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gaham , 25 Feb 2011

Is this different from what other people experience?

I'm 19 years old and have been picking at my zits and scabs since I can remember. When I was in middle school I had a lot of face acne and I would constantly pick at it. Luckily I've moved away from my face to other areas of my body, but I still can't manage to stop. Some people on this forum mentioned that they go through phases of picking or not picking and that worried me. I don't have those phases. I pick consistently all the time. People also mentioned feelings of stress relief while picking, and I also don't feel that. I feel humiliated and disgusted the entire time I'm picking and feel even worse afterward. Recently I had a bout of scabies that I got from my boyfriend and his roommate and, while it was embarrassing to have scabies, I was thrilled to finally have an excuse to be scratching and to have people close to me unable to control picking their skin. Of course, we've all been treated for scabies and I'm still picking. The more I learn about this disease the more depressed I become. I hear personal testimonies from people in their 30's and 40's and this leads me to think I'll never get better. I'm miserable. My friends think I'm anorexic or that I cut myself or something because I never let anyone see my body. I almost want to go to live on some icy tundra where I can always be bundled up and won't have to deal with mosquitoes, which obviously make picking worse. I don't know what to do.
6 Answers
lilaxlion
February 25, 2011
its different for each person. your not like wierd or anything. i also pick all the time i dont have waves at all. no matter how we do it we all feel shame. i cant tell you how many times ive cryed myself to sleep because i tore my skin up so bad. whats helped me is ive come out as having this picking addiction and its helped make me feel less ashamed as strange as it sounds. the people that love you will understand how much pain your in and want to help, and not think any less of you. i understand and feel your pain. you arent alone in this struggle.
MsBlueSky
February 25, 2011
I'm nineteen, and nearly everything you've said sounds like me. And I'm pretty miserable too...when I think about the damage I've done and how helpless I feel. But I am confident that I am going to learn to manage it, and soon. I'm willing to stake my life on that. I just gotta figure out how. I am looking into inpatient treatment options (as I mentioned on another thread), and I'm very excited. Also, I heard about a conference for trich and skin picking that I REALLY want to save up for and go. It's all the way in San Francisco, though, and I live on the east coast. But we'll see. If you need anything, or just someone to talk to, lemme know. Peace, BlueSky www.pigscanflyblog.blogspot.com
gaham
February 25, 2011

In reply to by MsBlueSky

I don't know if I'm quite ready for a conference about it, but I definitely want to see some kind of doctor. It's tough though because I can't really afford to see a doctor right now, what with having work and school. What I actually tried doing last night was clipping my fingernails super short. I still try to pick, but it doesn't do anything because I can't get my nail under the scab. On the one hand it's annoying to have nails this short, but at least I haven't bled at all today. I know it's only a short term fix but it seems to be working for now.
lexyw
February 25, 2011
hi! i'm 28 and i feel very much like you do. i do have anxiety problems, but i never feel any relief during or after picking. the picking takes my mind off of it but it comes back with a vengeance afterwards. which leads me to believe that when i'm having an anxiety attack i need to do anything else but pick. who knows. also, don't feel bad if there are people who are older than you are on here. feel proud! when i was 19, i for sure was picking - i just thought it was "normal" since all my friends with problem skin would pick a bit. i never thought about how much i was doing it, why i was doing it, etc. so feel good that you've realized the problem now. it's harder realizing it as an "adult"...at least it is for me.
nomorepickingplease
February 28, 2011
Sounds so much like me, except that my face is the main place I pick which is pretty rubbish because that's quite difficult to hide! I have been picking consistently since the age of 12 and only managed to go 3 days without picking once in the last 8 years... apart from that one time I have picked almost every day for up to four hours. I think I do feel stress relief when I pick but I don't start picking to relieve stress - I just notice that when I don't pick I feel incredibly stressed!! And also go into a trance when picking and am able to think about nothing which doesn't happen most other times! I think everyone's picking is slightly different - how/why/where we all pick seems to vary slightly but we definitely share lots in common! You are not alone in how you experience this. Some days I feel like there is just no point anymore and other days I am so optimistic it'll be the last day and then I just feel so depressed and demoralised when I don't manage it. I am trying to go a whole day without picking tomorrow - hopefully it won't be another disappointing day.
nomorepickingplease
February 28, 2011
Sounds so much like me, except that my face is the main place I pick which is pretty rubbish because that's quite difficult to hide! I have been picking consistently since the age of 12 and only managed to go 3 days without picking once in the last 8 years... apart from that one time I have picked almost every day for up to four hours. I think I do feel stress relief when I pick but I don't start picking to relieve stress - I just notice that when I don't pick I feel incredibly stressed!! And also go into a trance when picking and am able to think about nothing which doesn't happen most other times! I think everyone's picking is slightly different - how/why/where we all pick seems to vary slightly but we definitely share lots in common! You are not alone in how you experience this. Some days I feel like there is just no point anymore and other days I am so optimistic it'll be the last day and then I just feel so depressed and demoralised when I don't manage it. I am trying to go a whole day without picking tomorrow - hopefully it won't be another disappointing day.

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