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PazzoBella , 22 Apr 2011

Day 5 of 21- Today's been hard...

I woke up this morning not feeling very well. Needless to say, this didn't help much with maintaining self-control. I still haven't picked at my face, but I wanted to SO BADLY! I hate that I feel so weak :( I had to focus all of my extra energy (which wasn't much) into avoiding something that has felt so natural to me for so long now. Why does the urge to pick my face feel so much stronger when I'm sick and/or not feeling well? You would think that would be the last thing on my mind, but instead, it was the first. Maybe it's b/c I feel like crap and a subconscious part of me thinks that my outside should portray whatever I'm feeling on the inside. Wow, that's the second, most honest thing I've admitted to myself in a really long time (the first being that I have a disorder and I need help). Today was rough and I honestly can't wait for it to be over. I HATE feeling like I could slip at any given moment. Day 5 is almost over and I've made it through with NO PICKING. Tomorrow's day 6 and I hope I can wake up in good spirits, ready to take on the day. I HAVE to beat this! I WON'T let it beat me! I'll end this post with the motivational words my fiance left for me on our bathroom mirror before heading off to work: Day 5- I cannot wait to see your beautiful face after work!!! XOXO (Without his love and support, I don't think I could've ever made it this far.) Thank you for taking the time to read and for all of the comments and support I've received thus far. X
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Mary_A
April 22, 2011
Don’t give up! A lot of people here say that the first few days are the hardest, but for me the hardest part always begins at day 4 and 5. I always start challenges like this one right after the picking was really bad. So the first days my skin looks like a mess, but feels ‘clean’ in a way. But after day 4 pores get clogged again and stuff... But I think that if you get through this difficult point, it can only get better. You know, if you stop picking for a while, your skin and it’s sebaceous glands (hope that’s the right word :s) don’t get stimulated. And therefore it eventually will develop less impurities. I for example don’t have so much acne anymore, but because I can’t stop touching my skin (bacteria, stimulation) I actually create it myself. Our problem begins in our head (in most cases there isn’t really a lot wrong with the skin itself), and so it is indeed a lot harder when you don't feel good. But it helps when you don’t get the visual stimulus, and that will decrease in a short while. And then you'll look prettier, which will make you feel a lot better. It's a virtuous circle instead of a vicious one. So, be strong! It will get easier!
PazzoBella
April 22, 2011
Hey Mary! Thank you for your comment, it really does make A LOT of sense! Days 4 and 5 WERE really hard b/c I DID feel like my pores HAD to be getting "clogged" by this point. I've been doing a lot of research and reading into skin picking and have learned that picking only pushes bacteria deeper into the skin/pore, so what we THINK we're "accomplishing" by "removing" impurities out of our pores is ACTUALLY creating GREATER problems, and potentially MORE blemishes for us to obsess over and pick at. WE are the cause of this never-ending cycle! The last skin picking session I had was REALLY bad! My skin is DEFINITELY healing, but it still has a long way to go before it will look "decent" again. I'm seeing improvement everyday, which only motivates me to keep moving forward in this challenge. Again, thank you so much for your support and words of encouragement. I GREATLY appreciate them! :)

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