheads really--just the small ones I know of and small clogged pores. Am I nuts or what!? Do you have any thought processes like that? Its like a never ending cycle! x
Zoe89
February 25, 2011

In reply to by sho1234

I pick at blackheads obsessively everyday. I could close my eyes and tell you where the worst ones are. I'll be sitting watching tv or something and think of which pores are probably clogged and then I end up feeling around for them. Then of course I feel the slight bump and the familiar feeling of slight pressure or "pain" deep in the stretched out pore.. and then I'm done, theres no ignoring it. I used to cause big scabs on my face and people would make comments so over time I perfected the art of picking without cutting the skin for the most part.. still get the occasional scab that turns into a scar. I have one scar on my nose that is like an indented circle from picking at a zit years ago.. I try to even it out by picking around it but obviously that doesn't work. I buy really expensive cover up and rely on it completely to leave my house. The longest I've gone without picking for years is 3 days and that's pretty rare.. I also pick at my cuticles but I don't notice and to be honest I'd rather massacre my hands and never touch my face again.
nomorepickingplease
February 28, 2011

In reply to by Zoe89

I am exactly exactly the same!!! I have a indented circle on my nose too from about 4 years ago and I still pick at it too! And 3 days is my absolute limit - on the third day I always fail. Though usually I never get past day1. I don't pick at my cuticles but I scratch my scalp sometimes which to me is a totally different thing - like it's still not good but like you I feel like my face is the place I really want to leave alone. I haven't been out of the house without makeup on in 8 years and it just occurred to me recently how sad that is and how abnormal. Like to me it seems normal and obvious that I would never see anyone without makeup on but actually that isn't normal - I am waiting for the day I can leave the house with a 'naked' face but I am worried my skin will never heal properly and will always be scarred and uneven.
anonymous31894
February 28, 2011

In reply to by nomorepickingplease

Hey, I can relate to this ALOT and I am here to support you because I never thought I'd have a last day and I get unsure sometimes cause I have always tried quitting and at some point stopped but I'm really keeping track now and in a few hours I'll have completed day 4. I have been using apple cider vinegar on my scars, because it breaks up scar tissue--even works on indented ones! I don't know how long it will take for my scars to heal but I do know it will be quicker if I quit my picking, so please join me, I know exactly how you feel. I'm in college on an all girls floor and I practically have to sleep with make up on at night but no one else has to. I'm sick of this and too old to be dealing with acne, which at this point I only make by myself. Check back often, I have been and it has been helping. Good luck!
sho1234
March 02, 2011

In reply to by nomorepickingplease

Yeh- its so frustrated when we've damaged our face and we go over and over it again and again n when we rele dont want to! The worry is a nightmare isnt it. Im sure your marks will fade because ive done a few badd wounds--it took months but now there nearly gone. I try not to wear makeup because it will clog up pores and this may be prompting you to pick more. But i understand that to go out you need to feel confident and sometimes im tempted to put makeup on. My skin tends to heal very well if I have nothing on it, lots of fresh air, aloe vera lotion on everyday- at night--dilluted lavender oil in a basin. Stuff like that releee helps.
rachel_e
January 28, 2011
I could have written this. I have exactly the same problem. It makes me feel better in a way that it isn't just me, but at the same time I'm so sorry you're suffering this too. it's so awful as like you I know my skin would actualy be fine if I didn't pick it. My blackheads are really small too and I know no one other than me can even notice them. But the wounds, scabs and scars I create are definitely noticable. Most of the blackheads are probably created by me spreading the dirt around my face when I'm picking. I don't know why I do this to myself. I know it doesn't make any sense and I want to stop so badly. I really believe it must be possible to stop. I am starting the 21 day challenge again tomorrow. I'm going through lots of posts on this forum noting all the tips I can use to help me. Good luck if you're trying to stop too.
sho1234
January 29, 2011
My email is shosho43@hotmail.co.uk. Feel free to email/stay in contact. We could support eachother-I rele didnt think anyone would be able to relate. Sometimes when the scabs fall off I presume the pores underneath it have filled up again-cos sometimes the scab falls off and its slightly bumpy and through the skin I think I can see something that could come out then I create another wound! I know I cant keep the cycle going. I did it today grr- luckily i didnt create to much of a mark but i went over 2-turns out that it wasnt a blackhead or anything. Sometimes I think I can see a faint one but it isnt one then other times I manage to squeeze stuff out of it even though its not rele black but v slightlly has a bump to it- you probs know what i meen. Recently ive noticed that im actually seeing what i think i can see but it isnt anything! Its all so obsessive isnt it. And you know that feeling when your just about to do it and you vowed to not do it--you feel so awful! Then you feel like sh..it. x x x
crazyOCD
February 01, 2011
You aren't alone. Yes, you probably have dermatillomania. Do you know when you are picking that you shouldn't be? Do you tell yourself to stop, or to not do it, but can't stop yourself? That's me! I was recently diagnosed with OCD. Upon looking into the condition I stumbled upon dermatillomania and almost fell out of my chair. My therapist said he suspected I suffered from it after some of my comments, but I confirmed it. He recommended "The OCD Workbook" CBT is probably the most affective treatment, so I hear. I just started on the journey toward recovery. Personally, pick habitually after a shower and before bed. This is when I look for the blackheads etc. My scars aren't from acne, which I have had all my life (39 now), but from tearing at my skin to extract a blackhead, or trying to extract a cystic acne outbreak. Look around this site for information and you'll learn a lot. It's anxiety based, the picking. Good luck.
sho1234
February 04, 2011
Thanku. Yeh i meen i have been very obssesive about my skin-about blocking a pore-that if i did this or that id make it worse so id have to pick to correct it. Im intreiged to know what types of comments u said for them to notice that it was ocd? Cz I'm having cbt therapy and half the time she cant get her head round what i am saying lol.
sun
February 06, 2011
dear sho1234...i just wana say that i read all ur comments on the forum and i feel like we r twins....i DO EACH N EXACT THING U HAVE MENTIONED...i even laughed at some of the things u wrote as they are exactly what i think...i do not have acne...i CREATE MY OWN ACNE...just thinking that by cleaning my blackheads and whiteheads im basically making my skin pure and better whereas im actually ruining it...i feel like i have some whiteheads but they dont really show...its just that i know they r there and they are building up n the dirt is oozing to come out n i can just take it out in a sec so why not...i esp enjoy the part when the blackhead/white just pops out...gives me peace...but after that i regret obviously....just 3 hours ago i created an actual wound on my skin by cleaning out a pore and digging in my skin so cruelly ...:(...im sad....but i have taken an oath to stop so i feel like this is the start of smtg new...the sky is the limit my friend....dont lose hope...im here for u to talk...keep me posted....ps. i am vvvvvvvvvvv relieved that there are others like me.....its time for us to let our skins breathe and nourish and be healthy.....put honey on it...instant relief from wounds...it has amazing healing powers...!!!! also go to a dermatologist for a medicine which helps scars get dry n peel off....
anonymous31894
February 25, 2011

In reply to by sun

I do the same thing! I had acne only really when I was going through puberty and whatnot but I have prescription topical gel that would really work if I didn't create my own acne..which is so frustrating to know it wouldn't be there if I didn't put it there. I have moved on to black heads since I don't get as many white heads anymore and picking and spreading bacteria leads to more problems. ugh. I'm on day 2 of stopping though, best of luck to everyone. I just read that apple cider vinegar breaks up scar tissue, so give that a try!
sho1234
February 06, 2011
omg! I thought that when I read a posting by you earlier today-! I relate to what your saying more than I thought I would evEr be able to relate to anyone. You also wrote that you find writing it all down..calming. So do I! I got to a terrible state where I created wound after wound. Ive managed to get my skin relatively clear at the mo. The marks are begining to fade. I use some simple natural remedies. It gives me a real sense that every pore is being deep cleansed. Helps the mind lol! I managed to stop cycle after realising that i'll just go round and round in this cycle. I said to myself- "sho, you have squeezed out everything you possibly can now-now is the time to leave it to its own devices. You've gone over that area over and over, now its the time to leave it now or you'll have to keep doing it for life, is that what you want?" I realised I cant keep maintaining it, that I'll have to leave it at some point so I chose to. Its been like 13 days. I havent even reached my record number of days yet. But Im being focused- standing back from mirror-is an absolute must! Im making sure im having an extremly healthy diet (also to help with healing). Im drinking plenty of water a day, Im using dilluted essential oils, to help with fading marks. I am trying not to go to mirror if I feel sensation on skin- cos I have so much flakey skin/lil scabs--its only that. If I imagine that there is something what I think is there on my skin-I dont look closely to check it--it then looks fine-better than what it would be if i looked extra zoomed in! When I went to the doctor last- I couldnt quite believe that she was offering me this acid to help acne when I had quite obviously created the scabs and wounds on my skin. She couldve asked me. lol
sun
February 06, 2011
dear sho im wearing a band around my wrist from today....i read somewhere that when you get the urge just pull the band on ur wrist...i dont know how it helps...also i heard the mask of aspirin(medicine) and honey is amazing....plz research and leme know...its worth looking into i havent tried but heard alot things about it...that is magical n stuff....also the band sort of reminds me that i will not pick and gives me a sense of survivor....ps i told u i made a wound my face yesterday right...now my bf came n said lets go somehwere but i am not going since i look ugly n feel disgusted!!! i always do this to myself...by the way im a female of 21 years ...may i ask how old are you if u r comfortable??
sun
February 06, 2011
also i wanted to ask....you know when i have the urge to pick and if i wash my face or put a mask on it or a cream my urge sort of reduces...does it happen to you?
sho1234
February 06, 2011
Im 20. Yeh i say that to my bf a lot lol. Its frustrating. I make sure I wash my face once a day. Im paranoid about what will cause blockd pores etc. If i clense too much il get oily skin-then im gna get spots etc. I make sure i use natural remedies which help withdraw impurities, sooth skin,prevent blackheads etc ,tones skin and al that. Then i know that im doing al i can do (without using my fingers! ) to clense skin. Im relying on this. Im trying to be less obsessive,more reasonable and i dont go to mirror.
sun
February 07, 2011
happy birthday sho i think i read somewhere its ur bday...let this year be a fresh start and new beginning...give birth to a new you...nows the time sho...do it for u, ur frnds n family n for us...give us hope...all the best happy birthday....
sho1234
February 07, 2011

In reply to by sun

My Birthday is on may 11th. But Thank You! My skin is healing..its getting there...its getting better and better each day--bit by bit. Keep strong everyone. Be kind to the skin. Remember keep away from the mirror. Stand back, dont look close-then the longer you leave it the more better it will look from far back then you wont have much of that "need" to go in closer. The worry of having scars and having to shield face is sometimes more stressful than the actual picking. At the moment I have a huge weight of my shoulders. Im starting to feel confident about going out of the house without looking down to the ground. If I start to think obsessive for example "could there be something there!? Think there is". I tell myself "You have gone over that area so many times before, whats the point" We pick thinking that its the last time..everytime. So if i was to go and do it-im starting the cycle again. For what? To ensure that the urge wont come back. We always end up doing it again anyway. Best thing to do is to keep back from mirror, your skin's going to look worse zoomed in anyway-the more you look at your face reaally closely the more obsessive we are going to get! Because we have eyes on every inch/every pore. Its too much for us to handle. If you can feel a bump-chances are its on its way out anyway -tiny bit of dilluted tea tree will dry it up. Pores always look big and dirty to us up close-but from a healthy distance from the mirror (how other people are seeing us) its a lot different. x

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