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Noscubs , 14 Sep 2009

personality traits of skin pickers?

Hello! I think it would be interesting to know the personality traits of you skin pickers, if there could be any similarities that could help us understand and overcome our problem. It hasn't have to be really serious stuff, just things you find troublesome in your lives. Starting with myself, fear has been a major theme in my life. These are problems I have or have had: - Hypochondria, mostly for brain "illnesses" - Identity crisis, for example related to gender identity - Sexual fears, for example compulsively searching for signs that my boyfriends are pedophiles :( - Fears of being watched. As a child I was convinced that people stared at me, and I thought there was something special/weird about me... :o I often feel really uneasy when people watch me, at times I don't want to look people in the eyes. - As younger, fears of my thoughts being read - Guilt OK, I sound like a total wacko... It's not as bad as it sounds. :) But I would be really happy to know more about your personality traits!
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individually_sound
August 24, 2010
Started at a relateively young age. Noticed my mother picking and saw my own fingers and though they were too fat and rough. SO I began picking them. I incessantly try to remove scabs because they are blemishes. I remove every rough peice of skin because I dont like the way it feels (in cluding callouses that have developed from picking). I have control issues because of my mother and Im always paranoid that she can see me from whereever she is. I have a social anxiety and a irrational fear of crowds and females. I have a problem with authority which is PART of the reason I can't be told by people to stop picking. But generally around strangers in small groups, and my friends and family I'm very personable and friendly
REH5057
December 19, 2010
I'm 21 and have been engaging in some form of self-mutilation all my life. I have anxiety issues. I use to have fears of hurting myself or someone else. I have anxiety in large crowds and am very self-conscious of what others think of me. I've never really had any form of OCD besides skin picking. I over-think a lot of things. My thought when it comes to skin picking is that if I pick at it, it will make the skin smooth and better looking. This of course is never the case. When I pick, I seem to enter a trance and it calms me. It distracts me from whatever else is going on.
iguana80s
December 20, 2010
I've been seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist for my skin picking, for a few weeks now. It's been very interesting. She given me tools that I am supposed to be working...like wearing gloves at home so I don't pick, turning off the light in the bathroom when I wash my face and brush my teeth so I can't find things to pick, spending time practicing mindfulness meditation, etc.. We've also been disecting the triggers and have uncovered some interesting things with personality and anxiety. A strong desire for perfection - in which case I am supposed to practice allowing imperfections on my face, starting small with blackheads around my nose, etc. I've noticed that when there is something that I don't want to deal with I pick as a way of avoidence, both emotionally and with tasks that I don't want to do. I noticed that when there was an issue I needed to deal with or think about but didn't want to I would pick so that I would go into a trance and my mind would go off into another place and not be able to think about what was upsetting me. A big one is being able to deal with things that I can not control, such as my skin. When I pick at a pimple sometimes it's because I just want it off my face, but of course we all know that it unfortunately doesn't work that way. Hopefully some of this is helpful.
RRW513
December 24, 2010
That's what I think is so weird about me. I can't think of one personality trait that would have anything to do with my picking other than I am also an obsessive compulsive eater. I am very outgoing, and friendly. I'm very spontaneous. I am not a perfectionist at all. I actually like myself though I didn't always, and I think I am quite attractive. I'm not paranoid or anxious. I honestly don't even have anything that triggers my picking, I just do it 24/7. I don't think I have bad skin at all though I used to when I first started picking. I know the things I pick at aren't things anyone else notices. I didn't have a great childhood, and I know my picking stems from that, but it seems like I've adjusted well in every other way.
Prefect13
December 24, 2010
I have fears of something bad happenning if I change the way in which I do something. I am a perfectionist. I am always anxious and have trouble making eye contact with people; however, I still can be quite outgoing at times.
Shorty999
December 29, 2010
I think a lot of my reasoning stems from anxiety and control. I grew up under an alcoholic where I was put down a lot and felt I never did anything right. Then, I went into an emotionally abusive relationship after highschool that has lead to divorce. I have also been diagnosed with a medical disability that has lead to several job losses. Now, my skin-picking is at it's worst. I feel loss of control like I don't know what is going to happen in my life next. When I am most stressed, I pick more. When I look in the mirror, I hate myself. I look at my face and see some imperfections and think "If I see it, then people in public definately see it, so I have to get rid of it." So, having eczema, I peel the flakes, which lead to pits in my skin and I won't stop unless it gets to the point where it's very painful or it bleeds. Then, I feel worse afterwards, but then i think "I'll just cover it up with some make-up." Again, I think it's a control thing.
sho1234
December 29, 2010
Shorty 999-i can relate to a lot of the feelings u have encounterd. I can so relate to the imperfection thing,' if i can see it so can they'. Im now not going to mirror to examine face. If in bathroom i stand back frum mirror and if it looks fine from there i shouldnt worry. Cos thats how people c us. Ive also had trouble keeping jobs for a few reasons. (talk about self confidence knock eh) We are better than what others have led us to believe and what we have led ourselves to believe. Cast your mind back to 'who you are'..really think.. and stick with it. Dont let 2011 control you. Control 2011!! Give yourself that right to be happy again x x
Shorty999
December 30, 2010
Thanks sho1234...It's nice to hear that. I am hoping and trying to turn things around for 2011. My divorce will be final in March and all my work restrictions were lifted for the medical condition I have, so I will be able to work more, which will help with one stress financially. Thanks again.
LoveMii
December 31, 2010
I haven't look in a mirror at myself in 2yrs,I'm in the worst depression of my life..Growing up I barely spoke a word to no one . I was sexually , mentally and physically abused. I might have social anxiety but I think it's more that I don't relate to anyone around me. You are not alone I'm afraid of everything too,I hate poeple looking at me, I have a fear that I might marry a pedo or woman beater so I don't ever want to get married but I don't think I could ever care for a guy that much to marry him.
Shorty999
December 31, 2010
Thanks for the reply...yea, Im afraid of marrying again...hopefully I do it right the second time. Maybe that's what I need to do is not look in a mirror or atleast put it up so high that all I can see is my eyes to do my eye make-up. I'll be thinking of ya!
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
Well, I've been a very weird person since I can remember. I wasn't a "normal" child. I;m not a "normal" adult now either. Serious stuff I have: depression (almost recovered now), neurosis, social phobia, ADD. Strange things about me: - I also had thoughts of being watched all the time (Big Brother -style). Sometimes when I was a teen it got to the point that I would take a bath in my underwear. Really. I would also look around for cameras in my house. These thoughts were getting crazy after watching some films, like the Truman Show. I no longer have those thoughts. - A feeling that people read my thoughts. I get that especially when I fall in love with someone (who doesn't realize that) or when I fantasize about a person. It's funny since I'm a very rational person as in I don't believe in any supersticious things, mind reading, telepathy and the like. - I have a general obsession with privacy. I hate people looking over my shoulder at what I'm doing, or asking me what I am doing. I'm anxious to let anyone use my computer. I get angry/ancious when people are looking around my room too carefully (as in approaching my book shelf to look at the books, though I know it's normal that people would do that). In my room when I was a teenager I would arrange things and be very careful about what was on view, I'd want everything to say something about me (good things of course), as if anyone cared. -----split because of spam filter :D -----
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
part 2 - I'm obsessed with the thought that some people I feel even a little bit attracted to would think I'm in love with them and thus think of me as an "intruder" in their life, a weirdo, a stupid lonely girl that hits on everyone she meets. - I can't make serious decisions. And whatever my decision is, I always regret it afterwards. Even if it is a "good" decision. - I have trouble making small decisions too, like when I'm shopping. I spend HOURS browsing online stores and not buying anything. - I hardly ever eat something that I've never eaten before. I also have trouble listening to new music (I'm a music geek so that's really annoying to me). - In the evenings I obsessively think about minor things I said during the day that I feel someone might have misunderstood, even though the people probably forgot about it a second after I said them. I have a strong fear of being misunderstood. I still feel sick when I think about some silly little mistakes I made YEARS ago. I'm scared of making a fool of myself and it results in me actually doing things that DO make me look like a fool hahahaha.
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
Apparently the spam filter finds my story boring enough to call it spam :D . So I guess I will have to figure out how to be able to post the rest of my comment without triggering the f*cker.
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
part 3 - I have serious motivation issues that I noticed didn't pass with my depression (I thought I was so passive because of depression). I just can't get myself to do anything. I can go WEEKS without leaving if I have no obligations that make me leave. I'm a smoker and I can go days without smoking just because I can't be bothered to go out and buy some cigarettes. That means : laziness>addiction. Amazing, isn't it? :D I can't get anything done. I waste a lot of time. I;m wasting my life. The motivation issues and ADD is what ruins my life the most right now. I noticed some of you were mentioning the lack of will power before - that's exactly my problem. And I too have the problem with lacking the power to even move my limbs sometimes. When I was in a worse state (with my depression), while walking I had a strong fear that at some point i would just stop and not be able to move forward, that I would just sit right there and wait for someone to take me home. Every step was a f*cking marathon for me.
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
Part 4 My "body" has control over my consciousness, not the other way round, that's why I was scared that I would stop. At times I had to roll over to fall of the bed to somehow force myself to get up, because I couldn't simply lift myself off the bed. - I had some other compulsive behaviours also. At one point I would cut pieces of paper in certain way for hours. And I would keep the results, I felt like it was something special, even if it was just trash. I would waste hours and hours doing such things, and I would always keep the results. - that leads to another problem of mine: compulsive hoarding. I can't throw out anything. I feel everything is special, important, I have to keep everything. I keep even the most ridiculous and meaningless "souvenirs" of my past, which is often trash. I also sometimes buy stuff I don't need, especially books (don't need them since I don't read the due to attention deficit) I also get more emotionally attached to stuff than to people. Yep, I'm a complete effing weirdo. I cry/feel like crying if someone breaks something that belongs to me, or if I break it. I make a BIG DEAL out of such small things. I try to hide my feelings though not to come off as a crazy person / someone obsessed with material things / a childish person. When I was about 5 I got a doll from my father (I had 3 or 4 dolls) and some time later I broke it a bit - so the arm was almost falling off and I knew it would eventually fall off, so I cried all night because of that fear of it breaking completely. It was only one night because my sister saw me crying and somehow managed to comfort me ;). It wasn't even my favourite doll, in fact it was the ugliest one. Go figure.
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
Part 5 - I suffered from insomnia when I was a child/teenager. Now I can't fall asleep and I also sleep too much. When I have a moment during the day when feel like I have nothing to do, or I forget to control myself, I go and lie in my bed automatically. Sometimes i catch myself removing stuff from my bed preparing it to lie down. I don't control that habit at all. Spend most of my life in bed. - I don't control many of my habits, such as closing the door to my room. Sometimes i leave the door open so that I don't gas myself with cigarette smoke ;) - a little while later I notice the door is shut. I don't even know when I closed it. Also, when I'm lost in thought or excited about some thoughts I get up and walk into some other place (kitchen, bathroom) and come back, sit in the same place. I don't even know I'm doing that, my former roommate pointed that out to me. At two points in my life I had a habit of walking back and forth in my room when I got too overwhelmed with some thoughts and I couldn't stop. I once paced like that for 1,5 hour. At the time I had this habit I was really exhausted all the time from all the pacing hahah. It comes back at times, but is triggered only by some really intense thoughts.
luckyteapot
January 06, 2011
Part 6 - actually, all the thinking-related stuff is pretty important here, since I find myself daydreaming and fantasizing for several hours every day. Back in the day I had a whole complex world created in my mind and my fantasies were set in that world. Now it's more chaotic, I don't create one long complex plot or set of characters, just many short stories. And nowadays I am present in my daydreams. When I was a kid/teenager I would never appear in those imagined scenarios. I also didn't appear in the majority of my night dreams. - Like some people who commented before, I also have gender issues (I'm pretty much non-gender or both genders at the same time. I wish I was perceived mainly as a human, not as a woman (I know it sounds strange/controversial but explaining it would take a looong time). I'm a feminist and I very much love the so called "feminine" traits, but it pisses me off that many traits that I consider "human" are seen as either feminine or masculine. Gender equality is important to me, and my gender identity issues are I think kind of related to that, or maybe not, I don't know. I just felt that it is important enough to add it in this post about "personalities of skin pickers" ;)
missrose
February 13, 2012
I have the same exact "symptoms" , it's like you read my "in-my-head" life story. I still have urges to set up my bedroom just-so to give people some idea of me, even though I know that's all in my head. Growing up I could not take a bath or a shower without one of my family's dogs in the bathroom with me, along with all bathtub curtains drawn because I was paranoid someone was watching me or would show up outside the shower stall while my eyes were closed. I've been a picker my whole life, I'm 21 and forcibly stopped picking my hangnails/cuticles when I was about 12, and still have massive red scarring around my nail bed. I still compulsively pick my scabs, I panic when my bf tries to distract me from trying to pick.
wolfandthefox
January 07, 2011
i sometimes feel like people might be able to know what i'm thinking!
caitlin90
January 07, 2011
I'm introverted, organized and logical. I would consider myself a bit of a "love addict", which means I am terrified of living my life without a significant other. The only abnormal parts about me, I think, are the love addict parts and then random bits of OCD, anxiety and very slight paranoia.

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