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Picknomore , 08 May 2011

trying hard not to make things worse

Hi everyone! I am a face picker who has drastically reduced picking for at least two years. My face has been looking so much better. Finally got rid of scars left by constant picking with treatments using glygolic acid and laser. Last year brown patches on my forehead appeared and the compulsion to pick started to come back. Everything i consider a defect on my face makes me want to pick. I therefore grew my fringe so as not to see these brown patches on my forehead and i managed to ward off the urge. .In the meantime i had some treatments done to try and fade the patches with laser. Last treatment I had the dermatologist, seeing a few broken capillaries on my cheeks decided to remove these too. Unfortunately, i reacted badly and seeing that the small crusts where not going away after a few days i began to pick. Once started that was it I just carried on.. i made the situation worse using a cortisone cream and am now left with a red patch on my cheek with more broken capillaries and with a deep hole where I picked the scabs. I've now covered it with a plaster to try and stop me picking at it further. No one knows about this habit not even my husband. You can't imagine all the lies i tell to justify my wounds. This time I made up i got an aggressive herpes that left these signs on my cheek. I have taken two days off work because i dont want to "face" my colleagues like this. As if two days is going to make a difference. Tomorrow i will ring the dermatologist in tears and hope that he can fix to some extent my damage. I wish i could stop I feel so bad inside and angry with myself for doing this to myself. I feel so ugly and worthless. I just want to shut myself indoors and hide. Please help. Thanks for listening.
4 Answers
May 08, 2011
Stay strong. I have only just discovered this website & I'm learning alot about why I pick. I'm am currently on day 2 of no picking. It's not easy but I'm doing it. I've never done even 1 day before. U have made a start by doing this. My husband knows & I've told him what I am doing so he can support me. I felt alone but 2moro I am going to tell my close friend about it. I need to share so I can get the weight of this off my shoulders & move forward. Perhaps it would help u to do thus. Why don't u tell ur husband? I feel so much better for finally finding the reasons & opening up about it & being honest with others & myself. I know it won't be easy though.
May 08, 2011
am feeling so bad... my face is a mess.... a big extremely red angioma on my cheek with a hole in the middle. i just want to hide. I tried to cover it with make up but its too red. i feel so bad for causing this... i want to end this sufferance i feel inside and outside. How am I giong to "face" people looking like this ? I just want to go to sleep and not wake up so that i dont have to look at myself and be looked at.. I know that what im saying is terrible but i just feel worhtless. I m glad i found this forum it helps to speak. Thanks for listening.
May 08, 2011

In reply to by Picknomore

Picknomore, I feel so sorry for you! :( You wrote the same exact things I've thought so many times (--> Until 3 weeks ago - when I first posted here - I too would have liked to never wake up and now I haven't picked in 5 days, which is an amazing result for me. I know how you're feeling, believe me. Please, stay strong! Skin picking is a hell of a disease and the road to recovery is full of relapses. You managed to almost stop picking for 2 years: that's an amazing result! You will manage again. I'm sure your cheek will heal too. Smear some aloe gel or calendula cream on it (they have amazing healing properties, great for cut or burns, and are very soothing), then use some Neosporin or clyndamicing gel (for the antibiotic properties) and cover with a bandaid. Also take a multivitamin, especially big doses of vitamin C and 15 to 30mg of zinc everyday: they support healing of wounds, avoid infections and fade red marks and scarring faster. Don't use makeup on it, at least for a few days! Also if you could go to the dermatologist tomorrow morning it would be great, so he could look at your cheek and maybe prescribe something. Let us know how it goes, and don't give up. A big hug! XXX
May 08, 2011

In reply to by Yuuki

Thanks for youranswer.... it helps me to know that i'm not alone. Tomorrow i will try and get an appointment with the dermatologist. My cheek is soooooo red full of broken capillaries and these three lovely deep scars. God what a mess. It's a miracle i havent picked at it today. Thanks for your support . Hug.

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