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robertrexx , 23 Sep 2011

Ughhh...Long time picker/cutter, ect.

I am obsessed with picking, especially my scabs on bmy scalp, I do it daily and find it comforting, I remember back to the days when I was babysat by an older neighbor who INSISTED eating scabs(sounds gross, but not to me) Since then I have never stopped..I began cutting at around the age of 10 or 11?? It was total bliss after I saw the blood......I pick my scalp EVERYDAY and when I go to my hairdresser, she never says a word...I KNOW it is obvious when she shampoos my hair.....So relieved to see others with same disorder, as strange as it is...............I admit, I enjoy chewing on them and picking my face...... :-(
6 Answers
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robertrexx
September 23, 2011
I was sexually abused from ages of 3 and 4 by neighbor and never told anyone due to his manipulation of hurting my family... I held alot alot of dirty secrets and was raped at 13 which really started my cutting even more.. I do not speak of these things to anyone but find it a big relief to speak about it now... I am 40 nowand have had drug/alcohol issues ..I am in counseling but still NEVER stop and certainly NEVER forget.....I am sad for others like me but know we just have to deal with it....
luvkitties2
October 18, 2011
I am so very sorry for what you've been through; I wish there was a way to take the pain away so that we all could go on living "normal" lives. Your story reminded me of one of the episodes on the show "Intervention"; there was a man who had been molested and raped by his uncle, didn't tell anyone about it until recently, and has substance abuse issues. I also have an ex-boyfriend who had the same thing happen to him as a child. My hope for you is that you will stop punishing yourself for what happened and, instead, treat yourself with the loving kindness you deserve...all the best <3
robertrexx
October 26, 2011
Thank you for your very kind words Luvkitties2, I am a female and used a really odd name which is kinda misleading...I guess I felt SAFER that way??!! I watch Intervention regularly and relate to ALOT of addiction, I do take Aderall which as I read posts on here, alot of people relate that to their picking, I have NEVER spoken verbally to anyone about picking but do see a counselor frequently...I find it as a "reward" to pick and feel at ease till the disgust kicks in, who knows if I will ever stop?? I did stop the cutting the day I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, a promise I will always keep, who was taken away in a tragic accident at 13 months in a drowning incident, I hope I can somehow do the same with picking........
Elliecan
October 26, 2011
ah sweet heart, i just want to shower you with love too! i know i get a seratonin hit when i pick.. i was talking with my friend today about anxiety and we commented on how mental wellbeing is not really talked about. in our culture. but man it makes a difference when we do talk! I hope you can find the space to talk and find some of your power in life! love to you. peace for you fingers and skin!
kgolden1234567890
October 04, 2011
I have had a LOT of luck with the amino acid N-acetyl cysteine, which is sometimes sold as N-acetyl L-cysteine, for my 11-year-old daughter who severely picks her skin (arms and legs). I'm hoping that everyone on this group will check it out. We started out at 1200mg each day, 600mg in the morning and 600mg in the evening. Then we worked up to 2400mg, 1200 mg in the morning and 1200 mg in the evening, within about 3 or 4 weeks. The study that was done in 2009 showed the best results were after 9 weeks of continuous treatment with this amino acid, also just known as NAC. We saw great results after 6 weeks. Please consider trying it. I am not a doctor, so please weigh out the risks for yourself. It has truly been a godsend. My daughter used to pick to the point of staph infections. She has scars all over her body. It works by regulating the URGE to pick. You can download the summary text of the 2009 study on this website - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19581567. The study was for hair-pulling, but skin-picking and nail-biting result from similar sets of urges.

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