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tarab , 20 Jan 2009

Split End Pickers?

Okay, I don't know if ya'll do this but, I rip out my split ends and I have to see what they look like. I have to ge them all out of my hair. I am ripping out the back of my hair! Help, do you do this?
185 Answers
City girl
June 29, 2012

In reply to by californiagirl33

I too have been attacking my hair since i was 14, and it started exactly the same way, picking my split ends. It started innocently enough, but has evolved into a frenzy too often. I know its harmful, wrong & of course I'm ruining my hair - but somehow I can't really stop myself........ When I read your post, it was too familiar - someone out there just like me. So the question is, how do we stop attacking ourselves??? I'm going to try the "one day at a time" mentality, it's a more relaxed way of approaching this monster we've created. Any suggestions?? Thanks for your post & your bravery.....
Jpharris88
May 14, 2012
I have the same problem! I find myself at random moments picking out my split ends,looking at it and pulling the split ends apart. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember,especially at times when I'm bored,nervous basically when I have too much free time on my hands. I even do it while I'm driving . I've recently started putting the split end against my lip (hope no on thinks I'm weird for saying that lol). Pulling my split ends has caused my hair too be un even in several spots,when I'm around the house I have too have my hair wrapped with a wrap cap on or I'd sit there all day long pulling my hair out. The constant nagging from family and friends saying "stop pulling your hair out" is annoying, if I could stop the urge I defiantly would. Glad I came across this forum too see that I'm not the only one who has this problem. Anyone care too chat about their problem or a solution youve found feel free too email me,I could use some time. Jenniferpharris88@gmail.com
ladykatie
May 14, 2012
My mouth went agape when I saw this feed. I totally pick my split ends as well as pick my face. It drives my husband nuts. And my good friend, a hair dresser, tells me time and time again how awful picking at the ends is for the health of the hair. It's a nervous behavior that I try so hard to shake and can't. It dictates how I feel all the time; either like a million bucks for having resisted temptation for a few days or like a complete failure for giving in. There is no in between, and this rollercoaster of emotion only adds to my anxiety and the cycle. What I have been doing, that seems to help, is conciously pull my hair up any time I am home. As for my face picking, I have recently downloaded an App "Habit Maker, Habit Breaker" for my iPhone that you can track your bad habits and slowly try to progress through breaking a habit. It is helping me to make slow progress. Maybe it can be a helpful App for others. If anything, it has made me realize that cold turkey is impossible, and I have to set realistic and achievable goals, and be patient with myself. Progress is progress!
bellabella
June 03, 2012
I'm happy I came across this blog. I honestly didn't know a problem like this even existed, I thought it was just me. I started to get this problem at a early age maybe around 5th grade, and I stopped, and then went back to it. I can't see a split end on me, and when I see it on other people it kinda bugs me. I never do it in public, just when I'm alone, but my parents have catch me here and there, and they always tell me the same thing "Stop touching your hair" I do it when I'm nervous, or have anxiety mostly. I hate what I've done to my hair :/ it sucks because my hair could of had potential to have actually looked really nice, but my hair is soo damaged, uneven, and I'm embarrassed to even get my hair cut because ladies who cut my hair always have a comment to say. Like many of you say I can stop for a couple of days , but then I give in. I get sooo mad at myself, I don't want to be older and let this disgusting habit take over my life. I want to stop, and I honestly believe we CAN STOP THIS ! It's mind over matter. Somethings that have helped me stop is getting my nails done, having long nails is much harder to pick at your hair , and of course having your hair up helps as well. I believe that I can stop, and I'm going to try and do whatever it takes, because I don't want to be bald in the long run.
spxc1219
June 07, 2012
I have recently started doing this, but I thought it was good for my hair becasue It was getting rid of my split ends. But apparently not. I do this in school when I am bored, but i didn't know I could develop bald spots! I have to stop before it gets worse! Thanks so much for making me aware that it could turn out to be something more than just something I do when im bored.
ELAINE566
July 01, 2012
crikey me. ive read alot of these comments and i cannot believe it. We dont want to do this do we? i turned 45 yesterday and i have not been doing this all my life. infact only as recent as 18 months or 2 years ago!!! ive had alot of shit to deal with. ive been taking a.dep. for 5 years. when im working i am fine because my hands are busy. and like now typing this i am fine. but at times i do feel quite anxious, so maybe thats why.
Stressed_0403
July 29, 2012
Hi I'm 16 and I've suddenly started doing it cuz u didn't know what a split end looked like and now it's like a drug and I can't stop. I had really really long dark wavy hair and now it's curly frizzy and shoulder length I also now straighten my hair and it's in such bad shape, I really thought it was only me who did this im so glad I found this blog!! It feels so much better to talk about this, if anyone has found a way to stop this habit PLEASE email me at Sophia.jb@me.com it would mean so much and my hair was beautiful and I don't know how to stop its really getting me down and if anyone wants t
Stressed_0403
July 29, 2012
Hi I'm 16 and I've suddenly started doing it cuz u didn't know what a split end looked like and now it's like a drug and I can't stop. I had really really long dark wavy hair and now it's curly frizzy and shoulder length I also now straighten my hair and it's in such bad shape, I really thought it was only me who did this im so glad I found this blog!! It feels so much better to talk about this, if anyone has found a way to stop this habit PLEASE email me at Sophia.jb@me.com it would mean so much and my hair was beautiful and I don't know how to stop its really getting me down and if anyone wants to talk please email me :) and if anyone knows any good products lemme know :) thanks x
SadieEleanor
November 24, 2012

In reply to by bethdeacker

This ain't about getting a haircut. It is psychological. If you have long hair, or anything to pick, you are gonna pick when you feel anxiety. It's about time, or lack of it, and desire. Many desires, overwhelmed by too little time to achieve them. You can push back that fear and those obligations with a little "time" for contemplation. But the overachiever in you needs to be kept busy in the meantime. Hey, allow yourself not to have to "do" anything. That thought, although impossible, will really get you relaxed and keep your hands down.
kelsey
November 07, 2012
It started when I read in a magazine about a girl who picked at her split ends and was sad when she got a haircut. I didn't know what split ends were at the time and made it my goal to find one. I guess things kind of snowballed from there becuase now it's an obsession. I can't barely get through a day without picking at my hair. This is a huge distraction and embarrasment in school especially when I get called out on it. But I can't help it either! I kinda consider myself an expert becuase I recognize t different "types" of split ends, where the the best places for visibility of the hairs(usually brightly lit or sunny areas), or where on my head i should pick at. Creepy right? I've been at it for a while though. I almost wish I had bad vision so I couldn't see those pesky details anyways. I'm not exactly outgoing in the first place but I have no doubts that my...condition...has set me apart socially. It's awful. I hate it. I'm ruining my hair. And I really dont want to deal with this the rest of my life!...and as nice as it is to rant to people who get it, this page hasnt really given me much hope): Please help!
gypsygirl14
November 25, 2012

In reply to by kelsey

I've often thought that the fact that I have such great vision contributed to my picking. I have read several places that pickers pick at "nonexistant" or "imagined" spots, and that may be true for some, but I have great vision and can see every pore and whether it is clogged or not, and so on. I change focus, from picking at my hair, to my skin, so I don't think I may be damaging any one place as bad a some do, but it is still really embarrasing to look up and see someone saw you picking at yourself. I work hard at my job, which keeps me distracted a lot, but if I have any down time, you can bet I will pick, or I also do it while doing other tasks sometimes, such as sitting at the desk, making a schedule, ect. I think we need a fog horn blown at us every time we reach to pick or something, lol.
SadieEleanor
November 24, 2012
I started pulling my split ends when I was 11 years old. I had just moved and started a new school with some mean girls. I was standing in the sunlight of my brother's bedroom, and I discovered them. I remember standing there and letting the pieces fall into a planter. I was hooked. That was 44 years ago. For the longest time I was upset because it ruined the look of my hair--I thought that I could perhaps have beautiful long hair if I could stop. Never did. I even kept my hair short for about 15 years, and that is the only extended period that I have ever stopped. I would have said "been able to stop." But, while I am pulling apart the split ends right now, I "believe" that it is much more manageable than before. I don't even have to read that it is an obsessive compulsive disorder. You can read about that, but you can't learn anything about getting rid of it through reading. I guess at 55, I am the oldest and most experienced split end picker on the blog. Here are my thoughts: There are way more people writing in about this than there were 10 years ago. Conduct an experiment. As soon as you feel your hands going towards your hair (scabs, whatever), remember what you were talking about; what person you were thinking about. I guarantee this is caused by nerves. For many years, I "attacked" my hair, as someone just used that term ie: I discovered that rather than waiting for split ends to appear, I could create them by pulling on the hair apart. Also, I had started to "sift" a little harder. Stop all that, and at least limit yourself to the god created splits. They are more interesting anyway. That limit, I think you can do, and is less damaging. Collin Firth (my sister told me) does it and he said that he was attracted to the "feel" of the hair shaft splitting. I think he is right. Believe it that this is a truly psychological problem. We must be more nervous than other people. And I think we definately feel out of control of our time and life time. Maybe we should respect our time and desires very much and do just that. What freedom that would be. We are probably super achievers caught up in a regimented life and world. Our closest achievement is the number of ends we pull. We must take control of our own time to be able to pursue all of the lovely things on our agenda. I also think that there is a possibility that we have very fine lovely hair that is rife for getting split ends. While you are doing it, think about the things you would REALLY rather be doing with your time.
neebs
December 06, 2012
oh.my.god. i am such a split end addict, literally talking about this gives me a 'folicole boner'. it bugs the shit out of me when my friends tease me and act like im just exaggerating the extent of my addiction. even just typing what i previously typed, ive stopped about 5 times to pick my ends. my mouth starts to water when i think of a 'tree' classified split end, and you sit there and tease yourself with it, before you split the shit out out it, by running your thumb and index finger up and down the hair, feeling every little bump. i battle every day with this and im out of ideas. theres NOTHING. my splits are the most attractive and desiring in front of a computer screen, so it almost IRRESISTABLE,brcause i use bright items like so daily, like my cell phone, the teacher projector, the TV, sunlight, dark colored background (blonde hair so it pops it). its IMPOSSIBLE to avoid all of these everyday life factors. HELP. sadly,i cant rant anymore, im getting too worked up...HELP ME.
missbiscuit
December 11, 2012
OMG, I can't tell you how much it means to me to see that I'm not the only one battling this! I have tears in my eyes! I hate to sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party, but I just have such limited control over my split end picking. And it's not just the split ends - it gradually evolved over time to breaking off the ends of my hair and I have such uneven hair - I manage to pull it off as layers most of the time but I have one piece in back that's especially embarrassing, I just can't stop picking at it. In the past, getting a haircut has helped at least for a few days, but lately it's actually made things even more painful. I had one today, and I just picked for a while. I'll often insult my hair to the hairdresser - say something along the lines of "I know it looks terrible," and they never disagree with me, and that just makes me hurt more. I should stop doing that. It's so hard, though - hairdressers aren't necessarily trying to be psychologists and I don't blame them. It just makes the problem worse for me, though, at least it has lately. But, it's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've never met anyone else with this problem. Especially not anyone else that it's all-consuming for, like it is for me. Is it trichotillomania? Well, it's miserable, whatever it is. It's not the only nervous habit I have, either. Maybe I'm OCD, although I've never been diagnosed with it. These days, my nervous habits feel like the only thing I have control over. :(
Phizzy
December 27, 2012
Hi I'm 12 now it's really are for me to stop my hair feels dry frizzy and horrible since I permed it. Even after I have a bath! I don't know whether my hair will grow after i pick it but i still cant stop. i pik in tis one place loads so I kida have a bald patch. My so called friends laugh at me cause I dot have much hair in that place. I only do this when I'm bored or am anxious. I have tried trimming but they are still there! I'm so happy I found out about this blog cause I thought I was all by myself.
Phizzy
December 27, 2012
Hi I'm 12 now it's really are for me to stop my hair feels dry frizzy and horrible since I permed it. Even after I have a bath! I don't know whether my hair will grow after i pick it but i still cant stop. i pik in tis one place loads so I kida have a bald patch. My so called friends laugh at me cause I dot have much hair in that place. I only do this when I'm bored or am anxious. I have tried trimming but they are still there! I'm so happy I found out about this blog cause I thought I was all by myself.

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