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InvisibleDeer , 24 Sep 2011

Bouncing Back

So I thought I was done with picking but I found myself tearing up my shoulders again last night so I guess that's why I'm here. I've always been really anxious, since I was a kid, and started to pick I think after I stopped cutting at the end of middle school. It started at my face, and then my shoulders because I was embarrassed of having my face being seen. Then I migrated to my breasts after joining swim team because my shoulders could be seen when I wore a swimsuit. I've always had bad acne, and I've always been self conscious, being taller then most girls. I thought maybe I was trying to widdle away myself, to be smaller. I suffered a horrible breast infection after a while, got very sick and had to go to the hospital and have it drained with a needle. I of course lied to my parents, telling them that It was the acne that caused it, after that I've had another minor one since, and alot of scars. The scars, they fade you know, after a while? Of course they never completely go away but they do fade. I've gone almost a year now with my skin healed, at least until now. It's one of the most wonderful feelings, not having to worry about being hurt or weather your clothes are to tight or show too much. I would fret endlessly about my wounds, horrified of getting another infection, yet apparently not so horrified to stop picking. The anxiety and discomfort would make me sweat, I went through so many failed home remedies and acne treatments in secret. I would loose sleep staying up all night with an ice pack and a jar of honey, hoping that with that I could finally heal, I could finally be normal and stop hiding away. My arms were stiff at my sides then to hide my nervous sweating, I was always on edge and always in pain, wearing the same clothes over and over to hide my shoulders.I painted them with makeup before my prom I remember, it didn't help much, just left dark marks instead of red. I used to cut my nails down to the skin to try to keep myself from getting hurt but that only did so much. I'm tired you know, of hiding. Tired of being anxious, tired of lying. My shoulders are a mess, that's a month down the drain in one night. I was afraid before of writing anything here. I think that I've noticed something though, during those few months that I spent healed, because I could never stop thinking about picking. I realized that I want to heal, more then anything else right now, that I want to be healthy, but to do that I need help, I can't do this on my own and no one else can do this on their own either, so I joined this forum. I hope I can find some support here, and perhaps be some support for those in darker times then me.
3 Answers
September 25, 2011
I thought I was finally done with my picking habit on my face, but then I reverted back a couple days ago. Thankfully, though, I won't let myself all out tear up my face like I used to. I know It's just me trying to feel in control, but I'm not. The urge still controls me, but atleast I'm starting to tame it.
September 25, 2011

In reply to by Pochahontas

kcantwell OK Invisible Deer and Pochahontas. Did either one of you read my posting a couple weeks ago titled Possible Cure. This is a mental exercise that in one week has cured most pickers who would follow the instructions. It is not particularly easy, but it is not difficult either. It costs nothing but a little time, less than an hour a day. If you have any questions about it, how it was developed or why it works, e-mail me at I will answer your questions and provide you with the experience of others who have participated. I was a picker for over thirty years, so I know how you feel. I am an individual not connected with any organization. So get started. Relief is just a few days away. And please let me know how it works for you, Ken
October 04, 2011
I have had a LOT of luck with the amino acid N-acetyl cysteine, which is sometimes sold as N-acetyl L-cysteine, for my 11-year-old daughter who severely picks her skin (arms and legs). I'm hoping that everyone on this group will check it out. We started out at 1200mg each day, 600mg in the morning and 600mg in the evening. Then we worked up to 2400mg, 1200 mg in the morning and 1200 mg in the evening, within about 3 or 4 weeks. The study that was done in 2009 showed the best results were after 9 weeks of continuous treatment with this amino acid, also just known as NAC. We saw great results after 6 weeks. Please consider trying it. I am not a doctor, so please weigh out the risks for yourself. It has truly been a godsend. My daughter used to pick to the point of staph infections. She has scars all over her body. It works by regulating the URGE to pick. You can download the summary text of the 2009 study on this website - The study was for hair-pulling, but skin-picking and nail-biting result from similar sets of urges.

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