So sick of this!10 day challenge-please join me??


Online Test For Skin Picking Disorder

Find Out The Severity of Your Symptoms With This Free Online Diagnostic Tool

avatar

April 25, 2011

Oh god... your post almost made me cry, because I could have written it myself!! I feel for you so much. :( I've been struggling with picking at my face for about 15 years: http://www.skinpick.com/node/1602. I too was doing pretty well the last days, but I relapsed this morning. Now my face is swollen under the makeup, with 3 new medium-size lovely wounds that I'm afraid will scar. I'd like to punch the wall, I'm so upset with myself!! Why, why, why I'm apparently unable to STOP this damn vicious cicle?!? Yet I keep on trying, and failing, every time. I feel exhausted, but I'm not gonna give up. Never!! I'm going to beat this, one day. So I'm joining you in this 10 days challenge. Hang in there, we gotta stay strong!
avatar

April 25, 2011

Yukki and startexas and others who i hope will join over the next few days, thanks guys so much for your reply. I was so happy to get answers so quickly. Its just goes to show how many people are suffering from this and how much people want to get better. So lets begin!!! 10 days guys, wer in this together! we can do it!!!!! Just 10 days!! no pressure :-)) Yukki its exactly how you say you keep on trying and failing every time. The thing is iv given up saying i will never do it again cos i know i will. For the moment im happy just to say im going to cut down MAJORLY. I think that puts alot less pressure on. God i really dont want to go to work tomorrow caked in make up with obvious red blotches under my skin!! Story of my life,iv done it so many time now but the thought of it !! lets see how we get on tomorrow and report back. Im going to do this!! Come on guys i know ye can do, lets fight!!
avatar

April 25, 2011

OKAY! I am so ready to be accountable- that is such another underlying issue with this whole mess. I cant be accountable about a "secret" or something people dont understand whatsoever...with the others on this forum I feel a sense of understanding about the skin-picking and therefore the idea of being accountable and 'just stopping' isnt taken so lightly. _______ And I am much more confortable with tens days :) . I have seen 30days on here too but when I am in the pits of despair about all this I can hardly think past ONE day of leaving the house and trying to be 'normal'- that would feel impossible. FIGHT THE URGE! Think about what you are thinking about, feeling, doing when you get the need to pick....identifying triggers has been a HUGE STEP for me. Even a day without being self-destructive is a success.... !!! (apologize for the double posts--???)
avatar

April 25, 2011

You can do it guys..... Keep fighting, you will win. Everytime you get back up after you fall down, that is a victory. There will be a day when you wake up and realize that the urge is in the past; you beat it. Love and light, Yami
avatar

September 05, 2013

Thanks for making my family happy again, my father came back home and he can even take us out, something he never think of before! i wonder Dr egbenakheu are you god or what? amazing you make things happen! i will .Thank you very much. from Holland if you need his help contact email address Dr egbenakhuespelltimple@gmail.com
avatar

April 25, 2011

WOW! Like the other response said- you took the words right out of my mouth. I have had the worst relapse after years of "being good" and I am going blrrping nuts! Took down the mirrors- cut off my nails- seeing psych and therapist and of course dermatologist to manage my destruction :(. Was getting better, actually did some outings recently when I have been a shut in...now have red swollen spots from squeezing and a scraped off blister skin spot from where I worked skin too much--right in the middle of my face! AHHH! I want scream and wish I could slap some sense into myself! I hate when I let the "urge" take over because I know I am "pretty" without this garbage I do to myself, and all this does is drive up my anxiety and depression and throw my self esteem out the window. I can do 10 days! Have to see the derm tomorrow anyhow so it will be a good start... Going to file nails down more and paint them some ridiculous color so I can see them in the mirror. My derm doc (lucky to have a picker-sensitive professional) told me they were "deadly weapons" if you are a picker/scratcher and that I needed to keep them shorter if I was wanting to stop... FIGHT THE URGE
avatar

April 25, 2011

WOW! Like the other response said- you took the words right out of my mouth. I have had the worst relapse after years of "being good" and I am going blrrping nuts! Took down the mirrors- cut off my nails- seeing psych and therapist and of course dermatologist to manage my destruction :(. Was getting better, actually did some outings recently when I have been a shut in...now have red swollen spots from squeezing and a scraped off blister skin spot from where I worked skin too much--right in the middle of my face! AHHH! I want scream and wish I could slap some sense into myself! I hate when I let the "urge" take over because I know I am "pretty" without this garbage I do to myself, and all this does is drive up my anxiety and depression and throw my self esteem out the window. I can do 10 days! Have to see the derm tomorrow anyhow so it will be a good start... Going to file nails down more and paint them some ridiculous color so I can see them in the mirror. My derm doc (lucky to have a picker-sensitive professional) told me they were "deadly weapons" if you are a picker/scratcher and that I needed to keep them shorter if I was wanting to stop... FIGHT THE URGE
avatar

April 25, 2011

I’m in too! I do EXACTLY the same as you, and your description of the picking, gross as it was :) was so right on! I pick since high school, but especially the last three years (I’m 22 now, go to college) have been bad. I started the 30 days challenge this week, but yesterday (only day 5) I couldn’t resist the mirror... I was planning to go on with my challenge anyway, although I feel like I don’t have any strength left to fight. God, I’m so tired of all this... I feel the same like you guys right now: could hit myself, and almost throw up out of frustration... If only I never developed this terrible habit, I would be quite pretty as well. It’s the constant skin damage that ruins it. But then I read your message, and maybe it’s helpful to start at the same time with others, you know, to have the feeling that you’re not alone. And 10 days seems an achievable time. So dropbydrop, Yuuki and startexas, tomorrow day one? Count me in! three, two, one ... STOP!
avatar

April 26, 2011

Count me in as well! Good luck :)
avatar

April 26, 2011

Im in! I hope that we can all do this! I think Im going to try cutting my nails pretty short and keeping them that way for the next ten days!
avatar

April 26, 2011

heya!! glad you could join us...keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!
avatar

April 26, 2011

Day 1 today! No urges right now, so far so good... I'm looking slightly better already. How are you doing? By the way, something that's helping me a lot: vitamin C (pure ascorbic acid powder, half a teaspoon 3 times a day), zinc capsules and echinacea; sometimes vitamin A (from natural source, cod liver oil) I swear by these, they're the only supplements that clear my skin, avoid infections, promote healing and fade red-brown marks faster. :)
avatar

April 26, 2011

hey Yuuki! Im glad you are doing well today. So far as you say. We all know it can jump in at any time so keep up the guard!! Well done! Im doing pretty well today also altho iv been so busy all day with work and viewing a new place to live that i really havnt had a chance to go near my face. Im home now with a washed face and about to head to bed...this is around the time i usually go at my skin...in fact about 90 per cent of the time it is right before i go to bed and am already really tired. Not tonight tho. i will literally get up in a minute walk to my bedroom turn the light off and go straight into bed!! thanks for the advice on the supplements. i might visit a health shop over the wkend and see what they have. Just to have that extra nourishment from inside might help me look and feel better. ok so day 1 Yuuki!! wev done it!!
avatar

April 26, 2011

To my fellow fighters!!!...Startexas, Mary, Lisa, Scabpicker and Yuuki...How are we doing?? Day one done and dusted...if so well done! I nearly went at it there a while ago and i dont know how but i just said no to myself and legged it out of the bathroom!! kind of laughed at myself after! its just so easy to say just one or two and il stop but we all know it never happens like that...ONCE YOU START YOU CANT STOP (a bit like pringles hey?! :-)and you wont stop so dont even do one or two! Remember this, the release or pleasure you get from it is only temporary. our brain works in a way that makes immediate pleasure more intense and luring than any other. the immediate pleasure is so overpowering and great, that we dont care at the time about the consequences of the action (digust, low, depressed etc etc) even tho i think we would all agree that the aftermath feeling is far worse and goes on for much longer than any of the pleasure we got from it is worth. Also the times ye have ever gone to do it and then stopped yourselves... well have ye ever noticed that if you go away and do something else the feeling passes slightly and you realise hey i actually dont have that really intense urge anymore. i mean u may still have it a bit but its not as bad as it was an hour before. not like the tightness in you chest feeling. SO the feeling does pass. And the feeling is a BIG FAT DEVIL LIE anyway because it fools you into thinking "oh you want this so much, ur gonna love this" but then the bastard jeers at you after and leaves you feeling so low and hurt..... Im may sound weird when i say this but iv begun using devil imagery and i picture him there luring me in. I just love when i can say to him you know what go and piss off, im not interested...haha! anyway maybe this perspective on it might help ye. ok so im going to bed, straight to bed, not looking in the mirror and switching the light off immediately. Please let me know how ye are getting on tomorrow. I love the fact that we are all in this together, helping each other. Every day we dont do it we should be so so proud of ourselves. Its hard but where there is a will there is a way. night night xxx
avatar

April 29, 2011

logging in for my day 1-- went fairly well considering I was home all day- as anyone knows those are the worst times when you pass the bathroom a million times and must resisit going in to examine yourself. AHH! It was tough and I did pretty good but did notice after a stressful and anger inducing conversation with a family member on the phone I went to the bathroom mirror almost like a robot...just ready to :TRANCE OUT on picking. Luckily I caught myself, thought about what I was thinking and feeling--which sounds totally stupid that one should be completely unaware or not concious of what is going on with themselves but this PICK-WOUND YOURSELF behavior runs so deep in my brain and that is why I feel it is so hard to control and understand. It is also why I want to punch people in the face when they say "Why don't you JUST STOP?". Anyhow, luckily I only did some "maintenance" squeezes and I am sure most of you know what I mean- the usual tiny blackheads kinda stuff, I didnt break out and needles or do massive damage though I know any picking is damaging I can settlle for the little things in the nose corners and be done...._______________________Day 2 was staying with friends, helped alot because lack of privacy to do my DIRTY DEED didnt allow me to indulge. ___________Other things I am finding helpful- **keeping busy in any way possible **** keeping hands busy, I am not a knitter though I see that suggestion a lot , but I started doing house of cards with my daughter, it is frustrating as h3ll but time cosuming and takes concentration and gave me the TRANCE feeling which was unexpected***lego models, perler beads, embroidery (i stink at it but no one needs to see them), and cheap childrens sculpting clay (fun)***and getting rid of NAILS or even obssesively grooming nails while watching a show is also very relaxing (file, buff, paint) and looks pretty after instead of YUCK_______________NEW PRODUCT ALERT- Cerave-has AM and PM creme for face with niacinimide which has done wonders for my face already :). Also using Dr Miracle's toner from walmart that has active vitamins- feels great! I was dreading having terrible dark spots or red spots all summer. Where I live it is very hot and hiding in clothes and hats is torture! I am very fair and even cut bangs to hide my forehead massacre but this creme doesnt irritate, clog, or grease up my face and the niacinimide (no flush b vitamin) has been used to treat acne as Nia-Pads and well as treat skin discolorations (Ponds makes a B3 creme intended for face that is excellent for this that I am using to fade the scars on my legs)_______________As someone with very sensitive skin I would recommend trying this. My face peels and gets chemical burns with BP and even too much salicylic acid, epiduo totally made my skin worse and my derm said clindamycin gel and these other products were okay together. __________KEEP GOING!!!! THANKS DROPBYDROP_____ I am going to use that image of a devil luring me into the bathroom mirror to keep out!!! That is exactly how it feels, like a wicked temptation or evil spell that I cannot overcome. Everyone remind yourself : YOU ALWAYS FEEL SO MUCH WORSE AFTERWARD!! THE SATISFACTION OF PICKING NEVER EASES THE PAIN THAT FOLLOWS!!!!
avatar

April 27, 2011

Dropbydrop- ive done exactly what uve done. I almost panic if i see like a blackhead, especiali if its one that cant easily come out. I cant just leave it there. Even though, ive never really had a proper noticable one. I know I cant do this for the rest of my life and ive gone over face sooo many times. Im gna have to start being reasonable, become free and not be so obsesive, not look in mirror and try and look at self as a whole more. By looking too close to mirror, it looks worse anyway for any1. I havent done it for a while. But u can do it 2. I know its hard hun, i wil support u x
avatar

April 27, 2011

Dropbydrop- ive done exactly what uve done. I almost panic if i see like a blackhead, especiali if its one that cant easily come out. I cant just leave it there. Even though, ive never really had a proper noticable one. I know I cant do this for the rest of my life and ive gone over face sooo many times. Im gna have to start being reasonable, become free and not be so obsesive, not look in mirror and try and look at self as a whole more. By looking too close to mirror, it looks worse anyway for any1. I havent done it for a while. But u can do it 2. I know its hard hun, i wil support u x
avatar

April 28, 2011

Today it would have been my day 2, but I screwed up BADLY. This morning, when I woke up, I noticed I had developed a cyst-like pimple in my cheek. I tried to gently press with my fingertips but it was hard, so I decided not to mess with it and covered it with Clyndamicin gel. I had almost forgotten about it until a few minutes ago, when I say it was much more noticeable, red, shiny and with a huge white spot on top. I tried to resist the urge, I really did, but to no avail: in the end I squeezed it hard. What's worse, I had to dug it out with my tweezers and I even didn't manage to get all of it! -_- Now I'm left with a big wound on my cheek, that I'm pretty sure will leave a scar and maybe develop another cyst underneath. Tomorrow I should go shopping with my mother, then sunday I'm supposed to meet some friends of mine that I haven't seen in 2 years. Just the thought makes me wanna scream... right now I'd like to dig a hole underground and lay in it forever. :( I don't know what else to do, I swear. Maybe I won't be able to beat skin picking without a therapist's help, and maybe I should do something to help my skin to REALLY be blemish free. Otherwise stop picking would be too hard, same as pouring a drink to an alcoholist and tell him not to drink! I know I make it 100 times worse picking, but I also know many of my blemishes and cysts develop because of my hormones and pcos. That's why when I was on the pill my face was clear and perfect and I never picked at it!!! I don't want do give up, but challenges doesn't work for me I guess. I just hope you're doing better than me and I wish you GOOD LUCK! :)
avatar

April 28, 2011

Aw Yuuki, im so sorry to hear that. Did u just squeeze one pore?..thats still only one!!! I totally understand how you feel tho. Its the story of my life. The worst part about the aftermath is the fact that as you say u have plans made and have to go do things in public that u wud normally be so looking forward to but now all of a sudden ur not. Its bizarre tho isnt it? How just bcos u have a red mark now on your cheek suddenly the next few days or however long it takes to heal will be a nightmare. Even tho i do the same, i hope u can see how totally irrational this thinking is. Yuuki u can still go shopping and meet up with ur friends and be the person that u are and should be!! Everytime u relapse u HAVE TO GET UP AND GO AGAIN!! Please say u will. I want to hear the fighter in you!! U are so done with this shit, u want to be free from it, dont let it bring u down, be strong and rise above it!!xx Maybe u could consider looking for a CBT therapist in your area. U need to ask alot of questions before choosing one tho. u may go see one for 2 sessions and realise no they dont get me. Someone who deals with anxiety disorders or OCD. It took me a while to find one, but i live in ireland so there wasnt much of a choice. i actually have a book here on finding a therapist and what qualifications they need to have and what u need to ask them etc...if u want more info let me know. It has helped me so much. My picking has halved at least and altho its not gone totally the last 2 weeks is the first time i actually have said to myself im gonna be rid of this. i never believed it before. I v been going to mine every week for about 4 months. sorry im harping on....anyway keep in touch. Try not to get down over it. The most important thing is that u are aware you have a problem and u want to stop. It might take a while but u will get rid of this with the right guidance. like my screen name "A JUG FILLS DROP BY DROP".XXX
avatar

April 29, 2011

Startexas and dropbydrop, THANK YOU! I mean it. If I had you near me I'd hug you for sure! How are you guys doing? Thanks for your support and precious advices. I know, it was just a pore and I shouldn't beat me so much for it. But the wound I caused was very deep, so now the resulting scab is big, dark and very noticeable, like impossible to conceal even caking on makeup. And it's right in the middle of my left cheek... totally visible. :( However I've decided to go shopping with my mother today and I tried my best to relax and have fun. It's been a nice day after all! Sunday I'll go and meet my friends as well. I think I'll just use some lame excuse, like I've had an allergy reaction to a cream or something like that. I hate lying, but it'll help me to feel more confident. I'm sure they'll believe me, plus they are good friends and haven't seen me in 2 years and a half: they simply won't care about my face! I'm always overreacting. Today I picked for a while at some clogged pores, but didn't really cause any damage. So I've decided my day 1 will start tomorrow. I'll try this challenge again, hopefully next week will be better. I really want to beat skin picking and I'm never gonna give up on this, no matter what. I chose "Yuuki" as my nickname because it means "courage" in japanese. So I'm gonna be brave! Take care and have a great weekend! XXX
avatar

April 29, 2011

YUUKI- Dont give up! One bad spot is to be expected once in a while no matter what. My last breakout that reignited my skin picking problem was also hormone related and so frustrating. Have you looked into naturopathy for your pcos and hormone issues? They can be quite effective at relieving symptoms and helping the body to balance out. I was on the pill forever and decided to get off as well due to being 30 and being "crazy" :=) . Therapists can help but you need to find the right one for you otherwise they just dont get it and cant help much or undermine the problem---dermatillomania is very hard to understand, even by the people who have it. ____Sometimes, what helps when I have big nasty pimple coming is to bandage it. My derm (who luckily understands dermatillomania) always gives me a handful of those little round coverlet bandaids. When I but medicine and a bandaid over a spot, I am less likely to pick, and for some odd reason feel like I am doing MORE to kill the spot with the bandaid there--granted I dont like to go out this way :( . ANother thing I have found help when I have made a nasty hole, which a lot of people on the baord would probably say they have done too, so dont beat yourself up so badly about it, is Liquid Skin bandage stuff. I am not sure where you live but it is fairly common- it froms a clear invisible layer over the wound which stops stuff from getting in, seals the skins natural moisture to speed healing, and has potent antibiotic agents in the ingredients as well. Some brands contain clove oil, which is a great natural anitbacterial but some people are sensitive so test on a small spot on your inner arm and if sensitve get product with other ingredients. ______ You can also use this as an opportunity to analyze your possible triggers: was it just about the spot?--Do you think your "trigger" was anxiety about the visit? Shopping with your mother? I would rather be swallowed up by the earth :) than go shopping with my mother because she is so terribly critical.... DONT GIVE UP!! WE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES!! YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL!! ALLOW YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY IN YOUR SELF-IMAGE!!! no more self-destruction, that is what this is, self destructive behavior.....we all deserve to be able to stop hurting ourselves physically and emotionally.
avatar

April 28, 2011

So how is everyone doing? I have Day 3 done and im all clear. Have been so busy at work that it hasnt really been a major struggle. Bennn coming home really late every night so havnt had that idel time in the evenings to think about it. Hope ye are getting on well. Let me know. xx
avatar

April 29, 2011

I havent done it for 3 weeks :-D. I usuali go out of control when i do 'maintenance' squeezing. But I think ive turned a corner. Its okay, if skins not perfect-as long as it isnt,red,marked and scarred. Im so fed up with that and fed up with hiding my face. I can make myself feel good with clothes, nice nails and nice hair. Im not thinking about skin every sec now-ive gone over it so many times. I cant control it. I feel veryy free now. Keep going u lot, u can do it. Its so worth it in the end.!
avatar

May 02, 2011

So guys im not doing good at all. I relapsed twice. Once on Friday evening and again yesterday. They were both fairly bad sessions. About and hour for both so my face is a mess again and more importantly im feeling crap. I have a really hard job and work long hours so this wkend off was going to be a chill out time for me. I had made all sorts of plans to do stuff but feel so let down now cos i have ruined it for myself. Now i am back to work tomorrow and have to face another long week of it and work in close contact with my staff when my confidence is so down. its just a constant cycle!!! going to see my therapist this evening to talk things out, hopefully will feel better after. Im going to talk to her about mindfullness meditation, i think it would really help me cos my head is always racing. I often work myself in mental ruts and loose my awareness and then i think this is wen im more prone to going at my face. have any of ye tried it? its just i saw that post on the forum about the person who said practising it 40 mins a day has cured their dermatillomania. Oh also guys i went to the health shop the other day and got aloe vera gel and tea tree cream. i mix them together in a bowl and smear it on my face after a session and it has done wonders for the red mark and swelling. im not sure how this would be on large wounds on your face but for my type of picking where i go over all the tiny pores in my face and dont actually have scabs or wounds as such it is amazing. just leave pile it on and it in for about 2 hours. anyway guys im going to try again today. iv decided im going to try this mindfullness meditation twice a day and see does it help me. you can download guided ones on itunes or there are books on it too. how are ye all doing? how is your cheek looking now yuuki? and star texas how are you holding up? keep in touch. xxx
avatar

May 03, 2011

Hi drop!! How are you doing today? I felt very sad for you, when I read this post. I'm so sorry, I know how bad relapsing makes us feel. The anxiety, the shame, the guilt, the remorse... I think it might be one of the worst feelings in the world. :( But please, don't beat yourself up! You wrote you didn't even create any wound or scab, which is seriously amazing! I'm sure today your face is looking better already. Aloe vera and tea tree will be great for your picking, I've been using them for years with good results. Especially aloe gel, I smear it on my face every night and it always helps me tremendously. With that and meditation you'll be fine and confident in a few days, just keep trying and don't give up! The road to recovery is full of relapses, but eventually it will get better... it has to. I'm doing fine, thanks! My skin is almost fully healed. Tomorrow morning I'm going to gently scrub my face with a honey, yoghurt and baking soda paste: I'm pretty positive this will peel off all of my old scabs, which are now dry, have shrinked enormously and aren't red anymore. Hubby has promised to stay with me so I won't pick after. ;) So I know I'll look normal/good again in a day... I just hope this time I'll be able to keep away from my face, after. Even because I'll go back to Japan in a few weeks, and I really DON'T want to sport fresh wounds and a scabby face on my flight!! Take care everyone! XXX
avatar

May 05, 2011

Yuuki & Drop-- I have been doing okay. Been doing "maintenance" picking on occasion- which I have accepted I will always do sometimes -( and I guess to some point most people sorta do) but I was even mad that I did that. So I confessed it imediately to my husband crying angrily....Luckily I didnt do a lot of damage, but I am glad I made myself accountable right away and didnt run and hide and push everyone away from me. ****** Seeing that my skin is healing and looking healthier is SO exciting that I dont want to mess that up!! I have a family reunion to go to in July, so I have 2+ months to get my face looking better and 'presentable' . Most of these people I havent seen in ten or more years so I dont know how I will be judged- and the scariest thing about it all it that it is at the beach :( so hiding and spots the whole time will be even MORE anxiety producing and awkward. I almost want to cancel but I really dont have the option--FREAKING OUT BUT GIVES ME A GOAL!!!!! ****** Havent touched my 'body skin' which is really good! I want to wear shorts/skirts this summer and not bake in jeans and pants. **** Now to just heal my forehead (mostly discoloration/ not active spots) and keep my damn hands NOT to myself LOL!!!!! Anxiety and anger/frustration that leads to anxious behavior is a huge trigger--- anti-anxiety meds helping. Also taking daily N- Aceltylcystiene (sp?) a supplement found at health food stores that has been proven in studies to reduce picking urges and has really helped me. Still wont put mirror back up in bathroom--- not ready.
avatar

May 05, 2011

Hey startexas! :) I'm so glad to read your skin is healing and looking better day by day. I perfectly understand when you talk about "maintenance picking", as I do the same!!! I think it's a pretty normal behaviour though, if it's an occasional thing. So don't beat yourself up: you're doing great! As long as you don't pick anything that isn't ready and you don't damage the skin it shouldn't be a problem. The real problem for us picker is managing to STOP and avoiding any damage, that's the real challenge. :/ I'm sure you'll look good for your family reunion in July, 2+ months are more than enough to heal completely. But please try not to think about it or it may trigger your anxiety (at least that's how it works for me). Don't think about how other people could judge you, because for perfectionist like us it's a terrifying thought and might lead to picking. Just think you're going to stop picking for YOURSELF, for your physical and mental health. I'm doing fine, my old scabs fell off and I'm very happy! Skin's looking healthier and I don't want to mess with it. Yesterday I picked a little bit but didn't break the skin, so today I look normal and pretty with a little mineral concealer and blush on. Hope I'll manage to keep it up this time!
avatar

May 05, 2011

Totally forgot about Aloe!!! I have a huge plant in my yard and it does wonders! Bye-bye boo-boos...
avatar

May 08, 2011

Hey guys! How are things going? I'm doing great, finally free of scabs and feeling so much better! This is my day 5, though sometimes I'm still picking at small blemishes when I see they're ready (aka only if they have a VISIBLE and superficial whitehead on top). I just press gently with my fingertips and don't use any tool. I'm pretty proud of myself cause I have some teeny-tiny spots on my forehead which I'd have surely ripped off 1 week ago, leaving gaping holes. Instead this time I haven't picked at them! They have no whitehead and are almost invisible, I don't want to ruin my progress. Now I'm scared of breaking the skin, cause I still don't look good without makeup because of the red marks. :/ I know I made all of them and I feel so guilty! They make me sad, but I try to think they'll fade over time. I don't want to deal with read marks and scars anymore! I'm happy I look normal and pretty with some mineral concealer on, I hope I'll manage to keep it on. I'll let you know! Stay strong and have a happy sunday, everyone. XXX
avatar

May 08, 2011

Yuuki and startexas, im so so glad that ye are doing so good. well done!! I havbt written for a while bcos to be honest i didnt want to jinx it. alot has happened. I feel like i have turned a corner and am on the road to recovery. Something twigged with me last week after my session with my counseller, i cudnt tell you what. Also i started on medication on Thursday which was a huge step for me. So basically i have been pick free (apart from about 5 tiny squeezes around the corners of my nose and chin) for 7 days!!! I actually cant believe it. i havnt really had much of an urge either which is so strange. it must be the medication kicking in i dont know. Im still not goin to let my guard down. had a little urge today and really had to fight it off. anyway im really tired and need to get some sleep. keep in touch guys and keep up the fight!!! Doesnt it feel so much better wen ur face isnt a mess!!!? I cant wait for my next night out wen my face will be clear and i can wear bare shoulders and back!!! vxxx
avatar

May 08, 2011

We can do it! I am joining in on your 10 day challenge. This has got to stop, and I know I tell myself the same thing every day. Maybe if we write notes on our mirrors it will help us defeat this terrible urge. We will get through this.
avatar

May 09, 2011

something new that i'm gonig to try is to pretend this is really easy to jsut stop. I think i psyche myself out like oh this is so hard i'll never do it but maybe if i tell myself i am just as normal as the next person who doesn't suffer from this horrible disease i'll be able to thoughtlessly quit. i'll keep you posted.
avatar

May 16, 2011

Hi girls! :) How are you doing? Drop, I'm so glad to read you're on medication and pick-free! It's great, how are you feeling? I'm fine, I haven't picked in 7 days, a record for me! Today I look pretty and I'm very happy. Sure, I still have red marks, but hopefully they'll fade with time. Yesterday hubby and I went back to Tokyo. It's been a very long flight and when we arrived our apartment seemed more like a crypt (we had left for 2 entire months because of the Fukushima nuclear plant risk), so even if we were super-tired we spent the whole day cleaning. Today we're just resting and playing videogames. :D So far I didn't have any urges and feel confident and relaxed, gotta keep my guard up though! I'm pretty scared of the future, even because we may have to move out in a month and that'll be quite stressful! :/ Oh well, we'll see... anyway it's useless to worry about it NOW. I'd rather enjoy my day and this spring in Japan. Take care everyone! XXX
avatar

May 17, 2011

hey yuuki, sorry i havnt written in ages. im so so glad to hear u are doing well. well done pet!! i hope u can keep it up. stay strong and keep the guard up all the time even wen u think u have turned a corner with all this. u seem alot brighter and happier in the last email! im not doing good at all. i went to something like 8 days and then it all went back to square one again last week and i have picked almost every day for the past 7 days. i dont understand it bcos i really thought it was different this time. im just after a really long session of it on my face, back and arms where i literally savaged my skin. i was like some one possessed. i just had to get it all out! so now im feeling way down again. im so tired of this. what have we done to deserve this life?! how easier my life wud be if i didnt have this problem. anyway as usual im dreading work tomorrow cos i look a state but i will pick myself back up and try again. keep in touch xxx