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Noscubs , 14 Sep 2009

personality traits of skin pickers?

Hello! I think it would be interesting to know the personality traits of you skin pickers, if there could be any similarities that could help us understand and overcome our problem. It hasn't have to be really serious stuff, just things you find troublesome in your lives. Starting with myself, fear has been a major theme in my life. These are problems I have or have had: - Hypochondria, mostly for brain "illnesses" - Identity crisis, for example related to gender identity - Sexual fears, for example compulsively searching for signs that my boyfriends are pedophiles :( - Fears of being watched. As a child I was convinced that people stared at me, and I thought there was something special/weird about me... :o I often feel really uneasy when people watch me, at times I don't want to look people in the eyes. - As younger, fears of my thoughts being read - Guilt OK, I sound like a total wacko... It's not as bad as it sounds. :) But I would be really happy to know more about your personality traits!
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crzygirl22
November 24, 2009
Okay DONT GET DISCOURAGED!! But I have been to therapy. I have seen a psychotherapist, I have been through cognitive behavorial therapy, I have been on antidepressants, I even went as far as being hypontized. Unfortunately for me, these did not cure me, but thats me. But I will say that it helped. It helped to not lie about it and admit it to someone, admit every part of it. I am close with my family I have a great boyfriend, but these are things so private I have never been able to talk with them about it. At my worst, before all the therapy, I had well over 300 cuts on my body (after like 325 i couldnt bring myself to keep counting) and now I am down to about 20 (over the summer I only had 5! I wore a skirt for the first time since I was a child). I say go for it. It didnt completely cure me but maybe I didnt find the right meds. Also in the middle of my therapy I lost my insurance and couldnt afford to keep going. I think had I, I may be free of this today. So while I am not cured, I am not as bad. I would encourage EVERYONE on this site to seek therapy. This disorder effects more than the skin, your body isnt the only thing in need of healing. I am currently looking for a new therapist as my last one left town and I finallllllllllllly have health insurance again. Let me know how yours goes, and I'll tell yah about mine. =) DONT GET DISCOURAGED if your like me youve been doing this a longgggg time and it will take time to conquer.. god knows Im still tryin!
Kali
November 24, 2009
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for saying to try the therapy. I will!!! I have been doing this chronically for 30 very long years. I had ALOT of bad stuff happen to me in my childhood and teens (like many here) but then I met my husband and became a Christian and have tried so hard to put the past behind me but I just have not been able to. I just figured that since I had things so good at last, that I should just be able to put it all in the past and focus on my blessings. As wonderful as that was and is, it wasn't enough for me to heal because I've kept it inside all this time. I also never really talked to my husband about my past much, the few times that I tried it was really uncomfortable for him. He did not grow up with a family that discussed personal everyday things let alone the deeply personal, embarrassing and horrible things I've had to deal with. So when he was uncomfortable I clammed up completely, it was hard enough to even get up the courage to decide to open up. When he felt embarrassed it made me want to crawl in a hole. It's not his fault but it has effected our 26 yr. marriage because I had nobody to talk to. Nobody that I felt like I could confide this stuff to. I know it's cowardly but even the thought of a therapists reaction or dismissiveness (which did happen one time) was too much to bear so I never went. I was on Prozac for 8 1/2 yrs due to depression but I finally weaned myself off of that over a year ago and will never take anti depressants again. I'm not criticising anyone else's choice for taking them but the pharmaceuticals have done me more harm than good. I honestly don't know if I will be cured but even if I'm not I would happily take a big reduction in my compulsiveness to pick. You seemed to have made a great deal of improvement and I'm so happy for you!!! :O) I hope you go back to therapy and maybe you will kick it completely, wouldn't that be wonderful??!! I completely agree that the skin picking isn't the only thing that needs healing, I believe it's just an outward manifestation of the inside pain and injury that cannot get out.
jenny.v
February 17, 2010
How do you know me so well! I just read your comment and I was like yeah that's me, and that, and that, and.... how did she know that!? I can't deal with any kind of stress very well, I overanalyse any negative comments, I struggle in social situations, I am convinced that I am mildly autistic but no-on will believe me, I'm a very anxious and tense person and I definately have an addictive personality but it comes in waves. But one main thing is that I always look on the positive side of things for myself and others. But I think this could be doing me more harm because I'm just pushing away the problem rather than actually talking it over and dealing with it in a positive way (not picking at my skin). This site has been a big help and has encouraged me to bounce back and try seeing the doctor again. Thank you everyone :)
Nemji
December 28, 2009
Things that have been constant in my life is the amount of stress that has been added like my fathers passing, my brother being physically disabled, and my mother going through depression. I have always been the one to take care and be responsible for the household. I have OCD tendencies such as having things ordered a certain way. I even eat certain foods a certain way; I like my foods separated, not even touching. Things has to be organized through color, size or importance. I had anorexia because I thought I was fat and unattractive so I exercised excessively. I didn't purge however. I like to line up my things in a certain way and if someone disturbs that "system", I get all mad, frustrated, and even dumbfounded. This one time, my boyfriend took off the plastic from my router and he wasn't supposed to so I started freaking out, yelling at him, asking him "Why'd you do that?! You're NOT supposed to do that! Put it back!" Hmm, my favorite color is red so things that I like has to be red. My DS Lite, iPod, shirts, underwear, hat, and socks are red. I have certain themes that I like and if I like something, I seem to be obsessed with it. The newest thing this year is being obsessed with Tokidoki brands, supported by LeSport Sac. I even went so far as to keep the spoons and bowl from Yogurtland that supports Tokidoki...enough traits for you? :P
anniem
February 14, 2010
wow, so many similarities! some of the things i relate to/characteristics: anxiety...over EVERYTHING! bulimia/overeating, so i am overweight (but have lost 25 lbs. in the last 4 months, so i'm getting better), hoarding, social anxiety--not wanting to go out of the house sometimes, avoiding intimacy--haven't even been on a date in about 3 years, hypochondria. i also come from an abusive home--dad was an alcoholic and mom never did anyting to protect me (can you say resentment?) so i have some anger over that. i'm also a total daydreamer and artist and an expert procrastinator. i have fears about dying on a regular basis, not because i'm afraid of death but because i'm afraid that people will find out my secret and what a mess i am once i do die! very isolated and lonely but i do think i'm a good person. i'm very sensitive actually but i hide it well.
DebFL555
February 14, 2010
Annie, Your comment reminded me of myself in so many ways. I am 54 yrs. old and have been picking for 5 years now. My son died in December 2008 and it has gotten even worse since then. I have made numerous appointments with the dermatologist, only to cancel at the last minute due to embarrassment. I live in Florida and can't wear a bathing suit or shorts. All year round, I cover everything up. Then, I have to listen to people asking me why. I too have allowed myself to become completely isolated and lonely. Your statement regarding fear of intimacy really made me think that may be the root of my problem. God knows, you can't get close to or reveal yourself to someone if your skin is a horrible mess. Thanks for helping me see some things I hadn't realized before. Hopefully, it's a first step towards helping myself. Deb, FL
anniem
February 15, 2010
wow, i'm so glad it helped! i'm sure that your son's death has been really difficult and it would make sense that it impacted your picking habits. i'm so glad to have found this forum so we can all help each other to get well.
LisaB
February 15, 2010
Wow! This is alot to take in finding this website tonight. I cannot believe in reading the stories just exactly how much we have in common. I am 49 and have been a skin picker for as long as I can remember. It just started out as a nail biter...but I graduated to skin picking shortly there after of my fingers. I chew them till they are all bloody and sore. Then I do all I can to hide them from other, then lie about why they look like they do when asked. I believe like many of you I started to do this because of anxiety. I grew up with a crazy, abusive, alcoholic mother and father who grew more and more distant as he just chose to save himself. I was scared to death of her. She had rages of anger for which I often felt she would end up killing me over. I hated to be driven in a car by her for fear of a fatal accident. As I grew older, I also developed more of a weight problem and I also seclude myself as often as possible. I envy people who have lots of friends, but when I am with most people I find them such a pain in the ass frankly. And I am sure the entire time they see me as such a disaster. I get my feelings hurt easily, though tend to get angry when hurt and often lash out at people. I have been married for 26 years and have one child. Our lives are not perfect, but as you can imagine, I'm the nut in the house. I lost my maternal grandparents which I was close to, my father, and my mother in a span of 9 years. The last to go was my mom in 07. On one had I am relieved she is gone as I finally no longer and living in the fear the phone will ring and she will have killed 10 in a drunk driving accident, but now I am one angry person. Pissed off at how much she ruined so many things with her drinking culminating with her death, which was a direct result of alcoholism. I am a mess. I am obsessed with thoughts of death....not suicide, but fear of dying. I fear it will come earlier than it should because I am such a mess. I am glad to find u all, but then discouraged to find there if no shrinks close to on the list provided to seek help. Hell I'm paralyzed with fear to SEEK help. So afraid they will lock me up, or my condition will get out (I'm an RN, so this isn't paranoia, people run their mouths too much!). I chew my fingers, eat all day, and only leave the house to go to work or grocery shop or pick up my child from school. I want to be fixed!
rebma
August 02, 2010
SWeet heart i am a stright forward so dont take what i say hrushly......the feel good and blance out again you need to A get a DOG...B get a very good pair of running shoes C get a Mp3 or IPOD and fill it will the music that makes you feelgood and happy .D THen you take that dog, and you walk your butt right out the door of your house every day, and you walk and if u can run ,running would be better.find a beachside or park and just do it and be a in peace.Then take dance class or somthing like that ,that you;ve always wanted to do and let all your stress and pains melt away , with all the phiscal exrisce your body and mind will feel good and your brain will relase hormons that will make you fell happy and normal again....Trust me just do it , it did and now i feel so full of life again !! Its life changeing so honey just do it
anniegetyourgun
December 20, 2010
What have you done since this post re becoming 'fixed'? I am a RN as well and am also 49. I don't want to be 50 and still skin picking. How do we reprograame ourselves to deal with the abuse we were dealt with as children. I think it takes about 28 days to 'lay' down new neural pathways, to retrain our thinking..to go a month with positive mantras to ourselves and the recognition of triggers to our skin picking and the ability to distract ourselves would be a joy. One of the triggers for me is hearing about my parents from another family member for instance, then I have the urge to go to the bathroom mirror and skinpick. And then there is the ensuing shame and sadness. We will get fixed, everyday we need to find something positive for ourselves to do because we have already undergone so much grief and torture. We'll get there!
cheftk
February 15, 2010
I am so glad that I found this website. I never knew that this was a disorder and that there are so many of us out there. I'm 26 and from South Afica. I don't know why I pick, but it is something I can not stop. I am very successfull in my career and also get a lot of publicity for what I do. I hate it when I see a photo of me in a newspaper or magazine and try to avaoid it as far as possible. I have very low self worth and I don't know where it comes from, but I feel I don't deserve anything or any praise for what I do, so I pick at my face and my arms so that I can say....no one wants to see me. My fear of failing is my biggest downfall......if no one knows about me then no one will know I failed at something. This is such a paradox in my life because like I said I am really successfull (this is what people tell me) and still I fail at the biggest thing....life! I suck at life!! That is probably why I do what I do because the more I work, the less time I have to deal with myself. I am a chef, so its very easy to tell people that all the scars and scabs on my arms are burns. The worst part is the guilt that I feel for the amount of gratafication I get from picking/ feeling the pain/ seeing the blood. I am so over friends and family hitting me and saying "don't pick" all the time. It drives me insane. I need to get help and I really want it now that I know that this problem is real and there are others like me. Someone told me on friday that I am crazy and only crazy people do this to themselves........if so I'm glad to have some support here in the loony bin!!
ocdFreak
February 15, 2010
Oh I definitely understand! I felt crazy for the longest time because I have never met anyone else who does this to themselves. I almost thought 'well it is a good thing this person is a chef, now they have the perfect lie!' but that is actually not so great too, because I have found that as long as I have the perfect lie to tell other people, I can use that as an excuse to myself to continue picking. As long as they don't know the truth, I can go on doing it secretly! That is not a success and I realize more these days, since I used to lie to people a lot about it. I hope you find solitude in this site and perhaps look over the 40 day challenge post - I am doing it. Today is day one for me, supposedly after 40 days of not giving into an addiction will cause the urges to diminish significantly, you just have to withstand 40 days of not doing it! We are here to do it with you though - I recommend you check out that post. Good day and good luck!
horseanimal11
February 18, 2010
I'm a 13 year old girl. So far, I've never had anything too bad go wrong in my life, I don't think. However, I'm a perfectionist and also pretty anxious. I'm terrified of throwing up. I always stress out over getting straight A's, although I suppose I don't need to, since I'm smart already. I find that I take on new responsibilities easily, and don't let go of them, regardless of how overwhelmed I feel. I am a loner and pretty quirky, and tend to hang out more with the other outsiders than with the kids I sit with (now that I think about it, why sit with them anyway?). And I've been noticing lots of similarities between everyone here...
Ginger_Snapp
February 22, 2010
Haha, wow. Im reading this, and i just notice - I've been YOU. Two years ago, when I was thirteen, I was you. Im still dealing with the skin problems, but everything else in my life is great now. Took two years to get it that way. My advice to a kindred spirit: Dont sit with them. Trust me. if Im right about my explanation of your lunch hour, then leave, and sit somewhere else. - You sit there, but are never invited into the conversation. Your comments often go unnoticed until you either speak them over the conversation or give up. When you tell stories people often stop listening of get distracted while you talk to them. You hate those people on the inside, but want to NOT hate them, because that would make you like them. If there aren't enough seats, your the first one "voted off the island". Been there, done that. Get out while you can. It will make things better. With best wishes, Caden
Ginger_Snapp
February 22, 2010
Haha, wow. Im reading this, and i just notice - I've been YOU. Two years ago, when I was thirteen, I was you. Im still dealing with the skin problems, but everything else in my life is great now. Took two years to get it that way. My advice to a kindred spirit: Dont sit with them. Trust me. if Im right about my explanation of your lunch hour, then leave, and sit somewhere else. - You sit there, but are never invited into the conversation. Your comments often go unnoticed until you either speak them over the conversation or give up. When you tell stories people often stop listening of get distracted while you talk to them. You hate those people on the inside, but want to NOT hate them, because that would make you like them. If there aren't enough seats, your the first one "voted off the island". Been there, done that. Get out while you can. It will make things better. With best wishes, Caden
jackassmel84
March 23, 2010
Aside from the throwing up thing, i was totally you when i was a teenager! I'm 25 now, and am very happy with myself and my life and the people in my life. However, i still compulsivly bite the skin on my hands. It's as bad as ever, if not worse on some days. I think that maybe the damage has been done, and now it's just a horrible habit now. I was very shy, anxious and even paranoid as a child. Always wanted to do well in school, and never had more than a few friends. Maybe that is why i started. Because it calmed my stress and anxiety, AND it is a very private and personal act when i bit. I can be alone and just get lost in it. I hope you get help!!! I wish i could when i was younger. I still do!!! I know how hard it is to be a teenager, and to do what we do on top of that can make it even tougher. The fact that you have looked for support so young and are comfortable enough to talk about it, is a good sign. I just recently started reaching out for public help. Hang in there!
ihopetorecover
February 24, 2010
i find myself picking when i become stressed/bored. when i'm in any 2 of those moods, i'm sure to pick. and from what i've read, it seems like tons of people pick when they are stressed to. i guess, it's a stress reliever for us (a bad one too).

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